Do you fully trust again in a new relaitionship after being cheated on by ex

[Heartbroken Eagle]

Hi again folks.

 

It's 6 months after my Break Up with ex Fiancee who cheated on me with a guy she met on an online dating site. Still angry and I guess hurt about it.

 

I only found out when I became suspicious about her behaviour and started checking her mobile phone and snooping in her handbag, both actions I am not proud of, but I did it because it was obvious that something was going on. I have never done anything like this before as I have always trusted my partners. I have subsequently learnt that she had lied on other issues over previous 12 years...

 

I'm worried now that if in the future I have a relationship, can I ever fully trust the partner again? If I start getting paranoid again, will I resort to do what I did, which is not healthy. Will I be mentally scarred and just simply do not trust another partner again hence no real relationship again?

 

Can anyone relate to this issue and advise on how they dealt with it. It is causing me some concerns and fear for the future.

 

Many thanks.

[Omei]

My answer is YES you CAN!!! It takes practice and time I was cheated on badly, my first bf of 5 years when I was 17 into my adulthood he webcammed with many girls, he kept secret numbers one day I found him in our apartment bed hiding a girl under the sheets a year later again her, even got into contact with a porn star a famous one on a reg basis no joke! I was hurt I worked on trust I got it back this is my motto that I used...

 

Give your partner 100% trust untill they break it do not hold your fear on them it will be a huge burden, do not force your partner to tell little white lies just to avoid how insecure you are. If they cheat its over you know your path you have a get out of the relationship free card you know the answer of everything you thought about the future you can be thankful you're not gonna waste anymore time.

 

I forgave my first over and over, it was stupid it left me hard to trust I used to repeat that to myself in my head EVERYDAY till it stuck, I am not afraid of being cheated on now In any relationship if it happens I KNOW the answer to all! Its over!!!

[Heartbroken Eagle]

Thanks for your words Omei... Your ex sounds like a complete s**t if you don't mind me saying.

 

I hope I can trust my future partner 100%. Unfortunately I feel I may have been too trusting with my ex and she took full advantage of me. She was a nasty piece of work though, hopefully there cannot be two like her on this planet.

 

I know I will be more cautious initially next time. I just don't want to go through this pain again.

[Omei]

Use the motto, its my own I created for myself, like I said it took a lot of time..but today I am good.