AxiomP Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 Hello all. Just wanted to thank you for taking the time to read this, I will be brief. My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago, as she wanted me to follow her religion. I declined such a notion and left her apartment. Not sure if the break up was mutual, or more leaning on her end because of her request (this may help you to evaluate the next part of my thread). I was quite angry about this situation, but calmly and maturely walked away. I have shown nothing but compassion and love for her, and she (out of no where) put the focal point of our 3 year relationship into her Christian beliefs. She wanted a partner "that shares the same faith as I do", and unfortunately, I do not share that belief with her. After a mature email exchange a couple of days later, I decided to focus on LC, only keeping her in my social networks (facebook/linkedin). I did not sent one text or phone call, as I deleted her email and number immediately after the email exchange. Just a week ago, I decided I was over her, and went full NC, deleting her off of those social networks. I made no initiative to tell her I was doing this, nor do I care about her opinion in the matter. Out of the blue yesterday, she sends a package with what I believe is my stuff from her apartment that she kept (I must have forgotten I had stuff there). I did not open the package, so I have no clue what the contents were, nor do I care. I shipped the package right back to her, today. I guess I am confused as to why she did this. Is she mad that I completely dismissed her from my life? Does the package mean she's saying "I moved on too"? Is this her trying to pull a string she thinks she still has with me? Thank you for your time!
Riou Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 If you are over her,why would this bother you enough to start an account to ask here? You are caring about what she thinks. She could have done it for 2 reasons. 1. Trigger a response from you,eg. break NC to ask her/send the things back to her(see if you still care about what she does), 2. Granting your wish.You deleted her from everywhere so she grant your wish of a clean break by giving you back all the stuffs. 2
Author AxiomP Posted August 29, 2013 Author Posted August 29, 2013 Riou, thank you for your response! Subconsciously I may still care about her, which is why I may have created the account. Consciously, I am a very curious individual, which is why I found this website the most useful in soliciting this post. Both options seem just as viable. But to your #1, how am I breaking NC if I'm simply sending the stuff back without warning or verbal notice?
heartshaped Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 I think this is normal break up protocol actually. Either I return things that my exs have left at my house or I throw them away. I don't see why you would return them to her...they aren't her property and obviously she doesn't want them. 1
Riou Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 Riou, thank you for your response! Subconsciously I may still care about her, which is why I may have created the account. Consciously, I am a very curious individual, which is why I found this website the most useful in soliciting this post. Both options seem just as viable. But to your #1, how am I breaking NC if I'm simply sending the stuff back without warning or verbal notice? Maybe she just wants a response for her ego. Why would you send your stuffs back to her?
Author AxiomP Posted August 29, 2013 Author Posted August 29, 2013 I think this is normal break up protocol actually. Either I return things that my exs have left at my house or I throw them away. I don't see why you would return them to her...they aren't her property and obviously she doesn't want them. I would assume it's normal break up protocol, however, the time frame of two months, with only the past few days of going strict NC, seems too coincidental for anything standard. I would think it's "standard" immediately around the breakup, not coincidentally after going strict NC. I also stated that I "assumed" it was my stuff, I'm not sure what was in the box, as I did not open it. My initial feeling, was that she was trying to initiate a response from me, as her behavior has been immature from time to time. Thank you for your response!
Zahara Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 I think the mature thing to do would have been to open the box, identify if the objects were yours and if they were, do what you will and if they weren't, to pack it up and trash it. If anyone was immature, it was you. Just smells bitterness. I think you did it to provoke her and get a response. Who cares when she returned it. She returned it. Four days after NC, 1 year after the break-up. Who cares. You don't ping pong stuff because you're not agreeable to a supposed protocol.
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