Viro12 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 (edited) So I'm a 23 year old going into my 5th year in college. I was on my way to become a bum. After I failed at my high school relationship, I've quit the good school I got into and went up to Canada to attend a lesser college in reputation. During this time I've met a girl online for 2 years, she loved me and I loved her, we're long distance so I visited her back in June. We have had a lot of good memories together. She broke up with me 2 weeks ago because she realized things weren't working out, even if I moved in with her I would've been a burden to her with absolutely no working experience. It would've been difficult to find the entry job I want. I somehow gained the wrong attitude that expect work and life will come to me naturally. I did sulk for a few days, but then I realized this is the best thing that happened to me. She shook my world so hard that I was able to see things clearly and want to make something out of myself. Luckily I still have a year before I graduate to work on myself to prepare myself for job applications after graduation. I am very grateful to her. I have no expectations of getting her back because it would be a joke since issues aren't resolved, but I would like to try again with her when I feel I'm fully prepared and ready in foundation to start a relationship again. I also double confirmed with her that we still want to be friends and meet twice a month to update in our lives. As I understood she developed feelings for another guy at work because I neglected her and she just see no future between us. I understood, agree with her decision, and know that I may never get back with her again. We've always had a good connection and I can always make her laugh. The funny thing is after we broke up all of a sudden it feels like we're back to how we loved each other. The warmth, connection and the feeling are all there for both of us, I can see it in her eyes. My questions are: Do you think we have a chance of getting back when I'm ready in foundation again for a relationship? Do you think that she still carries feelings for me although she dumped me because it was it had to be done? What are the chances of us drifting away eventually? Edited August 28, 2013 by Viro12
melell Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 There is always a chance. BUT whatever you do now, do it for you. Anything you do to prepare yourself for a good relationship, remember it is so YOU can have a good relationship with whoever comes along. Not specifically her. Chances that you will drift apart are quite high, even with meeting up, because she may start investing her emotional self in someone else, you are not longer that person for her. Your post comes across as text book post break up stuff. You love the person, you hope for it to work out, you try and figure out the chances, try to think of how you can improve yourself/your situation, so that one day things will be ok. It is kind of like when a girl gets broken up with and goes straight into 'oh i'll lose heaps of weight, or get a degree then there is a chance'. Unfortunately, the reality is there is not really any way to cushion the hurt. And the only way you can move on, and feel better is by shifting your focus to you entirely. That is what letting go of hope is, and from what I see it is the key ingredient for surviving breakups.
Author Viro12 Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 Should I stop being friends and go NC completely?
melell Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I think you should go NC and go through the healing process. I think that this is the best possible thing you could do for yourself, you really need to take care of yourself in times like this. The future will always be there, but for that to be good, your focus needs to be on you.
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