ChopinLives Posted November 14, 2004 Posted November 14, 2004 Hello, first of all I want to apologize for my long story. I feel the need to write it down, and read what people who dont know me think about it. I am not native english, so my writing skills are somehow poor, and I hope you can make somehting of my story. Something about me, I am 24 years old, and a very (over?) sensitive person. I was in a 6-year relation wich didnt last, because of numerous reasons, differences and finally an enormous hurt for me, when I found out that my ex slept with someone else, during a periode in wich we should think about what we really wanted from echother, and with eachother.... that was 6 months ago. I told her goodbye. At the very beginning of that relationship I met another girl at university. We had a strange bond, a click.... Its hard to describe... but there was endless attraction, in every way. She, at that time had a boyfriend and we managed to handle that attraction in a proper way. After six months I left the university and lost contact. (somehow it seems everything falls into a cycle of 6... I just noticed ) Anyway, After a year I was in het town, I decided, impulsively to visit her..... from that moment we met about once a year, finally after 3 or 4 years we kissed, we ended up on a bed.... BUt I couldnt stay, it felt so good, and yet so bad.... so I left. A year ago, I didnt speak with her for a year by then, I lost all data I had on her, numbers adresses (my phone was stolen). a funny dtail is that the first thing that hit me when I realised this, is that I lost to ability to contact her.... BUt she contacted me, after 2 years, 3 months ago.... asking how I was, telling me that there were many changes in her life and that she wanted to meet me. I decided to give it a go. and I went.... what happened was, well, it was a new experience for me. We met at a bar, and outside were some people I knew so I sat down a sec and talked with them... Suddenly I felt funny, I started to sweat and something forced me to look behind me. There she stood. The most beautiful eyes I ever stared into. We spend the day, the evening, the night, the morning...gazing, chatting making love., it was the most intense moment I experienced by then. In the weeks after that more meetings followed, and now I am madly in love, it feels like I know her for ages, yet I know little about her, I like talking, filosophising, yet around her I become speechless. I write her poems (they are really not that bad!), I visit her before work, bringing breakfast.... I take her out to concerts, suprise her.... In every way, I show her how I feel, and she knows that.... But she...well she writes me beautiful things, but it appears she has a brake on things..... she even admitted this, with no so many words when I asked her why it takes her three weeks before she can come over... I am wondering so hard why.... maybe the intensity, maybe she doesnt feel the same as I do maybe maybe... Maybe I should invite her for a conversation about this, and so I did.... What I want to know is your opinion about what I should say, or not say in that conversation. Here is why: If I look inside myself and ask myself what I want, it is so clear.... I want her.... It feels so good, so natural...I could even say I can spend the rest of my life with her, I am certain of that. Yet, I have the feeling I scare her away with my behaviour....but why, does anybody know this feeling, perhaps because he or she was in a similar situation? And what happened in the end? I wanna stay true to myself, but maybe I should give her more breath.... I do like to know were we stand....where I stand in all this.... We dont have a relation.... we are dating I guess.... All these questions.... feel free to say as you please, am I obsessive, am I to romantic, do you think I live in a fairy tale? For me.... love makes so many other things trivial.... I would appreciate your opinion, thanks for reading, Chopin~
opaleye Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 You sound like a really sweet guy who takes his feelings seriously. And that's a good thing. Although, if you think that you might be smothering her a bit then you should ease off- maybe make sure that you're not the one who's always making first contact- let her call you sometimes and let her make plans- that way you'll know that she's really into it. It sounds like you have something pretty special and very intense going on so I really think that you should make sure that you give her some room to breathe and don't freak her out. Don't bring her breakfast before work every day or anything like that because she might feel that you are checking up on her or getting too involved in her life too fast (even though bringing her breakfast is a very sweet thing to do). If you do talk to her about it just make it clear that you feel that she is very special and everything and that if she wants you to do something differently then she just has to ask. Don't let a lack of communication ruin something that sounds very good. If she doesn't feel the same way you do right now it doesn't mean that she doesn't like you or that she will never feel that way about you- people get to different stages at different times and while you might be very quick to develop very strong and intense feelings she might be different and need more time to get to where you are. Best of luck to you and your girl.
Author ChopinLives Posted November 15, 2004 Author Posted November 15, 2004 Thanks for your reply.... I hear a lot that I think too much, I do think I freak her out (I just brought her breakfast once btw ) but she never said anything to me straight away, some hints yes... . It is just very hard for me to calm down a bit, since I feel so strong, but maybe I should indeed.... Still I like to know what she thinks about this "thing" we have....
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