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For OW's..What do you not miss

Goodbye

By Goodbye
in The Other Man / Woman

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Goodbye Established Member

Goodbye

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Yes I was the OM. Still not over it. I'm in self imposed NC on my end. She pops up every now and then by phone and I lap it up like a thirsty dog.

 

 

 

Ugh, yeah. Stay strong. Keep making lists like those in this thread.

Dog Woman Established Member

Dog Woman

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I won't miss planning ahead a secret military operation so I could have contact with him.

I won't miss keeping him a secret from family and friends.

I won't miss the emotional rollercoaster the A brought.

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bentleychic Established Member

bentleychic

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I won't miss broken promises, especially for something as simple as a text.

cocorico Established Member

cocorico

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Or, what will you not miss when your affair ends.

 

I do not miss:

 

* the LDR.

* the vestigial M keeping her associated with him in any way.

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Dog Woman Established Member

Dog Woman

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I am not missing his texts with cryptic one line statements that he never expanded on when asked to.

I am not missing his texts when he was telling me some news then never responded when I replied.

I am not missing his texts when he was having a moan about something.

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Anna-Belle Established Member

Anna-Belle

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I do not miss:

 

* the LDR.

* the vestigial M keeping her associated with him in any way.

 

Oh, I'm looking forward to that. :)

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Dog Woman Established Member

Dog Woman

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I don't miss the sex.

I do miss our chats.

I do miss his humour.

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Goodbye Established Member

Goodbye

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I am not missing his texts with cryptic one line statements that he never expanded on when asked to.

I am not missing his texts when he was telling me some news then never responded when I replied.

I am not missing his texts when he was having a moan about something.

 

 

 

I didn't like the cryptic messages or non-responses to my questions. Generally the non-responses were because he was spending time with his W. Or, we would be talking about the holiday or weekend and he'd keep turning the topic back to me so to avoid discussing what was up with him.

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lilmisscantbewrong Established Member

lilmisscantbewrong

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I don't miss the compulsion to look at his/her FB page to see any clues of the "truth" about their relationship.

 

I don't miss having anger outbursts that seem unprovoked due to the constant underlying anger over feeling like the runner up.

 

I don't miss wondering if he'll be wearing his wedding ring or not.

 

This one hit home. I can't really add to the lists already made but I am so so glad I am past all of that social media s@@t. I did the same thing - looked for clues and all I saw was her throwing up happy pics of the family and he never put up anything about her or the family (unless he was tagged in it). All his stuff was very narcissistic and solely about HIM, his guitar, etc. There was such freedom when I realized it didn't even matter if there WAS a clue. Things didnt change. So I went cold turkey and stopped completely.

 

The thing I love about being out of it and being able to see more clearly now is that I lost myself and I gave away my power to a narcissistic, selfish, lying man who I thought loved and cared about me. What a joke. She can have him. It won't be long until he gets bored again.

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psm04 Established Member

psm04

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Posted

 

The thing I love about being out of it and being able to see more clearly now is that I lost myself and I gave away my power to a narcissistic, selfish, lying man who I thought loved and cared about me. What a joke. She can have him. It won't be long until he gets bored again.

 

Same here. I truly was a different person, and all my morals went out the window. The me in the A was not the real me.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Dog Woman Established Member

Dog Woman

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Two weeks after ending my affair with MM and I don't miss him at all. In fact I saw a photo of him that he had posted on facebook tonight and I shuddered when I saw it. It was like seeing a ghost. When I initiated NC I forgot to change my facebook settings so that I couldn't see any of his posts but I have changed that now. Ending the affair has been much easier than I thought and life is definitely looking up for me :)

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Goodbye Established Member

Goodbye

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Two weeks after ending my affair with MM and I don't miss him at all. In fact I saw a photo of him that he had posted on facebook tonight and I shuddered when I saw it. It was like seeing a ghost. When I initiated NC I forgot to change my facebook settings so that I couldn't see any of his posts but I have changed that now. Ending the affair has been much easier than I thought and life is definitely looking up for me :)

 

 

 

Dog woman, that is great news!

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Goodbye Established Member

Goodbye

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Since Dog woman revived this thread, I'll add what I'm not missing at the moment:

 

ExMM's calls late at night, clearly from his car. He'd get all lovey and start future faking away. He'd start fantasizing about where and when we'd see each other again, how amazing it would be...only to do nothing about it. I was starting to wonder if I was some sort of masturbatory aid. Nice.

hollyhillcourt Established Member

hollyhillcourt

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1 Hearing the words 'I don't know' when asked what he plans to do now that there was a dday.

 

2 Being the arm chair shrink for all of his pitiful stories. YUCK

 

3 Wondering why I have a set of balls bigger than he does

 

4 Wondering if he realizes that some of the worst decisions in life are made bc you care too much about what other people think.

 

Mainly, why my balls are bigger, lol. Maybe that's why he was attracted, bc I'm strong. Yay (facitious snicker)

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legalgirl Member

legalgirl

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Hearing let's just ride it out and see where it goes. This one was always a huge knife to the gut for me!

KentuckyGent Established Member

KentuckyGent

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Hearing let's just ride it out and see where it goes. This one was always a huge knife to the gut for me!

 

 

^^^^This. Translated: "I have no intention of being with you, so let's quit talking about it."

  • Like 2
happy stillmore Established Member

happy stillmore

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I don't miss the wanting something so bad and feeling sad because I know I can't have it.

 

I don't miss him appearing to not be as frustrated by our situation as I was.

 

I don't miss the sadness of ending our bitter-sweet moments we did share together. They were the best moments yet, the most depressing as I knew it would end all too soon. Then I would be left to wonder when is the next time we can spend the day together. :(

 

Those feelings of sadness is what drives me in my resolve to end this pain. NC is hard but the only way to go. I don't miss wondering what he is thinking. Nothing good can out of the deceit for us to be together.

 

I am looking forward to living my life openly. It feels better already.

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PutARingOnIt Established Member

PutARingOnIt

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Wondering if/when I will hear from him

 

Sneaking to hotels

 

Wondering if I am the only OW

acrosstheuniverse Established Member

acrosstheuniverse

Posted
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- The waiting game. Just one more month, one more week, until he tells her. Or maybe he won't. Oh, he's going to after all. Oh no, wait, he isn't going to for *insert reason here* and so forth.

 

- The confusion and frustration of never really knowing why he hadn't left her yet and whether he was ever going to.

 

- Not being able to sleep together in the same bed very often.

SunsetRed Established Member

SunsetRed

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I don't miss having to drive everywhere in separate cars. I never once rode in the passenger seat of the mans car.

 

I don't miss blaming myself for what I did or said that made our relationship not work,,,hello, he had a wife and I was the hidden concubine, so that's why it didn't work.

 

I don't miss having to pretend that we didn't know each other whenever he ran into co workers or people who knew his wife

 

I don't miss never having a holiday w him

 

I don't miss him reminding me that he has nothing to offer me

 

I don't miss hearing about the car he bought his wife when im driving a 15 year old dodge neon

 

I don't miss him running out the door the minute he came and I don't miss him not staying the night.

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red605 New Member

red605

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What I won't miss if I ever have the courage to end it..."breadcrumbs", always being the "runner up" and having angry fights after hearing about his weekend plans, and his "cake eating". It is, however, getting old.

Leelou Established Member

Leelou

Posted
Posted

-getting breadcrumbs of his time and attention

-paying for most everything we did

-buying him expensive gifts, but getting a Walmart $20 watch from him

-hearing him say, "Let's just see where this goes. Think about it."

-having him ignore my texts

-some days not hearing from him at all, even when I've texted him

-knowing he's flirting with others

-his selfish, self-centered, cheapskate ways, his habit of "leaving his wallet in the car" when we were having drinks so I would pay, his starting to openly flirt with the waitress or bartender who was wayy younger, his tendency to get bored after a while, his excuses, his Silence as a way to punish me, his ability to just 'turn me off' and not be available when he was out drinking with 'friends', often triggering bv, on the lookout for other potential women, making plans with me but at the last minute cancelling -even when it was a play/concert/show which I had paid for, never being sure that he was going to be able to make it, wondering if he was still sneaking back to his ex-ow again, wondering how many ow he might have, wondering why he was getting bored when I still loved him and found him interesting, wondering if he is just a liar, cheat, sob, narcissistic, passive aggressive man whose greatest skills are charm, flirt, sex, and sweep you off your feet but then gets bored and wants another challenge.

 

Funny thing is, that even after a year of dumping his a$$, he joins my gym, comes to work out when I have a personal trainer appointment, watches me, texts me to tell me he still wants me, offers to help me around the house with anything that he can think of, and he still tries to get me back... wtf does he think he has to offer me? All his nonsense does not make up for being sexy, adorable, charming... all those things are 'put on' and momentary, not long-lasting, not 'real'... I just wonder why would he constantly be after me. I've told him no so many times I'm not interested, then he lays low for a while and tries again and again. I don't miss any of it.

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Dog Woman Established Member

Dog Woman

Posted
Posted (edited)

I won't miss his predictability of pretending to contact me to see how I am and for a chat when really he was wanting to meet for sex.

 

After some contact yesterday and today from him when he was wanting to meet up, even though I said it was over weeks ago and that I was going NC, I won't miss him not taking a hint or getting the message that it is over.

 

I have firmly told him it is over today and that I had hoped he would have been focussing on his wife and had forgotten about me by now. I have also said to him that it is obvious that we can't just be acquaintances so it would be best for him to stop contacting me altogether. It looks like he might have finally got the message and has deleted me as a contact on facebook but I have blocked his number just in case he decides to try and text me in a few weeks time.

Edited by Dog Woman
Dog Woman Established Member

Dog Woman

Posted
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One final what I won't miss: keeping my phone on silent if I am with friends or fmaily in case he texts to avoid awkward questions or if my phone is not on silent, saying it is someone else or a junk text.

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