systemfailure Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 At first I was kinda sad, I knew him pretty well and I liked him, but I keep feeling more and more spiteful and glad that he's dead and that she is feeling a fraction of the overwhelming pain and sadness that I've felt for the past 12 months of my life. I know how horrible that is but I cant help it, I can only wish horrible things on her, I hate her so god damn much for what she did to me. Just thought I'd share...
Author systemfailure Posted August 29, 2013 Author Posted August 29, 2013 Yeah thats pretty much it. I have wished everything bad upon her since we've broken up.. especially that her whole family and everyone she loved would die but not her, just that she would have to suffer with it. partly came true and I really don't have much guilt at all. in fact I still wish that.. wish I could get rid of the anger but I don't know if I ever will.
GorillaTheater Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 Looks like you're dealing with your feelings honestly, and that's good, but I hope you realize how completely sh*tty this seems.
Author systemfailure Posted August 29, 2013 Author Posted August 29, 2013 Of course I do. But I'm so incredibly angry inside I just cant help it. I do feel like a bad person for feeling this way but at the same time I feel like its not even close to enough. I want her to suffer more than anyone has ever suffered before. Keep in mind Its been a whole year since she broke up with me and I have made a lot of progress, mostly in the last 2 months or so.. I can honestly say that she isn't literally the only thing I think about 24/7 anymore, which is huge. But the anger is obviously still there with no sign of getting better.
seekingpeaceinlove Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 Anger is a natural emotion which can help motivate such as helping you get over someone who dumped you. Anger is also something that can destroy you. Hold on to the anger long enough and you will be the only one burned by it. It's time to let go. Feeling good that your ex is going through an unimaginable loss greiving her brother is a sign that it's time to change. You don't want the anger to turn you into someone you really don't want to be. 3
James-London Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 You are not a bad person for feeling angry. We all fantasise that bad things will happen to people who hurt us. Its normal. The thing about being angry is that it does not achieve anything for you. Instead it just makes you more and more into someone you don't want to be. I hope that does not give you reason to feel more angry! I just split with my GF who was cheating on me big time. The whole relationship was a lie. So, I know a bit about feeling angry too. Emotions like anger, sadness etc. need to be ridden out. They tend to just hang out in your mind for as long as they like... just go with it. but don't feel guilty about feeling angry. No point.
Omei Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Well trust me shes's suffering, family is family forever siblings are forever, she's suffering more than a lost love could ever have. One day you will get over her, she on the other hand will never forget her brother thats there for life. Pretty sure you need not wish more lol We all get angry, I wish my ex's house would burn down so hed be forced to finally grow up. 1
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Part of the reason MY ex left me was because her brother didn't want her marrying a non jew. (I'm Sicilian- Italian) Seriously??? Just plain silly. This is why I'm an Aethiest. Sorry for your loss and pain either way.
Heartbroken Eagle Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 (edited) 6 months after my break up, I'm still consumed with anger with my ex for her treatment towards me and her mother's role in all of this, and wish nothing but hatred to them. I'm also angry because I miss my son and only see him every other weekend. Trust me it does not help having to see the ex and sometimes I leave the meeting shaking with anger and wait until I get in the car to breakdown in tears. I've got to move on because this is almost taking over my life and I am so much better than this. Also, she is so not worth all of this angst. Part of me feel that she gets a kick out of seeing me like this and use it to justify her actions. But I still hate her, pure and simple. Edited September 1, 2013 by Heartbroken Eagle Grammar
beyond Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Wow. As it's been a year since you broke up and your previous thread mentions suicide, I would respectfully suggest you consider counselling to get all these thoughts and your anger out in a safe environment.
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