mimi23 Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 Hi, I've been in a relationship with this guy for two months. He's awesome and we are good together. He however has a dark past. His past serious relationships have ended with him being cheated on. He says he is over it but I always sense resentment when he is talking about his ex. Now I feel like he wiil never trully trust me because of her. I go out sometimes with my girlfriends and guy friends and he never has problem with it because I always inform him about it. But last friday, he asked me if I planned to go out and I told him no because I did'nt plan to. Later however a guy friend I had'nt seen for a while convinced me to and came and picked me up quite late. (I did'nt text my boyfriend because I knew he was asleep then and I would explain the following day) This guy friend, we've been friends for years, we respect each other and he even has a wife & kid. Concidentally the bar we went to had one of my boyfriend's good lady friend (who we'd met once) as our atttending waitress. She did'nt recognize me. I told my guy friend and he told me to re-introduce myself to her so that it would'nt raise any suspicion if we'd meet later in my boyfriend's presence. So I did.. We hang out and talked,had a couple of drinks..and we left later. Absolutely nothing happened between us. The following day I met my boyfriend, we had planned the night out. I found him drunk and he was unusually cynical towards me. I was already getting mad 'cause if it. And then he mentioned her in an unrelated conversation and I explained that I had met her the night before. Thats when he blew up on me! Told me she said I was drunk, misbehaving and touchy touchy with the guy. I was appalled and I asked him who he believed. He said he had been in the same situation with his ex and she actually was cheating on him so he would'nt know what to believe. I was offended and left and he begged me to stay. I admitted that my mistake was not communicating and he asked me to forget about the whole thing. We had fun that night. The following day he started picking on me about it saying he could'nt believe I threatened to leave yet he was innocent in the whole affair. He said I never make an effort to work it out when we have problems, which is true I guess. I told him it seemed like a losing battle because he did'nt have much faith in me. After that we were fine. Telling my friends later about the whole thing they all concluded that that lady friend of his obviously had a thing for him and I told him the same. He got defensive ànd said that if he was'nt there then he would never know the real truth. I was angry because he did'nt: 1. Believe me 2. Want to dig to find out the real truth of that matter, If she was lying or not. He started mentioning his ex..rumbling stuff about her. I did'nt want to fight about it further so I said good night. That night for the first time he did'nt even touch me. The following morning he was just being mean and critical to anything I would say, picking on my flaws..which was just hurtful and belittling. Showed absolutely no affection. I said nothing about it. Now he is just acting like everything is ok and I know that its not! What do I do about it? Its driving me crazy not knwing whats going on in his mind..and If I bring it up again I know he is going to flip 'cause he does'nt like me insisting on stuff:/
Philosoraptor Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 What you can do is run before you get too invested in this guy. There is nothing you can do to remedy this situation, as he is punishing you for mistakes his ex's have made. He is unable to give you a clean slate so you will fighting an uphill battle here. Punishing you for his ex's mistakes + angry outbursts + inability to work issues out = a painful relationship. Be thankful you're only 2 months into this and run before you get more invested.
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