waiting4u Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 It seems like everyone I meet online just wants to chit-chat via messages back and forth about nothing in particular and never suggest meeting up. It's like they are scared you will figure out all their pictures are fake and they aren't who they claim to be. How long do you give someone to suggest a meet up before you write them off? I don't want to waste my time.
365daysgone Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Your a GIRL right? A lot of guys are probably afraid to offer it too soon. They think it will scare the girl away. YOU need to ask. Jesus Christ, must the man do EVERYTHING?! 1
Author waiting4u Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 Well apparently I'm supposed to do everything. I message them first. I ask them out first. Wtf?
365daysgone Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 You are a rarity then if you message them first. This happens so rarely. 1
CarrieT Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 It's like they are scared you will figure out all their pictures are fake and they aren't who they claim to be. More likely you will figure out that they are married and are on the site for vicarious thrills... When I was doing the OLD, I would chit-chat for a few days before going to an actual phone call. If I felt okay during the phone call, more often than not, *I* was the one suggesting a meet-and-greet. About 80% of the time, they never wanted to meet or they would get cold feet. I even had one guy call me as I was sitting and waiting for him, explaining that he just found his next door neighbor had hanged himself. Funny that something so dramatic in such a small town was not reported in the paper... Never heard from the guy again.
heartshaped Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 If you message them first, it may be that they are not all that interested in you tbh. I find in OLD if a guy is really interested in getting to know you he will ask for your number after a brief correspondence and from there ask you on a date. 2
forgetmenot75 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Wow. My experience is inverse. They want to meet ASAP. I need time, maybe weeks of chatting, etc. but guys are not patient, they want to meet now. Maybe you're looking in the wrong place? Which old are you using? 1
FitChick Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 I even had one guy call me as I was sitting and waiting for him, explaining that he just found his next door neighbor had hanged himself. Funny that something so dramatic in such a small town was not reported in the paper... You've gotta give the guy credit for creativity.
KathyM Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 More likely you will figure out that they are married and are on the site for vicarious thrills.... Exactly. Both of my sister's ex husbands were trawling dating websites while still married to my sister. My friend's husband also was trawling dating sites and corresponding with women out of curiosity. All of these men did not meet up with any women from the dating sites, they were "exploring their options." Men who are single and free to date and actually interested in a dating relationship are not interested in wasting time with a lot of back and forth Emails before meeting up usually. There are those that also like to engage in a lot of Emails first before meeting up who are actually single, but those are likely the ones who, as you said, want to develop a connection first so that you won't be easily deterred when you meet them in person. 1
Tallblueyed Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 My experience with OLD conditioned me to get to the meet and greet sooner than later. Humbly, I got lots of messages from girls; and I would reply to ones that caught my eye (both in looks and profile content). Normally I would keep things VERY light and funny (my profile was full of humor and it got a lot of responses). Earlier with OLD, I would spend copious amounts time and energy in emails and texts. I enjoy creative writing, so it really was mutually amusing. But I realized that digital chemistry did not always equate to real life chemistry; so I eventually simplified and cut to the chase. If they couldn't meet for a week, then I’d keep the messages short and sweet; normally just a message every few days letting them know I was looking forward to meeting them (along with a funny comment or two). 1
Tallblueyed Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Oh, and stay away from POF. That place is a troll haven, for both male and female. I met a fair share of flakes there. If you are serious about dating, you should go with Match (although there are trolls there too). 1
SugarLips72 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 I am on OKCupid and I used Match last year. I pretty much meet within a week of starting correspondence. The longer you drag it out the odds are you will not meet. Either life gets in the way or they meet someone else. The past year I have met about 10 guys online and all I met within a week of contact. It is really the only ay to see if someone is legit. 2
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