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Posted (edited)

Got my kids things ready and packed for the zoo. Sat down to realize I missed him yet again. Instead of getting up idiot over here not only looked him on match.com (he hasn't used it) but it doesn't make me feel better

 

I also looked on facebook to see we are still "engaged"

 

I'm just going to have a shot of something strong and kick myself for looking.

 

What a silly ole me grrr :o

Edited by mummyjonno
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Posted

OTake matters into your own hands, and change your status on facebook. It took me over a month to work up the courage to do it (I kept thinking he "owed it" to me) and I thought I would break down and be an emotional wreck about it and instead... it's done. One more unpleasant thing, dealt with.

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Posted
OTake matters into your own hands, and change your status on facebook. It took me over a month to work up the courage to do it (I kept thinking he "owed it" to me) and I thought I would break down and be an emotional wreck about it and instead... it's done. One more unpleasant thing, dealt with.

 

I'm tempted however I can't stop the feeling of simply thinking "that's me throwing in the towel and being the bad guy" when he decided he didn't want me anymore.

 

Instead I just decided not to go on there. I don't use it, update it anything.

If he has thrown in the towel then I want to leave that one to him.

 

Silly huh?

Posted

I'm sorry. It's tough to let go but for now, you have no other choice. I deleted my FB altogether. I don't need that in my life at the moment. IF I were you, I would either not look anymore or I would delete my profile so you're not tempted to peak.

 

Personally, I've given up hoping for anything, I really just want out of the mess, I'm sure you do too by now.

 

Go have a drink and hang out with your friends! That always helps me! :)

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Posted

Just get rid of all your accounts, make a new one and start over.

 

Your just having a bad day, they will stop

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Posted

Yeah I know they will. I just need to say screw it i don't care if he thinks I quit. I know he will say something snarky like "you deleted me, you changed it to single, you deleted Facebook" what else am I supposed to think other than you quit.

 

I do need to delete it, I'm not strong enough to not peak clearly.

 

Guess I better message his daughter and let her know so she doesn't think I've just got rid of her x

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Posted

Also the issue is. If I delete Facebook, they don't actually delete it so I can log right back in and I'm back to this square again.

 

I wonder if there is some way to actually be rid completely

Posted

There must be, if not just deactivate and make a new one . People make too much out of fb.

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Posted

Yeah they do, I barely used it anyways so it serves no purpose to me.

 

I have found a link to delete it, they said its deactivated for 14 days then it'll be gone. Now to get through those 14 days without logging in.

 

I really shouldn't be allowed a laptop or a phone. I'm too nosy even if I know it will make things worse

Posted

Find a new guy to chat to or even just a friend, even if it's just over the Internet. It will take your mind off things and give you a better reason to go on your fb rather than snooping and feeling crap after

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Posted

Facebook is gone now, I've just woken up its morning here and I don't regret my decision I just somehow feel its the final bit, the nail in the relationship coffin.

 

But I do agree with what posters have said in the past. If someone is meant to be with me. They'll come and get me. If they don't well that's their loss.

 

I still feel extremely sad but I have a really busy day and I am determined not to think about it after writing this post.

 

Another man who make me look like I'd moved on (on Facebook) I had considered joining plenty of fish and just talking to people considering I have no interest in being with anyone new. However I don't think it's a good route not while things are so raw.

 

Xx

  • Like 1
Posted

Deleting facebook isn't putting a nail of finality into anything, it's breaking the chains, freeing you not to be a slave to nonesense.

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Posted

Lol yeah, it is that too now I look at it.

 

Thanks for that view, I prefer it to mine :)

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Posted

You're doing the right things.. its a process, not an easy one..but a necessary one.

You have to remove, clear any links to him. Anything like that will just make you think over & over about him.. all the memories. This will just hurt you & slow the healing process.

It really is like grieving for someone lost, because basically..you have. So like any loss you need to give yourself time to heal, & you will. :)

 

And when you're ready.. Mr Lovely will be waiting. But he is patient, so take your time. Get back in touch with YOU. Do the things you did before.. any hobbies.. develop your social life again with friends.

 

Would love to say everything will be ok from now on, but..you will have bad days. On those days, grab a mate & do something positive, or.. come here. There are lots here going through exactly the same. Just listening can do so much.

 

Good luck.

Posted

On pof you'll probably encounter many fakes or bellends but you may meet a few nice ones. Just try it, you got nothing to lose :)

Posted

I strongly believe people nowadays give social media way too much value. I'm so glad I never subscribed to it and neither do I intend to in the future as it will be one less thing to be concerned with. I commend you for getting rid of your account and I can only imagine how difficult it must be to stay off it as it's something that's always readily accessible. Albeit my ex does not subscribe to any social media apparatus she does have a business webpage that I'm always so tempted to see for updates. I'm of the opinion of what you don't know won't hurt. In other words your ex can very well be out dating, flirting, meeting new people or perhaps screwing other people as well, however, if you don't know this or care to inquire, it just won't bother you as there will be no way to confirm this and it will only be a fictitious thought generated in your head.

  • Like 2
Posted
Facebook is gone now, I've just woken up its morning here and I don't regret my decision I just somehow feel its the final bit, the nail in the relationship coffin.

 

But I do agree with what posters have said in the past. If someone is meant to be with me. They'll come and get me. If they don't well that's their loss.

 

I still feel extremely sad but I have a really busy day and I am determined not to think about it after writing this post.

 

Another man who make me look like I'd moved on (on Facebook) I had considered joining plenty of fish and just talking to people considering I have no interest in being with anyone new. However I don't think it's a good route not while things are so raw.

 

Xx

I'm so freaking proud of you!! Seriously!!I know you're still hurting and it's very tough. Hope is hard to let go, but you can't move on until you do. Yesterday I deleted the last piece of ex (pictures!). That was literally like putting a nail in the coffin. I also fell 100% free. Yes, I will probably run into her many times but the difference is I QUIT HER now! My terms and I have ZERO hope for reconciliation. For the first time I felt like saying "F@ck it!" let's move on with life. Enough is enough, right? There are way too many people on this beautiful earth to think that my ex was the only one. NO freaking way! Gotta be more out there!:)

 

Also remember, You're making the choice to move on, not him? You should feel empowered and better about yourself! Huge step in the right direction!

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
You're doing the right things.. its a process, not an easy one..but a necessary one.

You have to remove, clear any links to him. Anything like that will just make you think over & over about him.. all the memories. This will just hurt you & slow the healing process.

It really is like grieving for someone lost, because basically..you have. So like any loss you need to give yourself time to heal, & you will. :)

 

And when you're ready.. Mr Lovely will be waiting. But he is patient, so take your time. Get back in touch with YOU. Do the things you did before.. any hobbies.. develop your social life again with friends.

 

Would love to say everything will be ok from now on, but..you will have bad days. On those days, grab a mate & do something positive, or.. come here. There are lots here going through exactly the same. Just listening can do so much.

 

Good luck.

 

Thanks for this! It's just what I needed right now. Just got in from a very busy day at the zoo. Loads of walking, family, kids and ice cream!

 

I thought about him when I saw a car like his, when I saw the beer he likes advertised, when I had to skip our favorite songs on my ipod. Besides that it's been not too bad!

 

I've not logged back into facebook - mini victory for me and I have not checked to see if he's been using his match.com as I care, and if he has it'll hurt me more so I just won't look.

 

Busy day tomorrow school uniform shopping, having my nails done to pep me up!

 

No contact still, still that is better than breadcrumbs!

 

Hope everyone is well xxx

  • Author
Posted
I strongly believe people nowadays give social media way too much value. I'm so glad I never subscribed to it and neither do I intend to in the future as it will be one less thing to be concerned with. I commend you for getting rid of your account and I can only imagine how difficult it must be to stay off it as it's something that's always readily accessible. Albeit my ex does not subscribe to any social media apparatus she does have a business webpage that I'm always so tempted to see for updates. I'm of the opinion of what you don't know won't hurt. In other words your ex can very well be out dating, flirting, meeting new people or perhaps screwing other people as well, however, if you don't know this or care to inquire, it just won't bother you as there will be no way to confirm this and it will only be a fictitious thought generated in your head.

 

Thank you to the pair of you - just seen these after writing my most recent post. I do agree people put too much belief in facebook and other things these days. I remember someone saying once "once on facebook it's official" meaning relationships. If that were true then sod it I ended mine lastnight.

 

I also agree that if he is screwing someone else, dating whatever. I can't see it. If I can't see it I can only imagine and not confirm. I already thought that over the past few days and I'm still here and not crying in a corner so I'll let my mind say what it want's because I nor want nor care to know what he's actually doing.

 

Also thank you to the other guy (sorry couldn't quote you as I have no idea how to quote two people) I am beginning to see it your way. Although when I see things that remind me of him I get sadder and I wonder. Right now I feel strong and I am saying f@ck it too!

 

More power to us I say :)

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