blazerrr Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 (edited) OK, long-story short. I was together with my ex gf for 4 years straight. Suddenly, out of the blue she started to ignore me and told me that she was unhappy in our relationship (I know why she was). Right after that she got a rebound (still together with rebound). She told me to "**** off" (give space I guess), but I kept begging. This pushed her even more away from me. I stopped begging after 2 weeks and asked her "Do I have chance to get you back". She said, that "sure we will get back together soon, but you have to SHOW ME that you are changed". I quickly got a new job, went to gym and right now I'm about to get my very first apartment. Right after 2 weeks of hard improving (I'm still far away from perfect, it probably takes months before I'm alpha again) she contacted me and wanted to meet. I met her, give her gifts and she enjoyed my company. She told me that I'm getting better and soon we will be together again. However, I told that I'm enough of this talk and I wont talk to her before she dumps her rebound. I'm not willing to be a "middleman" while she is in another relationship. She cried about it etc, but I didn't change my mind and went into NC. Right after 3 days of NC she started to send me breadcumbs - I didn't answer Right after 6 days of NC she started to talk to me, but I ignored. She wrote me a lot of stuff and the final words were: "I can't live without you, I want you back". Fine enough, I thought SHE is serious about it and she wanted to meet me. We met, we were together for 2 days and I saw she was happy. We enjoyed our time etc, but I still didn't HEAR anything about reconcidelation. In fact, she was STILL together with her rebound and she was still not admitting love to me. Although, the entire 2 days we (she more) talked about our future -babies, marriage etc. She event sent me links for apartments where she would like to live with me. This was pretty awkward since we didn't kiss, had sex or anything. We were more like friends, but the she was really giving me some hope. However, when we split (after being 2 days together) I told her that I don't feel comfortable doing this anymore. I don't have the "feeling" which I would like to have since we are not together and she is having rebound. Right after I had drop her home, she started to call me etc, said that "YOU JUST HAVE TO SHOW ME THAT YOU ARE CHANGED, AND YOU ARE MINE". I told that I'll start showing you the new "me" when you are not in a relationship with anybody else. I wished her good luck and went away. I'm pretty sick of it, I feel like I'm back in day 1. I have been in NC for 4 days now, she only sent me some random picture on day 2, but nothing serious. What should I do with this girl? I have no clue what is going on in her mind. In some days she is completely crazy about me - send several text messages + calls. Then she is cold as ice like 4 days in a row (probably having fun with his rebound at this time). And then again, all over me. I'm feeling extremely depressed. I guess I should NC for way much longer. What are your thought about this? How am I doing? P.S: I can't go into FULL NC since I'll be seeing her in the uni. Edited August 29, 2013 by blazerrr
Philosoraptor Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 I'm sorry but you invited this kind of behavior. She is with someone else and keeping you as her backup option in case things don't work out. If she wanted to be with you, she'd be with you. Seems like she misses the familiarity you offer and wants to make sure she doesn't lose that. You may not be able to do full NC, but you should make as little contact as possible. Unless she is there in person, you have no reason to interact with her at all. Imagine responding to her lovey texts while she is in bed with this other man. Who knows how many times you have done that already? Stick to NC and block her number.
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