Stayinsilence Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 My ex is in prison and is the father of my six year old. I've never wanted contact with him but now my son who struggles with shyness and stutters wants his Daddy. We have been writing him letters and now started to talk to him on the phone. Ever since I've been having dreams about him coming to my house and cuddling me telling me everything is ok. I read his letters over and over again and cry. I was over him, I was moving on and now I'm not sure. I'm seeing another man that I think is great and I'm attracted to, but given the fact he thinks stutters are funny I don't want him meeting my son. People who laugh at him aren't ok with me... I miss my ex, I hate being a single mom with a boy who deserves more. I just can't get over him even though he broke my heart... He's not getting out for a LOOOOOOOONG time and I know it's stupid to wait for him, but lately he's all I've wanted... What should I do? What CAN I do? I'm so alone.
Neall Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 That's a very tough situation, but you shouldn't feel bad for having that emotions... Since he is the father of your kid it's even worse. Sorry to tell you the truth. But right now you have 2 options, you must choose to move on with your life and be alone or finding another person, or simply wait for him. But i don't know the situation, but dont get too lonely... You have your son, and you must keep friends close so you can talk and speak abou the situation you are living. I honestly can't tell for you to wait for him, since i dont know completely the situation... Try to go out with your son, or sometimes go out with your friends, meet new people.. Don't really be sad and lonely, you need love to give to your son too... Be strong, and you are not alone, speak here and talk with us! I hope you keep replying!
Author Stayinsilence Posted August 29, 2013 Author Posted August 29, 2013 My ex planned a robbery that resulted in the death of an officer and one of his friends. I was seven months pregnant at the time and found out through the evening news. I've onl visited him once in the last six years. I knew before I got pregnant we weren't going to last. My son is the product of: going on vacation, my birth control vanishing from my bag, and a few too many drinks for me.
JDPT Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 I don't have any kids but can only imagine how difficult this situation must be, it breaks my heart. I can only suggest what I would do. I would focus on your child as he is the most important person in this world. Think that your child needs a strong mom to be there for him and at such a young and tender age he needs so much guidance and love. As much as you may miss your child's father, know that he will not be around for a long time and that your son need you to be there for him now. You are all he has in this world, please find that inner strength to propel yourself day in and day out. I admire you for being a single mother and bearing all the responsibility and weight on your shoulders. Remain strong and know that your son is above all now. 1
Neall Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 well that's tough, how are you holding up? have u been going out? do you have any friends that are close and can hear you? i know its tough, you need to speak with someone, ofcourse you can talk with us, but yeah it's hard ... do you still love in? and want him? because you need to see things and catch up with reality, you will not be able to see him, in years? long years?
Author Stayinsilence Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 My son is my world, he governs my life. Being a good mom is my first priority and everything else comes after. I don't cry around him because he's so tender hearted. If he saw me crying he'd be inconsolable, because Mommy was hurting... So I cry when he's in bed. I am seeing a man who apparently thinks speech impediments are funny. Which is why he has yet to meet my child. I'm really interested in him but that turns me off majorly. I don't have anyone to talk to because everyone would disregard it, or chastise me because he's in prison.
Neall Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Yeah, I understand, and you should be feeling calm here because no one has judged him because he's in prison! Which i understand, well people are selfish, and they don't want to think much about negative stuff, so they just are fast at judging and slow on putting themselves on your spot. I will be very honest with you, can you tell me if you still think there are possibilities of getting together with him?
JDPT Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 My son is my world, he governs my life. Being a good mom is my first priority and everything else comes after. I don't cry around him because he's so tender hearted. If he saw me crying he'd be inconsolable, because Mommy was hurting... So I cry when he's in bed. I am seeing a man who apparently thinks speech impediments are funny. Which is why he has yet to meet my child. I'm really interested in him but that turns me off majorly. I don't have anyone to talk to because everyone would disregard it, or chastise me because he's in prison. This really irritates me and I'll be honest to say that not a lot of things in life do. If this man believes that your son's condition is one big joke then he is certainly not the right man for you let alone your son. He is clearly not mature enough to deal with life's circumstances or have the capability to embrace and accept everyone's uniqueness. I can only suggest that it's time for you to move along and find someone who will respect you and your son fully. I really feel for you and I'm confident that it will all turn out for the best. We are all here for you.
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