swandive83 Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 He hardly ever posted pics while we were together, but ever since we broke up almost 2 months ago, he posts constantly, at first it was mostly of him and his family... and now with some beautiful girls. I don't know if he's dating any of them...but he sure does look happy...like insanely happy. I feel a little zombified right now, perhaps because i had a mini-meltdown only about 10 minutes before I decided to check his IG (I know I shouldn't be looking... I'm trying to stop). I really like that I feel numb though. Is this normal? I've usually been having panicked burning feelings when I see him with other girls (we work in the same office). But right now... nothing. Anyone else ever felt this? Does it stay this way? Does this mean I'm finally over him? I will jump for joy if it is.... it's been a torturous 2 months.
Riou Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 He hardly ever posted pics while we were together, but ever since we broke up almost 2 months ago, he posts constantly, at first it was mostly of him and his family... and now with some beautiful girls. I don't know if he's dating any of them...but he sure does look happy...like insanely happy. I feel a little zombified right now, perhaps because i had a mini-meltdown only about 10 minutes before I decided to check his IG (I know I shouldn't be looking... I'm trying to stop). I really like that I feel numb though. Is this normal? I've usually been having panicked burning feelings when I see him with other girls (we work in the same office). But right now... nothing. Anyone else ever felt this? Does it stay this way? Does this mean I'm finally over him? I will jump for joy if it is.... it's been a torturous 2 months. Social media is selective media,nothing else.It's unreal~ 2
CherryT Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 You'll be over him once you stop checking up on him. Social media is rarely about who a person is really, but what they want to be perceived as. I'd stop checking his social media sites and you'll start to get over him much quicker. 2
lop98 Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 When my ex started posting pictures of his hook-up, I'd feel that "nothing"... numb. It's like the moment right before checking (the seconds when it's loading) required so much adrenaline that once I saw what I was looking for, I could think with so much clarity and felt like I didn't care and was already getting over it. 8-10 hours later, it bothered me... then it'd made me sad... then I'd break down, sometimes even days later. Stop doing it. Block the URL on your computer, remove the app on your phone, add reminders not to check, just stay away from it. I did not start truly recovering until I stopped checking, and I stopped checking 3 months after BU!, I wasted all that time thinking on the reason why he was being like this, why would he post that, did he ever feel anything for me, does he love her... 8 months later, now in a healthy and loving relationship, not only NOTHING happened evidently (so keeping on snooping would've continued to be pointless) but I can see just what a great waste of my time that was, he wasn't worth any of that and nobody should ever waste time witnessing how someone else chooses to document their life... because that's what it is, a projection, you'll never know the real feelings behind it and the main reason for this is that your relationship with him is over. 1
Author swandive83 Posted August 29, 2013 Author Posted August 29, 2013 The thing is, I've tried to delete all my social media apps...but then I just download them again to check. It's ridiculous, I know. He deleted me right away from everything...so perhaps that's why he seems fine. lop98- Congrats on being in a healthy loving relationship! My relationship was so unhealthy...I don't even know why i check his sites. I wouldn't want to date someone like him ever again.
melell Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 I was lucky, even before finding this forum, just after the break up, I decided not to go on social media again. Was an excellent decision, ignorance is bliss. And now I am at the point where I really don't care, so I completely avoided any pain from that stuff. Don't do it to yourself!! I think I read one post about research regarding brain reactions to exes on social media, and it keeps the same brain function patterns going, so the response effects the love part of the brain, and the distress part. Problem being that the brain can be 'taught to function differently, or it changes with time, but if you keep the process going by looking at them it makes healing take longer.
darkmoon Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 any feelings of indifference? at work, yes! no now you're on your way, time you made some plans for when you finally arrive, girl
Waynester Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 Sorry..much the same advice as already posted.. but, he is doing this deliberately. He knows, or at least suspects you will check his various social media websites. He wants a reaction from you.. "look how well I am doing" "look how happy I am" Don't believe it! But whatever the truth, you must..& can move on. Definitely no contact! Distance yourself from everything that reminds or is connected to him. Not easy, I know.. but try. It will be for your good in the longer run. One day soon, when you're ready..but least expect it, a new guy will enter your life with everything your ex wasn't. And then you will rarely..almost never look back, because the future will be much more exciting! Keep the nc going.. you can do it. 2
hotpotato Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 (edited) Leave his fb alone. I wouldnt unfriend him, because he'll see that his plan is working-and that is to make you upset. Next time you see one his statuses, block it. Trust me, a lot of people who make themselves look happy on fb/twiter/etc are not. It's so easy to put up a front. I promise you he is trying to get some kind of reaction. My last ex did this. I told him I was 'stalking' his fb while we were together. After he dumped me, his changed his relationship status to 'in relationship' and started posting on this girl's wall. He had been friends with her a few weeks apparently. After 10 months he never posted on my wall and we never changed our status (didnt bother me as I mostly lurk on fb). Not long after that he liked his own relationship status (douchey!) which put it at the top of my feed. It did work-the girls ex went on her page and started begging for another chance. It looked very pathetic... People want to know you care even if you are not with them. So in short, *block his statuses from your newsfeed *dont go to his page Edited August 29, 2013 by hotpotato
hopefulfaerie Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 Listen to me!!!! DON'T CHECK AGAIN!! If you see him with another girl it is going to drive you nuts!!!! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF!!! I made the mistake of checking and he had her in his profile pic. It killed me!!! It's the most horrid pain you can ever imagine!! Even worse! I wish I could 'unsee' those pics! I know 'logically' everyone's life seems so happy and great on social media and is not real. But your brain won't see it that way and neither will your heart! They will both play tricksvon you. Please please don't look again! I would hate to think of someone else feeling the way I did! It's AWFUL!!! Take care and best of luck in your healing!
bubbaganoosh Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 An old saying. "Trying to make an impression is the impression that you make". In other words he's saying "Hey! Look at me! See what you had! You lost and blah, blah, blah. Take it with a grain of salt. It's his way to show you that life is good when in fact it might not be. Move on and be happy. 1
reddragon588 Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 Delete him. It took me 3 months to delete my ex, but the week since I did it I have made my farthest strides yet. It was incredibly hard, because it was basically the last link left between us. But the fact that link was there gave me a false sense of hope. Now that it's gone, I'm starting to face and accept the fact it's over. I know how hard it is to delete your ex, but it will help you so much.
Author swandive83 Posted August 29, 2013 Author Posted August 29, 2013 The worst thing is... HE deleted ME. He broke up with me then deleted me from all social media. It was traumatizing the way he did it. I think that's why it's so hard... If I'm completely honest with myself, I have to admit that I was blown away by the way this guy rejected me and never looked back. It's painful, and I even told him that at first and he was so cold towards me. So I guess I check his sites to get answers, to search for clues. I noticed he was talking a lot to one of my other co-workers ( I actually noticed this while we were together)... and the first time I saw them talking after we had broken up (which was only a week), I asked her if they were dating, she said no that she wasn't interested in him in that way...well, I think that may have sparked something else... or perhaps they were already planning something ... Anyway, she was right there next to him in the picture. I just can't believe it's been 2 months and I stilll feel this way? When is it going to be over? When will I not care anymore?
saltyfishhead666 Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 I have to agree. Delete him from facebook or delete your facebook totally It's hard, I did it last night and ended what said we were still engaged. I want to log in to see what he's doing but I won't. You need to be rid of anything to do with him. Until then what you see will only hurt you and make you feel this way. Don't torture yourself like that x
Neall Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 You will always care as long as you want and feel something for him, but i know 1 thing, and you know too. You don't want to feel sad right? Think about how sad you get when u try to check anything from him. My GF broke up too with me, and honestly i know one thing, i loved her and love with all my heart, but i know she doesn't, and i don't want to suffer anymore, so i don't check anything from her, ANYTHING, not her facebook, nothing. I love myself they way I am, i have people that love myself as I am, if she doesn't it's her option. You too have a option, choose the right one, choose not to suffer from somebody that doesn't derserve it...
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