Developing attraction for people who are good for you...

[RedRobin]

It was there and they probably didn't know it. Also some people mistake drama and uncertainty for passion which are not the same thing.

 

If a woman has to push herself to feel something for a man just because he is good for her I don't envy that man one bit.

 

ah, I see... the old 'a woman doesn't know what she wants or is feeling' argument.

 

Hmm... I see just the opposite. Women who have made a conscious choice to move out of past negative and destructive patterns to enjoy MUTUALLY rewarding relationships.

 

Who benefits?? Both the man AND the woman in these cases.

 

As for me... I've dumped every man I felt the super hot, early physical attraction to that you talk about. These guys couldn't help but try and push boundaries... so out they went. I guess they assumed they were going to lock me in emotionally?? while they sort out their feelings (or lack of) in their own space and time? Um no. Not happnin'

 

Oh... they weren't happy, AT ALL. So, I'd say your analogy, at least in my personal experience, is just the opposite.

 

The happiest men (long term) are the ones who can comfortably engage the affections of a woman at a reasonable pace... not the ones who have to rely on initial lust to reel her in.

 

I guess it is just up to the OP to trust that a guy willing and able to do that isn't lacking in any qualities that would make for a passionate pairing given sufficient time.

Edited August 30, 2013 by RedRobin

[Woggle]

ah, I see... the old 'a woman doesn't know what she wants or is feeling' argument.

 

Hmm... I see just the opposite. Women who have made a conscious choice to move out of past negative and destructive patterns to enjoy MUTUALLY rewarding relationships.

 

Who benefits?? Both the man AND the woman in these cases.

 

As for me... I've dumped every man I felt the super hot, early physical attraction to that you talk about. These guys couldn't help but try and push boundaries... so out they went. I guess they assumed they were going to lock me in emotionally?? while they sort out their feelings (or lack of) in their own space and time? Um no. Not happnin'

 

Oh... they weren't happy, AT ALL. So, I'd say your analogy, at least in my personal experience, is just the opposite.

 

The happiest men (long term) are the ones who can comfortably engage the affections of a woman at a reasonable pace... not the ones who have to rely on initial lust to reel her in.

 

I guess it is just up to the OP to trust that a guy willing and able to do that isn't lacking in any qualities that would make for a passionate pairing given sufficient time.

 

Some people have trouble telling the difference between passion and drama. Sometimes these people find real passion without drama but it takes a while for them to realize it.

 

If a woman is lukewarm about a man from the start but then has to force herself to like him because he is good for her it is usually a recipe for disaster.

[thefooloftheyear]

... I understand your question. I'm answering from the point of view of very long running marriages I've witnessed and men I know who have been in them... since I know you are looking for a good man.

 

No. I don't trust strong attraction from the beginning... AND... even if I did have strong physical attraction to them, I don't act on it while I get to know them.

 

I ditch men who try to get me to act on it before I get to know them.

 

The most stable, caring relationships... and ultimately, the most passionate... I've been in were not with men I felt an immediate attraction to. I'm not married to them because other incompatibilities arose.... however, I can say these experiences were life-enriching not damaging. I'm still friends and/or work with two of them.

 

Unlike the close calls with the early RAWR types.... no thanks.

 

Don't yell at me now, you!.....but could it be this type of scenario?

 

OK..So you say the guys you were hot for, never materialized into real R's..Fine..Could it be that you felt insecure about this hot guy? Like maybe you felt intimidated, or that he might cheat on you, so rather than deal with that, you wind up "settling" for the less attractive guy who is less threatening? And by doing so, you regain control?

 

Again, dont taze me, woman! Im just raising an issue here that can have actual merit and one which I have experienced in the past..

 

TFY

[Mrlonelyone]

Some people have trouble telling the difference between passion and drama. Sometimes these people find real passion without drama but it takes a while for them to realize it.

 

If a woman is lukewarm about a man from the start but then has to force herself to like him because he is good for her it is usually a recipe for disaster.

 

You are forgetting that fraction of women (and yes some men) who when they don't have drama in a relationship they create drama.

 

These sort of articles aren't for healthy undamaged people. Woggle you and your wife apparently either never had a traumatic relationship experience (By which I mean abusive or borderline abusive) or you got over it in some kind of therapy.

 

Many people are emotionally walking wounded and most of them never get professional help. These sorts often pick people who will hurt them like they have been hurt before in hopes that this new person won't hurt them and thus give them the acceptance by the initial one who hurt them.

 

The rest are simply immature and young adults who don't know what's good for them yet and mistake horniness for love.

[Star Gazer]

Healthy or not it is what determines if a man gets his heart broken or not. If there is not at least above mid range attraction at first most will always always deep down feel like they settled.

 

Maybe not love but at least a high level of lust. Anything less and it is usually doomed. Being with a woman who wonders if she is settling for me is my personal idea of hell. It's slow torture for a man.

 

This is internally inconsistent. Mid-range attraction is not "at least a high level of lust."

 

What you're advocating MUST exist from the very beginning - "a high level of lust" - is precisely the type of attraction that to me, is a symptom of unhealthy attraction, when experienced in the VERY beginning. I've never experienced "a high level of lust" in the VERY beginning with any guy where the guy was good for me, or resulted in a healthy relationship. To the contrary, that level of lust was always with guys who couldn't be worse for me.

[Woggle]

Unhealthy or not it determines whether or not a person feels like she is settling or whether or not she truly feels in love with him.

 

If you are attracted to men who are bad for you then seek help on that issue but don't date men you are only lukewarm about only to break their hearts later on. That is not fair to them.

 

I would never have gotten serious with my wife if I weren't sure she had those butterflies for me because I don't want to be that good and safe man that gets settled for.

[Star Gazer]

Unhealthy or not it determines whether or not a person feels like she is settling or whether or not she truly feels in love with him.

 

If you are attracted to men who are bad for you then seek help on that issue but don't date men you are only lukewarm about only to break their hearts later on. That is not fair to them.

 

Who says their hearts will be broken? I did this with Skiman, and he broke *mine*.

 

Are you reading all the posts from women (and men) in this thread who are blissfully in love and happier than ever (as are their SOs), who didn't start off with this "intense level of lust" you're saying is necessary at the VERY BEGINNING?

 

And again, we're talking about the VERY BEGINNING here. Why are you talking about truly feeling in LOVE at the very beginning? That is not normal or healthy to feel truly in love at the very beginning.

[KungFuJoe]

My wife and I both had a very high level of attraction AND lust right from the get go. I mean, it doesn't get anymore lustful than how we first got together.

[Star Gazer]

My wife and I both had a very high level of attraction AND lust right from the get go. I mean, it doesn't get anymore lustful than how we first got together.

 

Right, but with mutual cheating and being each others' OM/OW, there's obviously going to be some excitement that wouldn't exist in a faithful relationship - that's part of the draw in those relationships.

 

That's not how I want a relationship to start, so I don't want to use yours as a guiding example. Sorry, KFJ.

[Eve]

You are forgetting that fraction of women (and yes some men) who when they don't have drama in a relationship they create drama.

 

These sort of articles aren't for healthy undamaged people. Woggle you and your wife apparently either never had a traumatic relationship experience (By which I mean abusive or borderline abusive) or you got over it in some kind of therapy.

 

Many people are emotionally walking wounded and most of them never get professional help. These sorts often pick people who will hurt them like they have been hurt before in hopes that this new person won't hurt them and thus give them the acceptance by the initial one who hurt them.

 

The rest are simply immature and young adults who don't know what's good for them yet and mistake horniness for love.

 

Thanks for that, I was wondering how to term the fact that some people really aren't relationship material, no matter how the relationship begins. Identifying who you are in the first instance is most important, otherwise it is feel good advice.

 

Many never do this and try to fit themselves into something they cannot manage then find themselves always looking for a better life elsewhere, often with a partner and even children in tow.

 

My youngest is going through something similar to the OP and I have advised her to seek out chemistry above all else but to realise that she could hurt someone if there is little chemistry on her part. She is on her second round off going out with those she would previously not give a second glance to see if chemistry can in fact develop after quitting the 'hench, hott crowd' due to finding too much arrogance and flippance therein. She seems happy enough. She just wants someone real. Well, she wants the ease, laughter and closeness she has grown up seeing within her own relationship.

 

Hope it works out OP.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[irc333]

I am definitely one of the people who seeks "high level attraction" right out the gate... And if it's not there, I bail.

 

Yeah, I usually tend to avoid women that have this "there must be an immediate spark or I don't want to see him again"

 

I was quite baffled that my recent date did all this flirting and everything with me on the date, and then agree to going out again only to avoid my calls until she finally returned my text 4 days later saying, "Sorry, there wasn't a spark, but I had a great date!"

 

I almost said, "Hope you enjoyed your free movie" because she was a movie buff.LOL

 

These are the kinds of people that don't even give it a chance to cultivate or don't even allow for a "getting to know you process".

 

These kinds of relationships usually end as quickly as they begin.

 

it's not always important to have someone that melts your panties every time you look at them.

 

Right, I get a kick out of these 40-something women who have "I'm looking for my knight in shining armor!" in their profile or their profile is overly romanticized.

[irc333]

Just read the title:

 

How to Develop Sexual and Romantic Attraction to People Who Are Good for You

 

Um, if they are "good" for you, then why would you need to develop the attraction? I don't see the point.

[Emilia]

These guys couldn't help but try and push boundaries... so out they went. I guess they assumed they were going to lock me in emotionally?? while they sort out their feelings (or lack of) in their own space and time? Um no. Not happnin'

I would say though that you want to be careful with this. Some men - especially when they have known you for a while in a platonic way - push those boundaries because they want to know that you feel attraction for them. Especially those who have female friends and have experience of being in the friendzone. It's not always about trying to get something out of you, it's sometimes wanting to make sure that you are on the same page, especially when they like you.

 

Just my 2 cents.

[Gottabestrong]

I'm curious what you all think about the article, in particular, whether you can grow mid-range attraction into something much deeper. Personal experiences would be great.

 

I agree with the article, and when I look back at my long-term relationships, the ones that did not start all hot and heavy, but where I liked the guy but was not sure I was that into him, are the ones that lasted the longest.

 

One example, I met a guy and the first moment I saw him I did not think he was attractive at all, more a bit on the ugly side. But we hung out in group settings and over time I started to like him more and more and even feel a strong attraction to him. We ended up staying together for 3 years and even got engaged. To this day thinking back ours was probably the hottest sex I ever had. (Don't tell my current boyfriend!)

 

Another guy I dated and though I thought he was nice and I enjoyed being around him, I just did not think the 'spark' was there, so I asked him to be friends for now and he agreed. We hung out as friends for a few months and I cared about him more and more and also started feeling very attracted to him. I finally mustered up the courage to kiss him 2 months in on a drunken night and we never looked back. Dated for a few years and so far he has probably been the 'love of my life'.

 

So yeah, my answer to your question would be that attraction can definitely build and you can develop very strong and passionate feelings for a guy, even if you were not that attracted to him in the beginning.

[irc333]

But we hung out in group settings and over time I started to like him more and more and even feel a strong attraction to him

 

INteresting, most situations such as this one, the guy wound up in the friendzone.

[fanine]

Every long term relationship I have had has been with men I knew through friends or work. I guess it gave me a chance to see what these guys were like before getting involved, then something would spark an interest and then we would get together. It was all quite relaxed and no pressure, it just kind of happened.

Personally I find the whole going on a date with someone I don't know far more awkward. Expectations etc...

[RedRobin]

Don't yell at me now, you!.....but could it be this type of scenario?

 

OK..So you say the guys you were hot for, never materialized into real R's..Fine..Could it be that you felt insecure about this hot guy? Like maybe you felt intimidated, or that he might cheat on you, so rather than deal with that, you wind up "settling" for the less attractive guy who is less threatening? And by doing so, you regain control?

 

Again, dont taze me, woman! Im just raising an issue here that can have actual merit and one which I have experienced in the past..

 

TFY

 

I just checked... Wonder Woman's arsenal doesn't include tazers, so you are safe... ha ha

 

To your point... I thought about that... There were a couple of times when I ditched guys prematurely that I was super attracted to... but they weren't being disrespectful. They were exercising discretion and patience. Yea, a couple of good ones got away in the early days after my divorce due to my insecurity.

 

The ones I'm talking about are the ones who need to float things based on lust and passion... If I think we have enough mutual interests and enjoy his company, I'll continue to see them... however, their true selves slip through soon enough... Usually quite soon. One just has to be calm and not get swept away with the 'romance'.

 

They didn't turn into 'relationships' because they were liars and manipulative.

 

I have no intention of allowing myself to be segued into so called relationship-land by being obliged to navigate through the FB, FWB, 'lover', multi-dater terrain that people with this MO prefer.

 

... and note to the ladies... if this is the terrain you chart, you can't blame men who also oblige you to swim that same course. I won't do it. Mostly because I don't think these guys are any prize and wouldn't be faithful. Not worth it.

 

Edited: and I believe that in the future I won't even give the above guys I mentioned a chance if he has to whip out a dictionary to describe his relationship style, goals, or history. I was confused before, being rather unschooled in the 'lingo' of commitmentphobes... I'm not confused anymore.

Edited August 30, 2013 by RedRobin

[Mrlonelyone]

I would say though that you want to be careful with this. Some men - especially when they have known you for a while in a platonic way - push those boundaries because they want to know that you feel attraction for them. Especially those who have female friends and have experience of being in the friendzone. It's not always about trying to get something out of you, it's sometimes wanting to make sure that you are on the same page, especially when they like you.

 

Just my 2 cents.

 

I second this RedRobin. If you want a man who wants more than sex then being there for you when sex isn't on the table is one good way to test that. Finding a guy who make you down to ____ almost right a way then sexing him, then trying to test to see if he's only after sex is not really the most efficient of your time and energy.

 

Make them wait a few months, make yourself wait a few months too*, the right one will understand and stick around to see what develops.

 

INteresting, most situations such as this one, the guy wound up in the friendzone.

If he timed his advances properly with respect to woman's feelings, he would not.

 

I agree with dadslasagne.

 

Body language is the key. Watch what the woman does and does not do. Those mean more than the words coming out of their mouths. (Ladies the same applies to men. Watch how he acts not what he says.) If your female friend is being flirtatious flirt back. If she takes you out one on one and takes you home push to get into bed with her. A relationship can come on gradually just as they can end gradually. It is often quite nice when it happens that way as the foundations are more solidified, and crystalized.

 

 

*No FWB's to satisfy you while he waits. If you must do that, make sure to be very discrete. Nothing hurts a man more than being made to wait by a woman, wine, dine, and waiting, then she's having sex with someone else. That is the quickest way to get the boot from a good guy.

[Mrlonelyone]

Thanks for that, I was wondering how to term the fact that some people really aren't relationship material, no matter how the relationship begins. Identifying who you are in the first instance is most important, otherwise it is feel good advice.

 

Many never do this and try to fit themselves into something they cannot manage then find themselves always looking for a better life elsewhere, often with a partner and even children in tow.

 

My youngest is going through something similar to the OP and I have advised her to seek out chemistry above all else but to realise that she could hurt someone if there is little chemistry on her part. She is on her second round off going out with those she would previously not give a second glance to see if chemistry can in fact develop after quitting the 'hench, hott crowd' due to finding too much arrogance and flippance therein. She seems happy enough. She just wants someone real. Well, she wants the ease, laughter and closeness she has grown up seeing within her own relationship.

 

Hope it works out OP.

 

Take care,

Eve x

 

Eve it sounds like like many young women she's simply maturing from thinking that only the loud flashy douche can be hot to realizing that chemistry can come from a guy who isn't as loud.

 

Sometimes attraction can simply be a function of making the loudest noise. The sequeaky hinge getting greased and all that.

[RedRobin]

I second this RedRobin. If you want a man who wants more than sex then being there for you when sex isn't on the table is one good way to test that. Finding a guy who make you down to ____ almost right a way then sexing him, then trying to test to see if he's only after sex is not really the most efficient of your time and energy.

 

Make them wait a few months, make yourself wait a few months too*, the right one will understand and stick around to see what develops.

 

*No FWB's to satisfy you while he waits. If you must do that, make sure to be very discrete. Nothing hurts a man more than being made to wait by a woman, wine, dine, and waiting, then she's having sex with someone else. That is the quickest way to get the boot from a good guy.

 

I agree with the first... the guys I'm talking about are ones who are trying to sex me up ASAP. I do try to get to know them. They end up either trying to make me a FWB while they continue to scope the terrain (and TELL me they want a relationship with me....ya right), or have some other deal going on in the background while getting to know me (ie, they are the ones with the FWB.... not me. I don't do FWB).

 

I have no idea if a so-called 'relationship' would develop because I dump them as soon as I unearth their so-called 'relationship' style... These guys don't care about me. They just see me as a challenge to try and wear down.

 

In the past, I've tried to give a couple of them the benefit of the doubt because my friends called them 'nice' guys or they seemed nice enough in the beginning. What I learned is that other men don't have a f*cking clue what makes a 'nice' or a good man.... or if they do... it's against some unwritten 'guy code' to tell you the guy is a tool. Not to mention that there are plenty of men who are great guy-buddies but be total jerks with women.

 

I'm usually good about checking things out for myself... no matter what I've heard about the person though. So no worries.

 

... anyway, this thread isn't about me. If it helps Star for me to open up about my experience, then fine. Otherwise, it is probably best to get back to the topic...

Edited August 30, 2013 by RedRobin

[thefooloftheyear]

I just checked... Wonder Woman's arsenal doesn't include tazers, so you are safe... ha ha

 

To your point... I thought about that... There were a couple of times when I ditched guys prematurely that I was super attracted to... but they weren't being disrespectful. They were exercising discretion and patience. Yea, a couple of good ones got away in the early days after my divorce due to my insecurity.

 

The ones I'm talking about are the ones who need to float things based on lust and passion... If I think we have enough mutual interests and enjoy his company, I'll continue to see them... however, their true selves slip through soon enough... Usually quite soon. One just has to be calm and not get swept away with the 'romance'.

 

They didn't turn into 'relationships' because they were liars and manipulative.

 

I have no intention of allowing myself to be segued into so called relationship-land by being obliged to navigate through the FB, FWB, 'lover', multi-dater terrain that people with this MO prefer.

 

... and note to the ladies... if this is the terrain you chart, you can't blame men who also oblige you to swim that same course. I won't do it. Mostly because I don't think these guys are any prize and wouldn't be faithful. Not worth it.

 

Edited: and I believe that in the future I won't even give the above guys I mentioned a chance if he has to whip out a dictionary to describe his relationship style, goals, or history. I was confused before, being rather unschooled in the 'lingo' of commitmentphobes... I'm not confused anymore.

 

Whew...thanks!...

 

OK..I see your point, I suppose...

 

I guess, what I am gleaning from some of these responses is that all men that are, what you(not necessarily you or anyone), deem to be sexually attractive are immediately getting dismissed as douchebags and players, no? I mean, why wouldnt you want "it all"?? If the guy had all the attributes you desire, and made you wet every time you saw him(excuse the crudeness), why wouldnt that be better than the average looking guy who had the same qualities?

 

Correct me if I am wrong here.....

 

I have run into many attractive women that had average to ugly looking bf's...This may or may not be the case, but quite frankly I think some good looking men probably drive some women nuts..They cant handle all the attention the guy gets, even if he isnt acting on it...Its much more "comforting" to them to know that just about every woman on the street isn't eyeing up their guy. Its no different for guys..If we have a really hot gf/wife, we might not be so thrilled with guys hounding her every where she goes..

 

"shrug"

 

Have a good weekend, RED ROBIN!!

 

TFY

[Mrlonelyone]

I agree with the first... the guys I'm talking about are ones who are trying to sex me up ASAP. I do try to get to know them. They end up either trying to make me a FWB while they continue to scope the terrain (and TELL me they want a relationship with me....ya right), or have some other deal going on in the background while getting to know me (ie, they are the ones with the FWB.... not me. I don't do FWB).

 

I have no idea if a so-called 'relationship' would develop because I dump them as soon as I unearth their so-called 'relationship' style... These guys don't care about me. They just see me as a challenge to try and wear down.

 

True that. They just want to plant their flag.

 

 

In the past, I've tried to give a couple of them the benefit of the doubt because my friends called them 'nice' guys or they seemed nice enough in the beginning. What I learned is that other men don't have a f*cking clue what makes a 'nice' or a good man.... or if they do... it's against some unwritten 'guy code' to tell you the guy is a tool. He can be a great guy-buddy but be total jerks with women.

 

...and vice versa. That is why men can't understand that a woman can be with a guy they think is a jerk and think he's a great sweet guy. Having had dating experiences from a socially female perspective myself, I know just what you mean. Many men treat women much different than they treat men.

 

The problem with the friends first approach is that the well has been poisoned by all the women who use "be friends" as a way of telling people they want them totally out of their lives. Many men have had the experience of having a woman say "lets be friends", then when you propose that you hang out as friends do they act like it's strange.

 

When you propose to these guys that you could just be friends for a while. Try proposing a friendly outing to go do something. While maintaining the friends boundaries hang out with him and some of his friends or your friends. Make a real friend out of him and see if he sticks around.

 

 

I'm usually good about checking things out for myself... no matter what I've heard about the person though. So no worries.

 

... anyway, this thread isn't about me. If it helps Star for me to open up about my experience, then fine. Otherwise, it is probably best to get back to the topic...

 

I was just using you to illustrate a point. So in that way I'm just like so many other males eh. Lol.

[Imajerk17]

Interesting thread.

 

I do think the author of that article makes an interesting point--seems to me that it is that we feel a moderate level of attraction with people good for us (because we are drawn to their positive qualities) but that when we feel a very powerful immediate attraction, it is usually for someone who is bad for us (because there is something about them that reminds us of someone who hurt us in the past and our subconscious wants to remedy that).

 

I've lived it. I've had the cute girl who was into me but "something was missing". I've also been painfully attracted to girls who weren't into me. Usually it was that they had a quality that I wish I had but did not. An example was this one girl who loved to party. She was always popular growing up and who was really really cute. I felt really off-balance during our date because I was socially awkward growing up and I guess on some level that still pained me even though I thought I was well past it.

 

Now SG, my understanding is that you meet most guys online, where they start out as a 2D profile. What makes you write a guy back from OLD, and when on the date do you really start feeling it for him? You have posted threads about guys but in several cases they didn't become unavailable until well after you posted the thread.

[RedRobin]

I guess, what I am gleaning from some of these responses is that all men that are, what you(not necessarily you or anyone), deem to be sexually attractive are immediately getting dismissed as douchebags and players, no? I mean, why wouldnt you want "it all"?? If the guy had all the attributes you desire, and made you wet every time you saw him(excuse the crudeness), why wouldnt that be better than the average looking guy who had the same qualities?

 

Correct me if I am wrong here.....

 

I have run into many attractive women that had average to ugly looking bf's...This may or may not be the case, but quite frankly I think some good looking men probably drive some women nuts..They cant handle all the attention the guy gets, even if he isnt acting on it...Its much more "comforting" to them to know that just about every woman on the street isn't eyeing up their guy. Its no different for guys..If we have a really hot gf/wife, we might not be so thrilled with guys hounding her every where she goes..

 

"shrug"

 

TFY

 

It can take quite awhile to determine if he's the type of guy who will act on that attention or not.

 

I'd argue that you can't assume that a good looking guy will necessarily act on things either... It is the ones who get unreasonable validation from that attention you have to worry about...

 

Could be the guy who never got much when he was younger, now feels he's 'due'... Could be the guy who enters a stage of his life or obtains a position of power/authority who suddenly finds himself to be the center of attention. Could be lots of things.

 

There was a guy I dated for awhile from work. Well, dated is a stretch. We spent some time getting to know each other. He was absolutely stunning, but that isn't why I was interested in him. He just had a kind look to him. Friendly eyes. I heard he had a farm and loved animals.

 

Under other circumstances, I probably wouldn't have given him a chance. He was just too pretty. Whenever his name came up in conversation (not from me), women would just gasp and get all doe-eyed.

 

That never happened to me. I was always more interested in what was going on underneath. I cut it off with him when I found out he was pursuing me before his divorce was finalized, and he made the mistake of pointing me out to a group of his guy buddies at the cafeteria table at lunch. Big mistake.

 

Also, and I also knew I was a couple of years older than him. I got to know him well enough to know that he cared very much about 'appearances', and he'd never commit to someone who didn't fit a certain mold or stereotype... not to mention, someone who wouldn't tolerate his crazy work schedule (which was why he was divorced in the first place).

 

So no... some women are quite able to look past the outsides to get to know a man... and don't assume that the 'average' looking guy that a woman is with is making her panties any less wet than Joe Six Pack (Abs).

[fortyninethousand322]

The woman I "dated" (and whom I'm still not over despite 3+ years of no contact) in college was not the "hottest" or most aesthetically good looking woman I have ever met or tried to date. She didn't dress in fancy clothes (pretty much some variation of jeans, sketchers, and varying tops) and didn't wear much makeup. And yet, there was something about her personality, her humor, her laugh, the way she handled herself that just made her sexy to me. And not just sexy, but the most sexy woman I've come across.

 

Before I knew her, my initial thought was that she was cute but not gorgeous. Obviously that changed.