Author IWS2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 She just texted me about my son's birthday... to let him know that that she's thinking about him to wish him happy birthday
NXS Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 She just texted me about my son's birthday... to let him know that that she's thinking about him to wish him happy birthday You should thank her and let her know you're thinking about her. 1
NXS Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Doesnt sound needy of me? No she gave you a message for your son, it's his birthday today yes? So you're acknowledging her message and basically letting her know you'll tell him. You already said you need a break to think about things in the email so I don't see how that's any different than what you've already said in the email. If you text her "I'm dying here, I can't live without you, you're my everything..." now that would be needy. LOL
Author IWS2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 But add that Im thinking of her???
NXS Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 But add that Im thinking of her??? Yes, you already said in the email you need a few days to a week to think about things, you're backing up what you said in the email by saying you're thinking about her. I don't see how that is 'needy', "thinking about her" is exactly in line with what you said you're going to do.
NXS Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Here's what you wrote yesterday: I love you and you know I'm your biggest fan and I want the best for you in everything !! [...] The break is not intended as a time to see other people; it's to try and strengthen our relationship if we are truly meant to be with each other. [...] It may let us realize if we feel that we are better off apart or if we are better off together. We both need to think about what we both want and what we both can accept in each other, and where this relationship goes from here. [...] If we can take a few days or a week to step back, breathe, think, and look at the bigger picture, I think we can re-connect with each other and take it slowly from there. Love, ER Now you're reticent about saying "thinking about you"?? Is there something missing here?
Author IWS2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 But do you feel she was thinking of me when she wrote that, and if not, do you feel she maybe felt obligated to write that?
Author IWS2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 So.... just say.. "Thank you. I will tell him. I'm thinking about you."
NXS Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 But do you feel she was thinking of me when she wrote that, and if not, do you feel she maybe felt obligated to write that? Ah I see where you're coming from now, she never replied to the email? So that's why you don't want to include it. She obviously is still thinking about you, it would be impossible not to after being in a relationship for 9 months and now on a break. As for her intentions we can only speculate, she either wants to give the relationship the space you requested or she is being polite about a breakup. Either way you can only go with what you intended which was to give the relationship a few days to a weeks space and take it from there.
Author IWS2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 Exactly, she never replied, which I expected, due to what I requested in it. So.... Will it make it clear what I said in the letter or If I don't reply, is it rude and will further push us apart ?
NXS Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 So.... just say.. "Thank you. I will tell him. I'm thinking about you." Yes that would be fine, btw "thinking about you" is a vague term in light of what has been going on and your break so it's not going to smother her.
Author IWS2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 I like this: "Thank you. I will let him know. Have a good weekend."
NXS Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Exactly, she never replied, which I expected, due to what I requested in it. So.... Will it make it clear what I said in the letter or If I don't reply, is it rude and will further push us apart ? I would go for the latter, it would make you look rude because of the nature of text about a message to your son if you don't reply. It's his birthday today so it has to be replied to today or not at all.
Author IWS2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 Thanks...I'm looking at writing this: "Thank you. I will let him know. Have a good weekend." I think it shows a little distance (not casual.......since casual would show inconsistency in what I wrote/did)
NXS Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Thanks...I'm looking at writing this: "Thank you. I will let him know. Have a good weekend." I think it shows a little distance (not casual.......since casual would show inconsistency in what I wrote/did) I don't know, it sounds more like something you hear from customer services to me.
Author IWS2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 Thanks. Just curious....I like your advice, so what would you say?
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Really guy....all this obsessing and control over how to respond to a simple birthday wish is insane. What would you say to ANYONE else who sent the same message? "Thank you, I appreciate your nice wishes." Simple.
NXS Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Thanks. Just curious....I like your advice, so what would you say? Ok you clearly don't want to say anything too personal to her but your suggested replies a way too stiff so how about you say something about your son and the party. Something light/fun and personal to you about going to the birthday party?
Author IWS2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 I went with "Thank you. I will let him know." I did not put I'm thinking about you NOR the have a good weekend. Thanks !!
NXS Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 I went with "Thank you. I will let him know." I did not put I'm thinking about you NOR the have a good weekend. Thanks !! Finally a reply! LOL 1
Author IWS2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 (edited) Nothing more to do but still wait for her to reply ? I wonder if she will contact me again? Now I think I've kind of made her wonder what this response means, since my response didn't really have any clues as to the state of the relationship. Edited August 31, 2013 by IWS2013 .
NXS Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Nothing more to do but still wait for her to reply ? I wonder if she will contact me again? Now I think I've kind of made her wonder what this response means, since my response didn't really have any clues as to the state of the relationship. Yes you have to wait it out for now, if you contact her again too soon it will look weak. I'd suggest give it a few days then ask her to go out next weekend (a few days in advance) and tell her there's a lot you want to talk about. Make it a neutral venue like a restaurant. I think it's a bit premature for "no contact" for now as it's not officially over. If she agrees then great, you can work out what to say to her. If she doesn't get back to you then you know it's over and then you have to go NC. Either way you'll get your answer and can decide what to do from there.
Author IWS2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 Thanks.....!!! She called me at 4am but didn't leave a message ( I went to sleep around 3:30 a.m.)
NXS Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Thanks.....!!! She called me at 4am but didn't leave a message ( I went to sleep around 3:30 a.m.) It sounds like a drink/dialling call, don't call her back.
Recommended Posts