Its hard to know at this point

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Hey guys I'm new to this and I feel like I need some help but first let me give you a little back up information on how it all started I have known this girl for a little over 9 years I remember first seeing her in 5th grade when she was in 4th and I just thought to myself wow this girl is beautiful I wish I could be with her slowly but surely I added her on myspace because that used to be the thing back then we talked almost everyday afters school it was like we were bestfriends but I always wanted something more I would say we kept talking for about 3 more years until she started to get really interested in me but I felt like we were still to young and I wanted things to really last a long time because this girl was everything to me so I'd say 2 more years after that I was going into 10th grade and she was coming in as a freshman to a different high school I thought I should make a move now before its too late so the summer before she started highschool I finally came over her house and asked her if we could be together and it was just an amazing feeling from day one butterflies just everything you can think of so things went great because of the great connection and communication that we had slowly I began to make her my everything put her over my family and friends she was all I had she was my best friend and my girlfriend all in one and I didn't mind because I was so happy, so we started school it kind of sucked the first couple of months because we would only see eachother on wednesdays so I thought that if I stayed in that school it just wouldn't work so I decided to switch to her school it kind of shocked her at first because maybe she thought I was taking things to fast but I just felt like it was the right thing to do so it worked out throughout those highschool years there were up and downs everyone has them but at the end of the day we always came back to eachother because it just felt right well I can only speak for myself, between those highschool years there were a lot of ups and downs and trust issues she didn't want me to smoke weed and I wouldnt just sometimes she has a really low temper and everything that she doesn't like just pisses her off at times I could not stand her and we would hurt eachother physically and emotionally she knew how to push my buttons and I knew how to push hers she felt like I was always hiding something because I didn't let her see my phone at times I wasn't hiding anything I just don't like it when people look through your phone that's normal she didn't understand that and I know I wasn't fair because something inside woukd tell me that someone has contacted her and she hasnt told me because before she would text guys just saying theyare just friends and I didnyt like that because I never texted other girls one summer I went out of country for aboht 2 weeks and really barely had contact with her and I kissed a girl one time but to me it wasn't that serious I hid it from her for a bit but it was killing me inside so I confessed it to her anf the trust issues just keot on building up maybe it was my fault for this last thing but I still feel like it went to far a couple months ago I told her we should take a break because she never wanted to have sex and it really bothered me so while we weren't talking she was talking to an old friend of mine that had passed by her house earlier that week and left her his number so I guess they would text and call eachother during that time and she ended up having sex with him and that just broke my heart even though she said she felt disgusted we talked after that and tried to fix things now in present time its 7 months after that happened and I think about it sometimes I really let it get the best of me it really brings my mood down and whenever we fight I always bring it up idk why I do this recently we were talking about moving in together and all of a sudden she wants to just be friends and I really feel like I can't do that by the way now we both started college at the same time and have 3 classes together so I reakly don't know what to do becausr I don't think I can just be friends with her a couole of weeks ago we had made our 4 year aniversary and she was already feeling kind of weird I keeo trying to tell her that maybe this time around we can do things differently takr a different approach and take things slow but she is stuck with the everything is just too stressful and I try hard to ignore her calls and messages because she wants to know how I'm doing but I just feel like if we arnt going to be together then irather have no contact we are going to be seeing eachother most of the day for atleadt 2 days aweek until this semester is over I really just don't know what to do anymore I know this is long and sorry for telling you my whole life story but I just really need some advise I love this girk to death but if I'm not number one I don't want to be anything anf when I try to compromise with her she shuts me down or just hangs up she's stuck with the I'm just going to ignore this and not deal with it mindset