FitChick Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I have considered tubal ligation at the age of 26 (not just because I'm considering a life of spinsterhood), but then read about all the ill effects. There are many more ill effects from pregnancy and childbirth, including death! Get a tubal ligation. I have several friends who have had them (one with two kids and the other women are single) and no one complained. Then you can have all the wild and crazy sex you want with guys who are always worried about women getting pregnant.
Author hotpotato Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 Thats always a baseless observation when someone tries to use celebrities as a comparison to our everyday lives. Do you think George Clooney just sits around for weeks at a time, doing nothing, spending day in and day out alone, like many single people do?? You have no idea what his sex life is like....what his social life is like....or anything. And do you really think of all the single people to choose from....that George Clooney, labeled as one of the most attractive men in Hollywood is a good example to use as someone being single?? I used him because *People know who he is, but most people dont know someone who is single by choice *He could get married but doesn't. This is the group of people who I was targeting. You're right, I dont know much about his sex life. Buuut I'm guessing he's an alpha male who can gets sex when he wants if he wants it. This actually isn't different from some of us, especially women. And really, who sits around for weeks at a time? I dont, whether or not I'm single. I still go to the movies, go out to eat, go for nice walks on the beach. I do *many* things and have *many* things planned. I'm very social and fairly popular in my alternative lifestyle community. Being single doesn't stop me from doing what i want or having fun and doesn't mean I'm am 'alone.'
Woggle Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 +10000 This has been my observation as well. Even women that I've been in long-term relationships with have tried (and failed) to do this to me. My wife is the first woman I dated long term meaning more than a few months that never tries to change me and never treats me like a child and doesn't have a whole bunch of double standards. She knows I am who I am and trying to change me will not work but she doesn't try anyway. If I didn't have this kind of marriage I would gladly stay single. I am an adult man who has been on my own since I was 16 so what would I look like being treated like a well trained child. 1
Melissa82 Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I didn't CHOOSE it but I accepted it I don't believe everyone has a person they are supposed to be with, some of us are just not meant to.... so spinster hood it shall be I am open to a relationship but don't live my life looking for a man, however I am NOT open to the idea of marriage, ever
ltjg45 Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I'm currently considering that path. My options would get better once I get the chance to move out of Jacksonville but, in my current situation, I can see me going relationship-less up to the age of 30 and it's only because either the woman is taken, she isn't interested, or (even if she is taken) there is a red flag or two that is a complete dealbreaker with me.
candie13 Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I got no pbm with confirmed bachelors as long as they are upfront about it. MY ex was / is just that. He may not realize or he may have simply been lying to buy some more time with me. I've never thought I would not get married or have children. That is important to me and I have been very upfront about that since the beginning. He'd wasted my time, stole 8 months of my life. I don't regret the experience per se, I got to know him, interesting character, but I'd have never taken him seriously - or even dated him, had I known the truth. I mean, it's one thing to lie to a 28 years old, she's got time. I'm 33 - was 32 at the time. Absolutely no mercy. Oh well, another great experience!
dj572 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I am divorced and regret that I ever got married in the first place. I have tried dating again but I just don't think I can ever get married again. Woggle nailed it when he said most women now treat their husbands/boyfriends like trained dogs. I don't want any part of it anymore. I worked hard to re-establish myself finacially and emotionally and I don't want to mess it up. I do enjoy female companionship but I don't want marriage anymore. I am ok with staying single.
Imported Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 What I do now, doesn't really make me happy.
Author hotpotato Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 I am just about there. For me, I have had enough of the games and heartache associated with trying to find love. I am extraordinary at my job, I have a very full life, and I love who I am as a person - yet I can't find someone who agrees with me. I know that for the moment I am too worn out and I no longer trust my "picker" as I keep falling for men who retract their promises at very inopportune times (i.e. as I am starting to develop real feelings for them). Being burned like that does something to a gal you know? I am also tired of taking the high road and understanding that a lot of the men in my age group are "not ready for a relationship" after being hurt by their "starter marriages." Since I don't want to perpetuate the cycle by dating when I am emotionally bereft I am for the moment opted out. Considering that I am 36 and my primary drive for love was centered around an image of myself in a marriage with children, I feel that by the time I get my own head together it will be too late. Thus - why bother at all? Why not instead focus on all the wonderful things my life has to offer, that I can do for myself, and that I genuinely love - partner or not. I am trying to get my head around what it means to be a perpetual singleton and to embrace that with joyousness vs. my current state of contempt. So for the moment yes, permanent single status. I am not yet sure if I have I am curious as to others reasons and responses and hoping one will ignite something in me that makes me more excited or at least more resolute about the road in front me. Hi! I also saw myself with the marriage and the children. However, I learned that I probably wont be able to carry a child to term, which has ended in much heartbreak. The impetus is gone, and I'm not sure if I want the drama of trying to find someone now. I too am opting out of a cycle. I'm stuck in a 'repetition compulsion.' My daddy left me, so now every man I date leaves,too. Supposedly, it's much less common for men to end the relationships, but it happens to me, always. What's the point? If I ever get into a relationship again, I promise I will not be the one doing 80% of the work. I'll just let it fail, like they do, and move on. Even now I dont cry or beg. I just let them go. I dont put up a fight when they leave, and really why should I? ebraced that for my lifetime, especially since I was cursed with an abnormally high sex drive. I tend to forget my declarations of swearing off men as soon as my "lower brain" gets unrmuly. The good news is that many men are willing to give away sex without commitment. I am active in an alternative lifestyle community, trust me, this is true. You may have a few close calls, but for the most part commitment is not something you have to worry about. That being said, some guys will be more interested in your now that you are unavailable to them. People want what they can't have.
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