opaleye Posted November 14, 2004 Posted November 14, 2004 Hi Guys. I am asking this question regarding one of my friends because I don't really know what advice to give her when she asks me about her situation so I thought you guys could help! Okay, so my friend and her boyfriend have been together for just over a year. They are both at uni and my friend has decided that she's going to go work in France for 6 months next year teaching English. Her boyfriend kinda assumed that he would go along with her but she told him that she wants to go alone and grow as a person, see the world and all that. He got annoyed and is not okay with it. He's quite dramatic and emotional and I think that he has some issues about not being good enough for her and not being able to keep her. He's trying to accept it but he's the jealous type and keeps telling her how he's worried that she won't come back to him and that she'll meet some sexy french guy and leave him forever. They are both each others first serious relationship and love each other a lot. Whenever my friend mentions going away her boyfriend gets all twitchy and upset and he's still talking about going with her. They have kind of compromised that they will meet up for the last month of her trip or something but the whole thing is causing some problems in their relationship. So what do you guys think? How should she deal with his feelings about going away? She told me that she thought maybe about bringing up going on a break (but I KNOW that he wouldn't be interested in anyone else and I'm not sure about her) but she doesn't want to bring it up cos she knows that he'd get really upset and cry and take it that she doesn't love him. So what do you think? Oh yeah, I forgot to say that she's not going away till like july next year so it's still a good half year away and it's already causing friction between them.
ChopinLives Posted November 14, 2004 Posted November 14, 2004 I can feel for the boyfriend, he feels rejected. He wants to be with the girl who stole his heart, and now she runs away with it. She wants a relation, but she wants to lead her own life, as many girls.....and at some point these two will get in conflict. She needs to realize the world is not a big candystore, where you can run in and take what you like. If she is serious about the realtion, she wouldnt wanna go in the first place if she doesnt have to. In my opinion, this guy deserves someone who really loves him.
missopinionated Posted November 21, 2004 Posted November 21, 2004 I think that she's making a really good decision, 'cause if he's that upset that she wants to develop her mind, what's he going to do if she decides to get a great job and make way more money than him -- because he's clearly a moron? Why's she marking time with this guy now anyway? She should leave now! Tell her to change her dorm and her phone number and to get an alarm and caller ID and to get rid of the rock around her neck before she ends up living in some small town, with three kids and him, dressed in a dirty undershirt that barely covers his hairy fat belly. Yuck. Frenchmen are wonderful, smell good, drink good wine and live realy close to Itally, Spain, England and Switzerland, where there is more good food, an abundance of people who speak four languages really well and consider 20 lbs overweight as unacceptable and who do NOT consider eating anywhere that the food takes under 1/2 an hour to prepare. Or, she can stay with her one-dimesional, control freak of a potential wife-beater.
irrelivent Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 I think that she's making a really good decision, 'cause if he's that upset that she wants to develop her mind, what's he going to do if she decides to get a great job and make way more money than him -- because he's clearly a moron? Why's she marking time with this guy now anyway? She should leave now! Tell her to change her dorm and her phone number and to get an alarm and caller ID and to get rid of the rock around her neck before she ends up living in some small town, with three kids and him, dressed in a dirty undershirt that barely covers his hairy fat belly. Yuck. Frenchmen are wonderful, smell good, drink good wine and live realy close to Itally, Spain, England and Switzerland, where there is more good food, an abundance of people who speak four languages really well and consider 20 lbs overweight as unacceptable and who do NOT consider eating anywhere that the food takes under 1/2 an hour to prepare. Or, she can stay with her one-dimesional, control freak of a potential wife-beater. I will admit that the boyfriend seems to be very overly controlling, but if she is truly in love with him then perhaps they could make more of a compramise. Perhaps half and half. And Missopionated, you need to chill out, your name fits very well and perhaps you should consider putting a WARNING at the begining of all your posts. Some of the stuff that you said is indeed good advice but you also seem to have little thought on how the guy feels, if he is so in love with her than it is natural to be feeling the way that he feels though perhaps not as emotionally...But what do i know...
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