loosingtheloveofmyli Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 My wife finnaly hit her breaking point and now she wants to leave. I have a daughter that just turned 5 and a son who is almost 3. I love my wife like no other. but due to my blindness I am loosing her. I guess I am like most people reading this, for there separate but realy the same reasons. That we all truly love the ones that we are loosing or in some cases have lost already. Its was me I did it, make no mistake about I was the one who caused her to hurt and turn away from me. Not because I cheat, drlnk, hit, ect, but because of 1 very inportant thing that is over looked until in many casses to late. I just did not listen to what she was saying. I made the mistake of assuming every thing was ok, were just like every other average couple. Boy was I wong. of couse there are other issues than just listing, but if I was, I would never be here I just dont hope it is too late. She has asked me to leave at this point. I realy did not think it was at that point. Now im afraid its to late. Can I FIX it? she tells she is done with any please and asking of forgiviness. The said part is I Know 100% that I can fix this if she would let me. but no she is just telling she needs her space. I afraid its her space without me for good. she tells me she not sure if she still loves me. and wont let me try to win her back. how do I break this so that I can atleast let give me a chance. I not very good at taulking about my emotions with my wife(witch I now know I need to do), so if can help but need more infomation from me please ask. I dont know what to do, please help. in return I will provide feed back to eather help or warn others of with my grasping for straws to keep the most special Woman that I will ever meet. thanks for any help
keepontruckin Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I wish I could give you better advice, but I cannot... There is little, if anything, you can do to fix things right now. Just stay cool, and show that you're "man" material...
WreckedDan Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Your best bet is suggest a trial sepperation, look up the 180 stick to it, get this in place immesiately. From what I've seen it's your only shot and.it's still a long shot.. hate to break it that way friend but you are not alone. Keep coming here and posting during this process it helps it really does. Best wishes, Dan
Author loosingtheloveofmyli Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 Thanks every one, I am trying to work on counseling now and did advise my wife I was doing so. She did say ok as long as I was the one to get it going. I was more than Happy to do so. as of last night I did find a great group that seems to realy want to help. I told my wife today and we will be working on starting soon. I just Pray she sticks with and goes. She has alwas been honest with me so I think she will. Its just so hard to tell untill it starts in this stage. In am also sharing my positive emotions with her to. This is very hard for me since I am not an emotional person that does not like. change I will do this because she truly does deserve it and I know its the wright thing to do. Plus I think once I break this fear of mine to do so I will love doing it for her. thanks for the help and support
It-is-what-it-is. Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 So what are the specific issues in your marriage.?
Author loosingtheloveofmyli Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 To it is, were were great till about 3 years ago. after that we both Started to change. My problem is I dont like change so I just acked as if everything is the same. The changes were not all bad changes just life stuff. at about 3 years ago we started to have some financial issues due to 1 less house hold income. Noe she is more into the now and less carring about finance and money than I am, so this put a great deal of stress on me. When I get stressed my way to counter it is to just with draw. Considering Im not a very emtional person to start with, this did make me mutch worse for showing my emtions. she is mutch more emtional and needs to see and feel it. weve have not had a date in over a year. We would always watch every other ones kids s they could go out. but at times it seem t be hard fr us to get that in return. I am also told by her that I dont listen to at that time I did not see it as true but noe I do. I have the problem of asking to many questions because I just lve detail. She sees it as me drilling her about what she is doing why did she do it that way. Thats not the case at all I just like elaboration. Loking back I can see that. the worst of all I would always say how I would do it, Not to tell to do that why but just to talk. I after thinking ans telling about this I see why it can bring her down. she said I am like her last husband and boyfriends and does not think I will change, just like they did not change too. But I will I have a great life(till now). I have the 2 greatist kids in the world. I will change just because I want to. I want her to be the woman that she once was with me
It-is-what-it-is. Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 In addition to counseling you should look at some books that are helpful. The five love languages, is especially good. Easy read and very helpful You need to be proactive about showing that you are working on it every day. Good luck.
Author loosingtheloveofmyli Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 Thanks, I am looking in to all the advise. I addtion I did start sending her 1 sometimes 2 texts perday as to why I am different I did get a very big smile yesterday by telling a few memories of her that I always think about. Memores of different times That I think about all the time, different memories when she was and still is sexy hot, and as a beautiful woman. One from before we got maried and one from two weeks ago.But then today she is still very up set. Just that smile alone makes me want to change and prove I will be different than any one else in her past.
keepontruckin Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Good luck, losing love... It's a tough journey, but I'm sure you'll be OK. And don't change for her... Change for yourself. If you're happy with yourself, stay that way. It's been almost five months since my wife split, and things do get better with time. I'm not sure I'm ready to date yet, even though I miss the company. I suppose the opportunity will present itself when everything is in place...
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