L.D.702 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 It's 2:30 in the morning over here and it's probably going to be another sleepless night. I just can't stop thinking about my ex-girlfriend and how we used to sleep together. I don't know if she knows how much I miss her but either way I don't think she misses me. Is anyone else feeling like this?
BB84 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 You're not alone, it's been two weeks since my ex walked out of our home and less than a week since we spoke and she confirmed that it was properly over....I can't sleep, she is all I think about every moment of every day. I just have to keep telling myself that this will not last forever, that in time this pain will heal but I can't see a way through it at the moment. Stay strong 1
Author L.D.702 Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 Damn I just feel like I lost the best person in the world and she ain't coming back. I don't mean this in a bad way but I'm kind of glad that I'm not the only one going through this. 1
BB84 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I know what you mean, she was the best thing that ever happened to me, and now I feel completely alone, I can't get to sleep at night, and when I do eventually pass out from exhaustion I wake up after a few hours and cannot get back to sleep I think what makes it worse is that I know she misses me too and loves me...but just doesn't see it working between us.
Author L.D.702 Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 I feel exactly the way you feel. The only time I sleep is when the exhaustion overwhelms me. The hard part is when you wake up and the first thing you feel is "it's really over and she's not coming back".
jesse93 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I feel exactly the way you feel. The only time I sleep is when the exhaustion overwhelms me. The hard part is when you wake up and the first thing you feel is "it's really over and she's not coming back". oh man, I know this feeling too well, its been a month since the break up and every morning i still wake up with that feeling i have an intense anxiety feeling and just wanna cry.. 3:32 am and i have to be up early.. god i miss her, anyway keep your head up man itll get easier as time passes :/
Author L.D.702 Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 Thank you Jesse. I do hope it passes, we were together at age 16 for 7 years, lived together for 3 of those 7 years, and broke up last week. I wish you the best.
BB84 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Yeah I know how that feels, I am sat at my desk at work now and no matter who I am talking to or what is happening, she is at the forefront of my mind. I have had enough of never being more than 20 seconds away from bursting into tears
Author L.D.702 Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 Well BB84 a couple of hours ago I was driving and just started hitting the steering wheel and screaming at the top of my lungs asking god why this had to happen.
melell Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I know it is different for everyone, but at about 6 weeks my sleep patterns became normal again, and sleeping alone became fine with me too.
Author L.D.702 Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 I don't mean to intrude in your life but, were you also with your ex for a long time?
melell Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I don't mean to intrude in your life but, were you also with your ex for a long time? If this was directed at me, yup 8 years, from age 16, lived together for 7.
BB84 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Well BB84 a couple of hours ago I was driving and just started hitting the steering wheel and screaming at the top of my lungs asking god why this had to happen. I wish I could be angry at her because that might be easier than this!. I realise that I got a bit complacent in the last few months of our relationship but she never once told me that she was upset and she even admitted that I was always there for her and was the only person she could turn to to make her feel good when things got tough. I think the thing I keep thinking about the most is, she says she still loves me and misses me, but is not willing to even give me half a chance to put things right..I know her mind is made up but accepting that I am helpless is so hard, and I feel so alone
Author L.D.702 Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 If this was directed at me, yup 8 years, from age 16, lived together for 7. So that means that me and you are kind of the same, and if you say that it's going to get better than I believe you. I just hope it comes as soon as possible.
melell Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I wish I could be angry at her because that might be easier than this!. I realise that I got a bit complacent in the last few months of our relationship but she never once told me that she was upset and she even admitted that I was always there for her and was the only person she could turn to to make her feel good when things got tough. I think the thing I keep thinking about the most is, she says she still loves me and misses me, but is not willing to even give me half a chance to put things right..I know her mind is made up but accepting that I am helpless is so hard, and I feel so alone Sorry in advance for jumping in on this thread. My mum told me when I was younger 'relationships, no matter what, are fragile things', that always kind of stuck with me. I think it is almost the human condition that leads to things, you could have done everything right and it could still end the same. I promise promise promise you that you will feel better. Everything that you are feeling, and going through, will make you stronger, and you will get through it. Make sure in the back of your mind you always know you will be ok.
Author L.D.702 Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 I wish I could be angry at her because that might be easier than this!. I realise that I got a bit complacent in the last few months of our relationship but she never once told me that she was upset and she even admitted that I was always there for her and was the only person she could turn to to make her feel good when things got tough. I think the thing I keep thinking about the most is, she says she still loves me and misses me, but is not willing to even give me half a chance to put things right..I know her mind is made up but accepting that I am helpless is so hard, and I feel so alone Hey dude whatever you're feeling and going through I am going through it as well. I wish I could go back and fix some of the mistakes that I did. What's killing me now at this time is thinking that she might be in bed with someone else cuz she is a very attractive girl.
melell Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 So that means that me and you are kind of the same, and if you say that it's going to get better than I believe you. I just hope it comes as soon as possible. Yup, I had a look back through your posts. Even when people say it take such and such amount of time, as each day goes by it does get easier. I am 50% better now than I was 2weeks post BU. So it does ease. Even though the missing them might stick around for like a year, the 'exposed nerve' feeling goes away. I am starting to think that the habitual things are really strong reminders in when it first ends, but they break pretty fast. It's just the 'love' feelings that stick around. I even wonder how much impact 'habit' has in the concept of love. One thing that is big for me is that I imagine myself as a teenager, before we met, and I think oh god, how will I cope, but I am an adult now, a way different person, and much much stronger than I realized.
BB84 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Sorry in advance for jumping in on this thread. My mum told me when I was younger 'relationships, no matter what, are fragile things', that always kind of stuck with me. I think it is almost the human condition that leads to things, you could have done everything right and it could still end the same. I promise promise promise you that you will feel better. Everything that you are feeling, and going through, will make you stronger, and you will get through it. Make sure in the back of your mind you always know you will be ok. Thanks man, I really hope you are right we moved in with each other about 7 months ago which meant me moving further away from my family and friends and also a longer drive to work. I didn't mind any of this as I thought we were going to last forever, but driving back to an empty apartment littered with memories and bits of her things is so hard, and sleep is not even a relief meaning it feels like 24/7 torture. I know I will survive, I have to keep strong but I never thought I could feel this much pain.
Author L.D.702 Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 Thanks man, I really hope you are right we moved in with each other about 7 months ago which meant me moving further away from my family and friends and also a longer drive to work. I didn't mind any of this as I thought we were going to last forever, but driving back to an empty apartment littered with memories and bits of her things is so hard, and sleep is not even a relief meaning it feels like 24/7 torture. I know I will survive, I have to keep strong but I never thought I could feel this much pain. Just remember that me and you are in the same boat. Let's try to stick together so you won't be the only one going through this.
melell Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Thanks man, I really hope you are right we moved in with each other about 7 months ago which meant me moving further away from my family and friends and also a longer drive to work. I didn't mind any of this as I thought we were going to last forever, but driving back to an empty apartment littered with memories and bits of her things is so hard, and sleep is not even a relief meaning it feels like 24/7 torture. I know I will survive, I have to keep strong but I never thought I could feel this much pain. Yeah- the pain is so bad at first, like those who haven't felt it are so lucky. I always thought we would be together forever too, that realization that it is finished over the first month was by far the hardest for me. And it is so in your face and intense. The worst. Try and remove her things, and maybe change the furniture around a bit, I did that and it really did help. Made it my home, instead of our home. Hurts doing it, but it is worth it. Things always work themselves out somehow. Hang in there.
BB84 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Just remember that me and you are in the same boat. Let's try to stick together so you won't be the only one going through this. Thanks man, I am sure in a years time it won't hurt so much and life will feel good again, we just need to take it a day at a time
BB84 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Yeah- the pain is so bad at first, like those who haven't felt it are so lucky. I always thought we would be together forever too, that realization that it is finished over the first month was by far the hardest for me. And it is so in your face and intense. The worst. Try and remove her things, and maybe change the furniture around a bit, I did that and it really did help. Made it my home, instead of our home. Hurts doing it, but it is worth it. Things always work themselves out somehow. Hang in there. I am applying for a job which is in the same city as my friends and family, I am not placing too much hope on it because I don't think I could take the rejection at the moment, failing that I am going to move closer to my current work a.s.a.p and try to move on and keep myself busy. Last time we spoke she said (in a jokey way) "Don't you dare delete me from Facebook or I will hunt you down BB84! ;)" but it's really hard not to look at her profile and see what shes up to, I am considering removing my account completely so that I can't keep looking at it once a day. It sucks that I cannot go completely NC because we have a joint bank account , lease on the apartment and some of her clothes and her dressing table is still in the apartment.
CBKBM Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I wish I could be angry at her because that might be easier than this!. I realise that I got a bit complacent in the last few months of our relationship but she never once told me that she was upset and she even admitted that I was always there for her and was the only person she could turn to to make her feel good when things got tough. I think the thing I keep thinking about the most is, she says she still loves me and misses me, but is not willing to even give me half a chance to put things right..I know her mind is made up but accepting that I am helpless is so hard, and I feel so alone AHHHHHHHHHHH THIS THIS THIS! There were no bad guys in the dissolution of our relationship. There's no one to be angry at. I'm kicking myself for taking the relationship for granted. I, too, became complacent in the relationship these last few months. I let other worries dominate my focus--money, career, hobbies--and I let all those little things that fuel a relationship fall by the wayside. I'm afraid that when I most needed to nourish it, to confirm and reaffirm that I really did love him, well, that's when I starved it. Nothing I did was egregious, but all those little things I didn't do probably ultimately contributed to his dissatisfaction. I'm an idiot, and I let the best thing in my life slip through my fingers without even noticing. Oh yeah, and I can't sleep at all.
Mr_Myo Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I am applying for a job which is in the same city as my friends and family, I am not placing too much hope on it because I don't think I could take the rejection at the moment, failing that I am going to move closer to my current work a.s.a.p and try to move on and keep myself busy. Last time we spoke she said (in a jokey way) "Don't you dare delete me from Facebook or I will hunt you down BB84! ;)" but it's really hard not to look at her profile and see what shes up to, I am considering removing my account completely so that I can't keep looking at it once a day. It sucks that I cannot go completely NC because we have a joint bank account , lease on the apartment and some of her clothes and her dressing table is still in the apartment. Dude I really feel for you, as Iv said in other threads I'm a situation where I still love my ex and she knows this but unfortunately the feelings not mutual anymore. I have to stay brave, mainly cuz we have a 3 year old girl together. However I live in fear everyday she will meet someone, this last happened when our girl was 6 months and it lasted 2 years and It wasn't easy hearing my daughter mention this guys name. It's got jealousy written allover it but I can't help the person I am. Anyway back to your situation, best thing u can do is get the apartment situation sorted ASAP, and get rid of any items that remind you of her, it's like closure of you and you'll feel somewhat a new person. The Facebook thing is horrible, I had to delete my account because I knew I wouldn't be able to help myself and look for her profile and it would send me mad if a guy had written on her wall or pics. Now I just try to keep strong and I'm sure you can do the same my friend.
BB84 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 AHHHHHHHHHHH THIS THIS THIS! There were no bad guys in the dissolution of our relationship. There's no one to be angry at. I'm kicking myself for taking the relationship for granted. I, too, became complacent in the relationship these last few months. I let other worries dominate my focus--money, career, hobbies--and I let all those little things that fuel a relationship fall by the wayside. I'm afraid that when I most needed to nourish it, to confirm and reaffirm that I really did love him, well, that's when I starved it. Nothing I did was egregious, but all those little things I didn't do probably ultimately contributed to his dissatisfaction. I'm an idiot, and I let the best thing in my life slip through my fingers without even noticing. Oh yeah, and I can't sleep at all. That's the difficult thing, she was so loving and seemed more than happy to do things for me (cooking, making lunches for work and doing most of the driving to places) she never hinted that she felt unsupported and I was silly not to realise that I was taking her for granted a little, however I did try to let her know how much I appreciated it and she admitted when we spoke last that "I know you would do anything for me". This is why I am taking it so hard, I know that I was in the wrong, but I thought she had enough love for me that she would be able to talk about it before it got to be a huge problem and could at least give me a second chance. At least I will never make the same mistake again, it just hurts to think that in all likelihood I will never get a chance to prove I can be better with her
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