Thinking about the ex with another man

[L.D.702]

Hey I just can't stop thinking about my ex being with another man. Every time I think about it I just feel like going crazy. She blocked me from Insta Gram so I don't know what she's posting. She went to a water park today. The company that she works in closed down the park for all the associates. I'm so scared of the fact that someone else is holding her.

[BrokenHeartedSavior]

Let me say this as gently as possible. SHE IS WITH SOMEONE ELSE, HE'S HOLDING HER AND THEN SOME.

 

Now, what can you do about it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

 

Just like my ex, and every other guys ex on here. But ya know what? She's your EX.

 

To hell with her and STOP THE SELF INFLICTED TORTURE!! Sure, I think about my ex being with someone else from time to time, but I can tell you this- it fades, and eventually you'll not think of it with vividness. You just won't.

 

Ignore it in your mind, do not dwell on these thoughts. Not only are they pointless, but they'll eat you up alive.

 

She blocked you for a reason, now block her from your life and thoughts.

 

Sorry Man.

[L.D.702]

Let me say this as gently as possible. SHE IS WITH SOMEONE ELSE, HE'S HOLDING HER AND THEN SOME.

 

Now, what can you do about it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

 

Just like my ex, and every other guys ex on here. But ya know what? She's your EX.

 

To hell with her and STOP THE SELF INFLICTED TORTURE!! Sure, I think about my ex being with someone else from time to time, but I can tell you this- it fades, and eventually you'll not think of it with vividness. You just won't.

 

Ignore it in your mind, do not dwell on these thoughts. Not only are they pointless, but they'll eat you up alive.

 

She blocked you for a reason, now block her from your life and thoughts.

 

Sorry Man.

 

Hey man it's ok. It's just that she left me a week ago after 7 years and I feel like dying so I wont feel the pain.

[BrokenHeartedSavior]

I hope you realize my being harsh is out of understanding, right? I too had a long term (8 year) relationship that ended, and I initially obsessed about that crap as well.

 

Been there, done that, so to speak.

 

I can PPROMISE you that those hellish, obsessive thoughts will cloud. I realize your break is fresh, I have the LUXURY of mine having been over a year ago. And yep, it still has a hold on me, but NOTHING like in the beginning.

 

Stick around here, I have learned SO MUCH from great people here. People who understand EXACTLY the pain you're going through.

 

My advice- much like everyone elses is don't even try to cyber-spy for your own good. You probably won't like what you find if you weren't blocked.

 

Its a long healing/letting go process, especially after and long-term relationship like we have both had.

 

TIME is your best friend.

[L.D.702]

I hope you realize my being harsh is out of understanding, right? I too had a long term (8 year) relationship that ended, and I initially obsessed about that crap as well.

 

Been there, done that, so to speak.

 

I can PPROMISE you that those hellish, obsessive thoughts will cloud. I realize your break is fresh, I have the LUXURY of mine having been over a year ago. And yep, it still has a hold on me, but NOTHING like in the beginning.

 

Stick around here, I have learned SO MUCH from great people here. People who understand EXACTLY the pain you're going through.

 

My advice- much like everyone elses is don't even try to cyber-spy for your own good. You probably won't like what you find if you weren't blocked.

 

Its a long healing/letting go process, especially after and long-term relationship like we have both had.

 

TIME is your best friend.

 

Thanks man I just need someone who can relate to me right now. I also feel like I'm going to be a loner for the rest of my life since I have no friends and I just recently moved to this small town where there is no one around my age to hang around with.

 

Did you also feel like you were going to be alone forever?

[BrokenHeartedSavior]

I can TOTALLY relate to you. I'm YOU a year from now. But I do understand how you feel.

 

As far as friends go, I really only have one true "friend" who I can confide in, lots of people I'm "friendly" with.

 

Your feelings of being a loner, or being alone forever will pass! At the moment you lost more than a gf, you probably feel like you have lost your best friend as well. I know I did.

 

But remind yourself that all of this is temporary. Because it is.

 

I have already been with other women, all wonderful, however in my case I'm just not "there" yet. That too shall pass!

 

Hang in there, read others stories, and post your feelings. You'll find that over time you'll need to puke your guts out less and less. Slowly, but It'll happen.

 

I can gaurantee you you'll not be alone forever. Honestly? Being "alone" is exactly what you need right now- and will for a while as you sort out your emotions.

 

Hang in there man!

[L.D.702]

Thanks a lot. Your words helped me out to forget about the feeling. My ex was my only friend since I didn't hang around with anybody even before we met. And the thought of you getting over the break up is relieving since we almost share the same situation only yours is a year older.

[BrokenHeartedSavior]

You're welcome, we're all here to pull each other through. Yes, my ex was without a doubt my best friend too, and like you, I didn't really/ RARELY hang out with my friend. Its an adjustment in life because its familiarity, but nothing more.

 

And yes, I have the "luxury" of my break being over a year ago, but never saw myself where I am today. Not NEARLY as "damaged". You'd be surprised the magic that time can do! You'll get there.

 

I always wished there was some way to "fast forward" peoples minds, unfortunately it doesn't work that way.

 

Just hang in there pal, allow yourself time to grieve also, very important! Get it out! And slowly let it go.

[Soat]

Wow 7 years! That's marriage Practically. My best wishes, it must be very hard!

[L.D.702]

Wow 7 years! That's marriage Practically. My best wishes, it must be very hard!

 

Yes, right now it feels like I'm destined to be alone forever. We met when we were 16 and lived together for 3 years. I know she's going to be with someone else sooner than I expect but it just sucks thinking about someone you really cared about is enjoying themselves with another man.

[Waynester]

I was with my ex 12 years, married for 8 of them!

She cheated, & I never saw it coming.. The pain I had after the break was off the chart, & the worse part of it all was the 'being with another guy..thing'

 

Imagination is a powerful thing, & the worst of it is..you almost cannot control it! It imagines scenarios that will tear your heart out.. fill you with rage.. make you feel sick.. basically start to wear you down, destroying you bit by bit.

Dont do it, try to keep your mind away from the ex.. thoughts of her with other men.. doing things that only you should be doing is...soo destructive for you. No point to it.

 

Focus on other things, any hobbies, out with friends..anything basically. Keeping your mind busy limits & keeps the imaginative scenarios at bay. Most of them anyway.

 

These are bad days, no avoiding them, but...it will get better, i promise!

Its been 3 years since my split & I can honestly say..she (ex) does not bother me, nor enter my mind in any way..least of all negatively!

 

You can do it too!

[L.D.702]

I was with my ex 12 years, married for 8 of them!

She cheated, & I never saw it coming.. The pain I had after the break was off the chart, & the worse part of it all was the 'being with another guy..thing'

 

Imagination is a powerful thing, & the worst of it is..you almost cannot control it! It imagines scenarios that will tear your heart out.. fill you with rage.. make you feel sick.. basically start to wear you down, destroying you bit by bit.

Dont do it, try to keep your mind away from the ex.. thoughts of her with other men.. doing things that only you should be doing is...soo destructive for you. No point to it.

 

Focus on other things, any hobbies, out with friends..anything basically. Keeping your mind busy limits & keeps the imaginative scenarios at bay. Most of them anyway.

 

These are bad days, no avoiding them, but...it will get better, i promise!

Its been 3 years since my split & I can honestly say..she (ex) does not bother me, nor enter my mind in any way..least of all negatively!

 

You can do it too!

 

Damn I wish it was that easy right now, but I can't focus on anything right now because this damn town is so small. I just moved here so I have no friends and there's rarely anybody around my age. There's nothing here except the movie theaters and I've seen almost all the movies already by myself. I'm not working right now but I will be in a week. I just hope that I can get through this as fast as possible.

[Vinsanity1307]

Hey man I am going through the same thing....I was dumped out of no where after 5 years..Everything seemed to be great..Then a week later I show up at her house ya know begging and pleading and saw she was texting her ex friends with benefits/ex I dont know..The thoughts are unbearable how long since the breakup...I am almost at 7 weeks and the thoughts are still fresh unfortunately....

[L.D.702]

Hey man I am going through the same thing....I was dumped out of no where after 5 years..Everything seemed to be great..Then a week later I show up at her house ya know begging and pleading and saw she was texting her ex friends with benefits/ex I dont know..The thoughts are unbearable how long since the breakup...I am almost at 7 weeks and the thoughts are still fresh unfortunately....

 

I'm just a week from braking up after 7 years of going out and 3 of those years living together. We met when we were 16 and lost our virginity together.

[mridul_chajilee]

Bro,same here.We had 11years of relation and we broke it up 4years ago,but still i think that some one is holding her and i am gona mad thinking these.But now a days intensity of crazyness going down as it was before,i think GOD will help me one day to completely erase her thoughts from my mind.

[Vinsanity1307]

Ok I did this the first month or so.... Make a list of all the negative aspects of your ex...Then write them on sticky notes stick them everywhere throughout your apartment...EVERYWHERE.....That was one trick.....Another as for the negative thoughts put a rubber band on your wrist....Youll probably need to by a bag cause I keep breaking mine.... EVERYTIME you have a thought of your ex snap it on your wrist hard......I did one snap for just a general thought of her 2 snaps for any sexual thoughts I had of me and her 3 snaps for thoughts of your ex with someone else..You are teaching your brain pain negative thoughts equal pain...Try it...GL

[hopefulfaerie]

I had the same , am I going to be alone forever too. It sucks and it's scary!!

I recently moved from a big city to a small town in a new state.

I am so glad I did (love it here) but at the same time, I never thought I would meet someone I was so into and then have my heart ripped apart.

EVERYTHING reminds me of him because I have no other memories......yet.

I too feel lonely at times while I'm still adjusting to this new place.

 

I just saw a commercial for a movie clip and the guy was kissing and holding the woman and it made me sick!!!!!

I couldn't stop thinking, is that how he is holding someone else?!?!?!

UGH!!!! Now I can't get that image out of my head and I wasn't even expecting it.

They are becoming less and less though. At first I actuallyhad dreams of him making love to another woman. Not so much now. Thank god!!!

 

We are all here for you and it does pass. . Ever so slowly but still.

take care!!!

[L.D.702]

I feel really scared when I get those feelings. Thinking of her with some random guy, hell it might be with several guys, but just the thought of it makes me want to vomit.

[DmxDex]

Try going through with with a child. Got dumped in march she got new guy in 2 months i think still with him and serious.

 

Was together 5 years.

[hopefulfaerie]

I feel really scared when I get those feelings. Thinking of her with some random guy, hell it might be with several guys, but just the thought of it makes me want to vomit.

Oh I know! Me too and it's VERY SCARY!!!

I am going to try the rubber band idea. I have thoughts of him running his hands through another woman' s hair, him hugging her, even if he's holding someone else's hand.

makes me crazy!!!! And the sex thoughts!! Omg!! Those ate tje worst!! Makes me sick!!

 

The ONLY good feeling that comes with that for me, if you even want to call it good is it's never been so easy to stay thin (weak smile) I can eat whatever the hell I want and still lose weight. My appetite is gone and I love food! Not do much anymore. Can barely choke it down.

Good luck!!

[DmxDex]

The only way to deal with this is get to a point where your not thinking about it. Distraction.

 

4 weeks ago i had to find out from a friend that my ex was with a new bf and my daughter in town. I fell apart and told her told its ****ing wrong he shouldnt be near my child so early on.

 

4 weeks and my brain is giving me a break at the moment.

[reddragon588]

Just a suggestion on the rubber band. I would try to avoid it, as it is negative reinforcement. Try positive reinforcement, maybe something like every time you have an unwanted thought, closing your eyes and taking ten deep breaths. This will achieve the same result without the negative reinforcement of pain.

[clairedunham]

Yea I know how you feel. I cant stop thinking about my ex boyfriend with a certain person and its driving me nuts. Its actually better like this instead of thinking she aint gonna be with anybody and thinking she'll come back cause you are preparing yourself for the worst or what you think is the worst

[Cali408]

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through my friend. Realize this. She is not the only one. Second, getting back with her is not going to happen. Once you accept this 100%, you can move on. Third, she is doing you a HUGE favor blocking you on Instagram. Stay off social media sites. Go underground, don't stalk her. You are ripping open the scab of your heart over and over. No contact, no looking her up. When you find yourself day dreaming, tell yourself to stop.

 

Your ego is doing this to you. Don't let your ego run your life. Every day will get better. Your single, congratulations!

[L.D.702]

I try not thinking about it, but the thought just keeps on coming back. I try to cheer myself up by telling myself that I'm single, but I never wanted to be single in the first place. I don't know if I'm ever going to find a more prettier girl that loved me more than my ex.