Jump to content

Do guys not like generous, giving ladies?

abby_tx

By abby_tx
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted

I would never get serious with any other type of woman.

  • Author
abby_tx Established Member

abby_tx

Posted
  • Author
Posted
They could, or it could be the underlying issue the meds are addressing. Regardless, not promising if you are normally attracted to outgoing, well-socialized men or people generally. There are plenty of people who need meds to be functional, and for those people, they are a godsend. But today, IMO there are far more people who rely on them as mostly unnecessary crutches. Whether he is one or the other, bet you realize a bit down the road that this turned out well for you, hopefully sooner than later.

 

 

To be honest, while I really miss him a ton, it is very relaxing knowing how he feels. I know he isn't in love with me. I wish it were the other way around, but at least I don't sit here wondering what is going on with him. Hopefully the next guy I meet is more clear about what he wants.

  • Author
abby_tx Established Member

abby_tx

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Blah. I'm so weak! I miss him so badly now and just texted him.

 

Now I feel even ****tier. Why am I so stupid thinking that he'll realize what he missed out on and wants me back? Does that EVER happen in real life? Probably not. :( :( :( :(

RogerWallace111 Established Member

RogerWallace111

Posted
Posted

Didn't read through the whole thread, but in response to the OP- if two people are mutually into, real, and on the level with eachother- the sort of generosity you describe would is completely cool and I'd personally love it. Letting a guy use or walk all over you is another story, but if he's a good, loving dude and you want to do nice things for him, that's legit.

 

My ex was like you- all sorts of thoughtful gestures, paying for countless meals the years I was in college- and I still look back at that generosity/sharing as one of the most flattering expressions of her love for me. It only comes across as off-putting or weak when it's done with insecure motivation or any kind of manipulative intent.

UndercoverLover62 Member

UndercoverLover62

Posted
Posted

I too think about this! I feel like I give too much and I never get anything in return, which doesn't bother me too much only because that is the type of person I am.

  • Author
abby_tx Established Member

abby_tx

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Get busy with something, tire yourself out, strenuous exercise, housework. Put your phone away and turn it off. Every contact you avoid now will be a "whew" a few months or even weeks down the road. I regret every single text and email exchange I've ever had with an ex, every single one after the breakup. He will likely come around looking for attention or to throw out crumbs. Don't play. Don't contact, don't answer!

 

Do you think if I live my life happily and ignore him he'll come back? Do guys ever realize they messed up and were in love? Could time apart show him this ?

starla33 Established Member

starla33

Posted
Posted

they really don't they want you to make it hard for them so they have to constantly chase you. I have a gf that is sooo good at this game she turns players into drooling idiots.

 

Unfortunately for me I can't play that game.

 

This one guy I was soooo nice to. Would dress up in lingerie every time I saw him and , did his dishes, had pornstar sex, gave him SO so soooo many bj's (tmi) woke him up with one every morning also. Did he want to commit to me in the end? Nope

  • Like 1
Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
Do you think if I live my life happily and ignore him he'll come back? Do guys ever realize they messed up and were in love? Could time apart show him this ?

 

Probably not, but you should just live your life happily anyway.

runningfar Established Member

runningfar

Posted
Posted
they really don't they want you to make it hard for them so they have to constantly chase you. I have a gf that is sooo good at this game she turns players into drooling idiots.

 

Unfortunately for me I can't play that game.

 

This one guy I was soooo nice to. Would dress up in lingerie every time I saw him and , did his dishes, had pornstar sex, gave him SO so soooo many bj's (tmi) woke him up with one every morning also. Did he want to commit to me in the end? Nope

 

I've seen girls play this game and it works very well for them.

 

I won't. I wouldn't. I don't want a guy who needs me to be anybody but who I am naturally.

 

And not every guy wants that. There are guys who want a loving woman and will be just as loving in return.

  • Like 3
Dolphono Established Member

Dolphono

Posted
Posted
Generous, giving women are the best there is, they make the best relationship material. It's too bad many men don't understand this and take them for granted.

 

Most men take them for granted because:

1. We didn't earn such niceness with "time".

2. She does it with any "loser" and not because I'm the "special" one.

3. Love's a battlefield and the game dictate, when a person play the sucker, exploit their generous position for the "win".

 

This one guy I was soooo nice to. Would dress up in lingerie every time I saw him and , did his dishes, had pornstar sex, gave him SO so soooo many bj's (tmi) woke him up with one every morning also. Did he want to commit to me in the end? Nope

 

Damn. Baby girl. I love your style. :love:

Dolphono Established Member

Dolphono

Posted
Posted (edited)
Blah. I'm so weak! I miss him so badly now and just texted him.

 

Wow! You sound so strong when you began this thread.

 

 

 

Do you think if I live my life happily and ignore him he'll come back? Do guys ever realize they messed up and were in love? Could time apart show him this ?

 

HELL NO! Dude is audi 5000. If you are living life "happily"? Why would you want him back? N.C / time apart is a faded memory in such a short relationship.

3 years or more together then your chances of his return would be much, much, much greater. You guys did not even make a year. Seriously? Move on. No time for crying... Let Go and Flow. Be water...

Edited by Dolphono
kaylan Established Member

kaylan

Posted
Posted
I didn't like this last guy I dated on the first date, but he pestered me for a second date and kept in contact online/phone so I gave him a second chance. He was ALL over me at first and I didn't really put forth the effort. Eventually I fell in love with him. I started doing nice things. Like I'd bring his favorite chocolate when I visited. Or I'd buy ingredients for a delicious meal. I'd drive to his house more than mine because his schedule was more complex. I'd make myself available to him. I'd make coffee for him because I always woke up before him. I'd cutup fruit in the morning for myself and cut extra for him.

 

Just tiny little things like that. I never let him pay for meals (unless I'd pay the next meal) because he was in grad school. Now I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't have been so nice. Should I let the guy still try to wine and dine me? I am a pretty independent person and don't like favors being done for me and now I'm wondering if my giving nature is the reason every relationship I've had has failed.

I think things should be 50/50, but its great that you are so supportive.

 

Id def do nice things for a girl who treated me the way you treated this guy. Ive yet to meet a girl whos gone all out like that.

Onward_Upward Member

Onward_Upward

Posted
Posted

 

I did find out on the day we broke up that he is on antidepressants, some anxiety or ocd pill, and adderall.

 

Abby, read this carefully:

 

You've just dodged a bullet.

 

Be grateful, and move on ;)

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...