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Posted

My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 and a half years, and have lived together pretty much the entire time. We are very happy together in most aspects, except that we dont seem able to sleep in the same bed...

:(

He snores like a freight train, and i am a very light sleeper. Its not a good combination!!

It looks like we might have to sort out separate sleeping arrangements, but that kind of makes me sad... what are peoples thoughts on couples sleeping separately? Is it a bad sign, that we cant even sleep in the same room? Or just a practical solution to a problem?

Thanks

Posted

It doesn't sound like a good sign to me. I gather that some couples do this and are still together, though.

 

Are there any other options you could try? I was with a snorer for a long while and eventually found some earplugs that were comfortable enough to let me sleep. Perhaps talk to your bf about why he snores and see if he can talk to his doctor about it, because sometimes it's fixable.

 

Good luck!

Posted

always on his couch, up early to watch TV, I was happy, snoring is gross

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Posted

Your story begs the question of has your husband sought medical evaluation as to his snoring? Loud snoring is not a normal situation.

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Posted
Your story begs the question of has your husband sought medical evaluation as to his snoring? Loud snoring is not a normal situation.

 

 

Agree with Balzac. Has he been to a doc about the snoring? There are many things that can cause this and much that can be done. My husband snores like mad. But, now uses these little strips on his nose. Needless to say, peaceful nights have now returned. Medical checkup would be my first choice. Good luck.

 

Mea :-)

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Posted

As stated above, he should probably see a doctor about his snoring.

 

But, in regards to your relationship, it's completely normal. I know a few couples, such as my parents, who sleep in separate beds.... and they still put up with each other ;).

Posted

From what I've heard, a R can be sustained with separate sleeping if both partners make time to have intimacy (both sexual and non-sexual) before going to their separate beds. If you're just watching TV at night and then heading straight to individual beds, probably not a good idea.

Posted

Yes I have seen this and it isn't a problem. In fact I always think it sounds genius, since I'm a light sleeper and sharing beds worsens my already bad sleep, my work sometimes means very late nights, and I have a persistent problem with inexplicable hot flushes when in bed that another person under the sheets can turn into an unbearable furnace. If I ever have someone move in I'll definitely push for separate beds.

  • Like 1
Posted
From what I've heard, a R can be sustained with separate sleeping if both partners make time to have intimacy (both sexual and non-sexual) before going to their separate beds. If you're just watching TV at night and then heading straight to individual beds, probably not a good idea.

 

 

this^^^

 

I dont think its fair to call someone "gross" because they snore...It could be due to a medical condition or some other physiological situation..Its part of being a loving couple...Its learning how to deal with these things as they arise..

 

TFY

Posted

Sleep apnea can kill. He needs to be evaluated. Lack of sleep won't make you very pleasant to be around either. Have sex and then go into another room. I used to have sex with my guy, then we'd both fall asleep only to have me awaken shortly thereafter because of his loud snoring. I went into the guest room and slept soundly until morning. He was asleep so he didn't know who was in bed with him or not!

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Posted

Sleep is extremely important to me. I am very sensitive to sleep deprivation. If I don't get adequate sleep, it can affect my ability to have a relationship.

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Posted

Marriages can and do survive separate sleep quarters. My husband and I have been married 30 years and have not slept in the same room for the past 15 years. (snoring). We meet up twice a week and then on to our restful evenngs.

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