MissNoname Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Im really sad. The guy Im dating and I had a talk and he said he doesn't want to put a label on "us". Im devastated because I thought after the first try, this time he knew what I was looking for. Ive known this guy for for 14 months. I dated him for 6 months, then I broke it off because he couldn't commit. He pursued me and asked to try it again. I gave it another chance. We've been dating for two months now. He asked me to be more patient but I've been patient and i cant be forever patient about it. In the eyes of other people we are a couple. We spend enough time together. We spend every weekend together. Ive met his close friends. We say I love you to each other. We are not seeing other people. We are clear that its cheating if we do so. So I don't understand. He said when he puts a label, the relationship f cks up thats why he doesn't like it. Then the talk turned into an argument. Him mostly the one talking why he cant commit to me because of what I did that he didn't like. Like how i left him because I didn't get what I wanted. That it was a form of control and if he was in a relationship with me, I would be controlling him. With all the things he said, it made me feel like Im a bad person to be in a relationship with. Then he wanted me to say something, I told him I said what I wanted to say and I don't have anything else to say. I could have said why I shouldn't be with him but I did not. I accepted him including his faults. Then he started saying how much he likes me and how much he's always looking forward to spending time with me. Then he wanted me to talk again. I told him he doesn't need to say or do things to make me feel better. He said he wasn't saying it out of pity. He said Im making him uncomfortable because I wasn't saying much. Im sad because I know its over. I don't think I want to see him again after this. I miss him but I know I need to be strong to not fall back to him again. I just need to hear thoughts from other people about it, it may help me feel better. Thanks in advance.
Balzac Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 It's seems you need more AND you don't trust him. You've made a decision 2X. 1
SubliminalSessions Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 How old is this guy? He doesn't want to put a label on it because it will f things up? That just reeks of immaturity and insecurity. I won't just assume right at this point that it's over, but now you have to do things that would happen to things that don't have labels. Just think, if someone finds cash, there's no label, it could belong to anyone...basically whoever finds it. Whereas a check, would probably have someone's name on it. I think you get the point...
darkmoon Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 (edited) just be nice to him, you are making a problem because of how you see things, you are overthinking, he says he loves you, well, either there is chemistry or there is none, some men do not like women controlling anything, bless 'em, just agree with him in future for a quieter better life Edited August 28, 2013 by darkmoon
Author MissNoname Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 How old is this guy? He doesn't want to put a label on it because it will f things up? That just reeks of immaturity and insecurity. I won't just assume right at this point that it's over, but now you have to do things that would happen to things that don't have labels. Just think, if someone finds cash, there's no label, it could belong to anyone...basically whoever finds it. Whereas a check, would probably have someone's name on it. I think you get the point... He is in his mid 30s. Actually, what he said was the opposite, that labels are for younger people. Not to brag but Im an attractive girl and he is just average. Sometimes when were out guys check me out and he would put his arms around me or hold my hand. He has mentioned before that he is lucky that Im with him bc other guys were looking at me. He is fun to be with and he makes me laugh that my feelings for him started to grow. Ive turned down all date invitations with other guys to be faithful to him.
Author MissNoname Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 It's seems you need more AND you don't trust him. You've made a decision 2X. Maybe you're right, I don't trust him. Maybe because he doesn't want to put a label on us.
waiting4u Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Don't waste your time with people who don't respect you. Maybe if you "disappear from his life" he will miss you and realize he wants you to be his girlfriend after all.
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