Jenny1234 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I thought I could handle light texts back and forth with the ex. Tonight I asked him who was helping him move and he wouldn't tell me....and it instantly made my heart drop and my head run in 100 directions. I started jumping to conclusions that it was probably a new gf helping. Or blah blah blah I think ignorance is bliss. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a new gf but how would I really know. And if this is the way I feel after one text of uncertainly god help me if he sent me a text he has a new gf. It's been 4 months...I guess I tricked myself I could handle stuff...I guess I can't Back to serious NC... It's probably better for me not to know what goes on in his life.... Urghhhhh I know better
Philosoraptor Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Yep, you weren't ready for contact. Take this as a lesson learned and continue to work on your own happiness. 1
JDPT Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 You will not be ready for a very long time. Recommit to NC discard any way you may have of contacting him. Cause and effect, if you wouldn't have inquire about his dealings you wouldn't have felt the pain you felt/are feeling. This is survival remember that all that matters here is you. You two are no longer an item you are this stand alone unit that needs to fend for yourself and be as strong as you can possibly be. Don't cave in, you already know what the outcome will be. 1
Author Jenny1234 Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 I'm putting my head back in the clouds where life is easier. I prefer not knowing anything about his life. I just can't handle it and shouldn't have to. You wanted to leave my life and walk away...go walk off the edge of the earth for all I care. I'm done. NC again. I slipped up...I'm only human...only contact me buddy if you are at my doorstep apologizing and singing love songs to get me back which I know will never happen! 1
JDPT Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 "Go walk off the edge of the earth..." I really like this! 1
iouaname Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 You'll know you're ready for contact with him when you don't think about having contact with him, honestly I am 8 months post-breakup and the last time I had contact with my ex, I melted down for a weekend. Serious no contact is a good idea, and really, the only thing that works.
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 5.5 months NC here, and I know I couldn't do it. You (and I) need more time. Simple as that 1
Author Jenny1234 Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 You'll know you're ready for contact with him when you don't think about having contact with him, honestly I am 8 months post-breakup and the last time I had contact with my ex, I melted down for a weekend. Serious no contact is a good idea, and really, the only thing that works. That makes me feel better...I'm so sick of people think I should totally over him and skipping around town all happy after 4 months. I spent almost 3 years with this person...it's not easy people. I find even going on Facebook and just seeing other people's happy lives...all married and having kids makes me feel even worse...like I've been left behind in a dust storm to start over as the world moves on
Author Jenny1234 Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 "Go walk off the edge of the earth..." I really like this! Lol if you like this one you would have loved the nonsense coming out of my mouth the night of the breakup after I processed what was going on and he wouldn't leave and was watching me talk and walk around in circles ...... Looking back after the fact I was on a roll...wish I had a secret webcam set up to record some of the hilarious stuff coming out of my mouth! Hey atleast I can get a laugh from it now!
Minneloa Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 That makes me feel better...I'm so sick of people think I should totally over him and skipping around town all happy after 4 months. I spent almost 3 years with this person...it's not easy people. I find even going on Facebook and just seeing other people's happy lives...all married and having kids makes me feel even worse...like I've been left behind in a dust storm to start over as the world moves on Hang in there. I think your healing process might truly kick in once you stop having contact with him, which often prolongs the pain and leads to a limbo of false hope. It will be difficult to go "cold turkey" at first, but in the long run I think you might feel pleased and liberated about taking control of the situation and choosing to prioritize your own emotional well-being. Sending good thoughts! M.
lovesucks76 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 All you can do is hang in there and try as hard as you can to move on. I'm not sure how that works for you but for me I use distraction. I go to the gym, work, volunteered last weekend, take on new projects and this weekend I'm hiking with a girl that invited me to join her. She's a friend so it's not a real date. Those 'alone' moments are the worst though. Right when you wake up and right before you go to bed. I also woke up in the middle of the night last night and couldn't go back to sleep. It has been 3 1/2 weeks since BU. Every time I get a text it brings me back to Week 1. I've received 3 texts in the past week. I'm very close to knocking on her door and screaming "STOP!!! You're not helping me and what the hell do you really want? Otherwise, please let me go, you have to." Pathetic but I'm so freaking done feeling sorry for myself. I also can't stand the new ME! Time to take a deeo breath and tell yourself all will be ok and close that door forever...
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I'm very close to knocking on her door and screaming "STOP!!! Time to B L O C K. Then you won't have to worry about it
lovesucks76 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Time to B L O C K. Then you won't have to worry about it Believe me, I've tried yesterday. I found out AT&T charges for blocking numbers. I'm really considering paying for the service!
JDPT Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Lol if you like this one you would have loved the nonsense coming out of my mouth the night of the breakup after I processed what was going on and he wouldn't leave and was watching me talk and walk around in circles ...... Looking back after the fact I was on a roll...wish I had a secret webcam set up to record some of the hilarious stuff coming out of my mouth! Hey atleast I can get a laugh from it now! That's must have been epic lol. The only thing I got from my ex was "you cheated on me by detaching yourself!!" But keep in mind I never cheated so I wasn't certain what she meant by that. I just recall her saying a lot random things when she finally decided to have the decency to give me a call and end things as a human being rather than through email. I have never heard my ex talk the way she did, her demeanor is always calm and pleasent I guess I stroke a nerve as she said "you are bringing to a place where I don't want to be!!" Eh live and learn.
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 Believe me, I've tried yesterday. I found out AT&T charges for blocking numbers. I'm really considering paying for the service! A small price to pay for some piece of mind!!
Author Jenny1234 Posted August 29, 2013 Author Posted August 29, 2013 That's must have been epic lol. The only thing I got from my ex was "you cheated on me by detaching yourself!!" But keep in mind I never cheated so I wasn't certain what she meant by that. I just recall her saying a lot random things when she finally decided to have the decency to give me a call and end things as a human being rather than through email. I have never heard my ex talk the way she did, her demeanor is always calm and pleasent I guess I stroke a nerve as she said "you are bringing to a place where I don't want to be!!" Eh live and learn. You didn't even get to see her in person? That's low... I would have said YOU'RE bringing yourself there...it's certainly not me! I just remember pacing around saying who knows what...it went on for hours... Finally I said "well get the hell out of here...and don't you DARE ever come near here again...I have already moved on with my life starting now...I will never see you again...you're a pathetic wimp..you're making a huge mistake and you WILL regret this one big time!...And please leave your iPad so I can sell it on eBay and all the clothes you're wearing right now that I bought" GO!". Then he gathered his stuff and said "I love you" with tears rolling down his face......walks into the dark of night crying to never return again! Such a loser! I really hate him at some moments....you don't waste 3 years of someone's life and just walk away with really no reason...he dragged me to 7 weddings...I'm glad I was such a good date for you! He never came back for his flat screen tv or any of his stuff wimp!
anythingbut Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 6 months down the line right here, and I'm still having ups and downs - albeit they are gradually getting milder and more infrequent. I am not even remotely close to being able to handle contact with her - I reckon at least another 12 months for me. My story is documented on here; but in a nutshell she upped and left completely out of the blue one normal saturday morning, after 6 years, and immediately we had no further contact - I've not heard a pip from her since. No reasons given to me, and no relationship issues to help me understand why she did what she did. Straight up ice cold!
Author Jenny1234 Posted August 29, 2013 Author Posted August 29, 2013 6 months down the line right here, and I'm still having ups and downs - albeit they are gradually getting milder and more infrequent. I am not even remotely close to being able to handle contact with her - I reckon at least another 12 months for me. My story is documented on here; but in a nutshell she upped and left completely out of the blue one normal saturday morning, after 6 years, and immediately we had no further contact - I've not heard a pip from her since. No reasons given to me, and no relationship issues to help me understand why she did what she did. Straight up ice cold! Wow some people are so cold and heartless. I'm sorry what you are going through. I'm pretty sure if I wasn't the one iniating most of the contact with my ex he'd disappear into thin air for good. Which no I understand might be better for my well being anyways and I am finally ready to break my own cycle and let me walk into the blackhole far way from me. After all that's what he wants I guess! Be strong...there will be someone out there who is way better for you! Sometimes you just need to trust the universe! 1
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