Still Accepting Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 Long story short: I am in the middle of divorce with my STBX after being married 20+ years. Two years ago I discovered he had been having an affair (for the second time) for a year!! I was floored especially because during this year I had a baby. I knew something was wrong but thought it might be stress of how our lives were just about to change. At first we tried but it was so hard so he moved out, but we continued to work on it. For the last two years (until the end of last year) he has constantly tried to convince me he loves me despite going back to her several times! I was played for a fool for three whole years! Towards the end of last year we decided to divorce or rather I did. Then he told me he was back with her and all of a sudden he's all "Don't speak like that about her"! Anyway she moved in with him three months ago and now I learn (from my three year old) that she's pregnant. "Mummy I'm going to have a baby brother or sister" Well how about that. I can't help it, I'm raging. How am I supposed to just shrug this off!?
darkmoon Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 (edited) no shrugging, but get a social life going, you seem consumed atmo, tbh undignified, only vent here on Loveshack instead, it's all anonymous hold your head up when around them, please Edited August 29, 2013 by darkmoon 2
Author Still Accepting Posted August 29, 2013 Author Posted August 29, 2013 I have been trying, I just feel at every turn of progress I make he brings something else that pushes me back. We're not even divorced yet! I can't help it and its made worse every time I see him and he looks so relaxed. I want to move on I really do. How can I do so quicker?
darkmoon Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 (edited) he pushes you back? so do not let him mess with your mind I have a friend who never responds if she does not like anybodys' convo, she ignores them, I know somebody else who does the same, they both mean it, btw see? this tactic is do-able, x 2, so practise Edited August 29, 2013 by darkmoon
Moniq Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 Im looking for the same answer, as to how to move on quicker. I have not found it. I am sorry for what you are going thru. I read somewhere that when you start thinking of the 'situation' force yourself to stop. There is no sense in worrying about something you cant control. Im taking everything day by day. I have no choice. 1
Balzac Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 You apparently married very young to have been in it 20 years and recently had a baby. I think it's often more difficult to disengage when a married couple essentially grew up together. I mean think of it as what adult history do you have that doesn't include your stbexH?
jennysimpson Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 There is no easy way on moving on specially if you really loved a person, I think it would be best for you to keep yourself busy on other things instead of thinking about him. Go out with your friends or family spend some quality time with our child, this will help you in a way.
73Fras Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 You apparently married very young to have been in it 20 years and recently had a baby. I think it's often more difficult to disengage when a married couple essentially grew up together. I mean think of it as what adult history do you have that doesn't include your stbexH? I am living this.. Been married 22 years next week, but have known him since I was 9 years ago.... Been separated for 13 months now.. There isn't history without him....
RonaldS Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 As with anything in life that is valuable, authentic and beneficial, there's rarely a quick fix. Accept the process...you'll be better off in the end. A little pain and heartache never killed anybody. Well, unless it drove them to kill themselves. So, just don't do that and you'll be fine...at some point.
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