365daysgone Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 So I'm just gonna create this thread here cause its getting tied into my other thread on a different situation and I know some of you would be interested in hearing this and following it. So basically I started talking to this girl on one of the free online dating sites, a week later I asked to meet her, she excitedly said sure. Then stood me up. I waited for her for 30 minutes and she no showed. We set up 4 other times to meet (1 of which, SHE offered) and she cancelled all of them for ridiculous reasons. By the 3rd time of this, I was calling her out on it. She's saying I'm being a dick, I'm telling her she is a lying sack of ****, etc. Then the next day, the text are casual again. At this point, I don't think she will ever show up. And then last night, she did. I had offered for her to come over and watch a movie (all the other times its been set up to meet at a park). So she comes over, we talk ad then watch a movie. I'm sitting at one end of the couch, she's at the other, she ends up laying under a blanket and laying down with her feet on my lap. So now she's gonna come over on Thursday. I don't know. Whole thing is ****ing bizarre to me. Flakes 5 times before she finally meets up. The really interesting thing will be if she shows up on Thursday. If she does, it shows she was full of **** all the other times. If she doesn't, then damn she flakes a lot.
happykat Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 wow, talk about the patience of Job.. Personally, I have a zero tolerance flakiness policy when it comes to the first (or even second) dates - even if they cancel for semi-legit reasons, I don't reschedule. And being stood up? You are just asking to be treated like crap if you agreed to see her after that...I'm just saying.. 5
Lansing Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Funny how you didn't post on here how you aren't really interested in her (based on the other thread). Are you just going to use her for experience? Kiss, make out, learn some skills? Mine as well make a move next time. If she keeps coming over to your place then sounds like that is what she is looking for...
white Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 She comes straight over your house, hits the couch and puts her feet in your lap? After you fling names at each other? I'd say you're in luck, with ease. The questions just who this is you're in luck with and what it means to her. I know you're not experienced. Remember all that advice about becoming non outcome dependent? You might be about to get a crash course in how to extend that to intimacy itself. Don't get attached is all I'm saying. Assuming you're OK with that (I would be in your position). If she returns, get hands on when she does **** like that. This isn't a timid girl. If you have to, drink, it might help.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 It's so funny that you guys say this because I hadn't even thought of it. It does seen obvious though doesn't it? Is it at all possible she isn't just looking for sex? That's not what Im looking for. Soon as I read these responces though, this is exactly what it seems like. Did she finally meet me because it was at my house or because it was the 6th invite? Also when I texted her my address, she has asked if I lived alone. Now you guys have my head spinning. Maybe he just put her legs on my lap because she is an outgoing girl. How likely is it that she is not just looking to sleep around? Also, it's not like she had just immediately stretched out on me. As we started watching the movie, she said she was cold and asked for a blanket. I'm in a basement so it IS freezing down there. I gave her one and as the movie went on, she made herself more comfortable.
Skyraider829 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 So I'm just gonna create this thread here cause its getting tied into my other thread on a different situation and I know some of you would be interested in hearing this and following it. So basically I started talking to this girl on one of the free online dating sites, a week later I asked to meet her, she excitedly said sure. Then stood me up. I waited for her for 30 minutes and she no showed. We set up 4 other times to meet (1 of which, SHE offered) and she cancelled all of them for ridiculous reasons. By the 3rd time of this, I was calling her out on it. She's saying I'm being a dick, I'm telling her she is a lying sack of ****, etc. Then the next day, the text are casual again. At this point, I don't think she will ever show up. And then last night, she did. I had offered for her to come over and watch a movie (all the other times its been set up to meet at a park). So she comes over, we talk ad then watch a movie. I'm sitting at one end of the couch, she's at the other, she ends up laying under a blanket and laying down with her feet on my lap. So now she's gonna come over on Thursday. I don't know. Whole thing is ****ing bizarre to me. Flakes 5 times before she finally meets up. The really interesting thing will be if she shows up on Thursday. If she does, it shows she was full of **** all the other times. If she doesn't, then damn she flakes a lot. Why even waste yourself on a girl who is this flakey? Ditch it and find someone else. Plus, if she's accusing you of doing or saying things that you didn't do at all, then I see that as an indication to abandon ship.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 I'm just having some fun. At least ill have someone to message and hang out with. I'm not taking her to seriously.
Skyraider829 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I'm just having some fun. At least ill have someone to message and hang out with. I'm not taking her to seriously. For fun - then go right ahead. Just make sure she isn't going to get attached to you in a *certain* way.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 I told you, I'm not looking for sex anyways so that's not gonna happen. But even if it did why would he get attached?
Author 365daysgone Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 Also it is goin to definitely help with my social anxiety to have her over.
Skyraider829 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I told you, I'm not looking for sex anyways so that's not gonna happen. But even if it did why would he get attached? That was sort of ambiguous, sorry. I didn't mean sex, I was referring to a romantic attachment - that is, her all of the sudden taking things "seriously".
Charlie Harper Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I told you, I'm not looking for sex anyways so that's not gonna happen. But even if it did why would he get attached? Sorry to burst your bubble but when you are lonely and have good sex with somebody endorphins kick over and BAM you feel things... It happens a lot, what really need to be addressed here is your "patience", dont let anybody treat you like a darn spare tire. She stood you up, she gets a second chance, she cancels, you go NC and she has to make the plans etc.... Be careful on what you are doing and if you want sex, ask, if you DONT let her know, seeing that you have social anxiety and poor social skills is a recipe for disaster, better say what you need, want expect, than to get an ugly surprise. Just ´sayin´
Author 365daysgone Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 Haha. Oh man. You guys are killing me now. I didn't even think there was ANY intention of sex when she was there. But now it just seems so obvious. I'll give you some more small details that I'm remembering now that may have been signs too. Feel free to analyze each of them. 1. After she had left, like probably 20 minutes later she texted me saying "thanks for the hang out :)". What does this mean? The next day I had texted back saying "sure lets do it again." And she said "sure, when are you free next?" So is this an indication that maybe you guys are wrong? 2. Almost right after the movie had ended, she had said "well I guess I better get going." 3. When I had asked if she wanted to come over and watch a movie, she had said sure. Then later on after texting a bit, she had asked "what do you wanna do?" I said "I don't know. Just hang out." Does this mean anything?? I'm getting a little excited now despite me saying I dont want sex with a stranger. Now I'm thinking, what the hell? I need to know - do you guys think there is ANY chance she doesn't want just sex?
Charlie Harper Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 What we think does not matter, ask yourself if YOU want to...then ask her if the moment arises.. don't be friend zoned, but dont push it.... sometimes a good joke leads to sex... don't plan it if she wants sex she will give you hints and then you can act, ask or ignore it.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 What we think does not matter, ask yourself if YOU want to...then ask her if the moment arises.. don't be friend zoned, but dont push it.... sometimes a good joke leads to sex... don't plan it if she wants sex she will give you hints and then you can act, ask or ignore it. I have no problem being a friend. This is kind of what I am seeking. Good point to not get amped up about it but I still want to know what everyone thinks about the likelihood of her just being an outgoing person and her getting relaxed.
Skyraider829 Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 1. After she had left, like probably 20 minutes later she texted me saying "thanks for the hang out ". What does this mean? That means she liked the movie and the time you spent together watching it. I don't think interpretation will vary that much with such an unambiguous statement. The next day I had texted back saying "sure lets do it again." And she said "sure, when are you free next?" So is this an indication that maybe you guys are wrong? Wrong about what? The fact the she apparently was flakey? You're the one who said she was flakey to begin with. We all can do is only give opinions based on the information you give us with as little ambiguity as possible. We could be wrong, therefore you could be wrong too; Perhaps she isn't a flake at all. 2. Almost right after the movie had ended, she had said "well I guess I better get going." I'm quite sure in saying that if a guy has nothing but knocking boots on his mind, he will read that as some "begging the question" ordeal. Like she's hinting for him to ask her to stay. But if he doesn't, he would just see that as what it is - that she has to leave. 3. When I had asked if she wanted to come over and watch a movie, she had said sure. Then later on after texting a bit, she had asked "what do you wanna do?" I said "I don't know. Just hang out." Does this mean anything?? Was this before she arrived at your place? Could it be a hint? Not too sure, again I say it depends on your mindset about the whole scenario. I would take things at face value and not think too much about it for now. Wait and watch - if she puts off a more definitive signal next time, then you can more accurately decipher her intention, if she has any.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 29, 2013 Author Posted August 29, 2013 I just meant is it an indication that you guys be wrong about it seeming like she just wanted sex? I don't know. The more I think about, it could have just been her personality to lay down. I have a strong feeling of her flaking again tonight though. We shall see... 1
Confused19855 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 You need to man up. Obviously she came over that evening because she was horny and wanted to get laid. Now she probably won't see you because you didn't deliver. Are guys really that clueless? 2
Author 365daysgone Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 I don't know man. She says she's shy. Maybe that was why she flaked. But then again she got very comfortable. But as we were watching the movie, all our talking was movie related. I really just don't know about this girl. She is only 21 too. When I asked if she ever met anyone off that site in person before she gave a very convincing "no". And I can tell when people are lying. And she wasn't. I really don't know.
HEY2147 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Its time to man up and realize that shes playing you stop talking or texting her and find someone else. Stop making excuses of why she is flaking saying "well shes shy" shes not you're being played stop it dude. You're being a wuss by allowing yourself to be played knowing you're being played and still falling into being played. What you dont know is to man up and end with all the BS this girl is all about that bull**** you got to move on. Sorry if I sound mean but girls all about dem bull pisses me off but you allowing yourself get hurt angers me more cause you're a nice guy and deserve better. Do you have problems meeting women or picking up women?
Author 365daysgone Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 Its time to man up and realize that shes playing you stop talking or texting her and find someone else. Stop making excuses of why she is flaking saying "well shes shy" shes not you're being played stop it dude. You're being a wuss by allowing yourself to be played knowing you're being played and still falling into being played. What you dont know is to man up and end with all the BS this girl is all about that bull**** you got to move on. Sorry if I sound mean but girls all about dem bull pisses me off but you allowing yourself get hurt angers me more cause you're a nice guy and deserve better. Do you have problems meeting women or picking up women? You are right. But can you please tell me why the **** she would finally come over? Don't say sex. And I did stop texting her before we had met but she kept initiating conversations with me. In fact, she is the one to always initiate conversation with me. She said we will hang out on Sunday and gave me her address. If she cancels, I am going to ignore the text and show up anyways. She lives with her parents too so... I just don't get what this game does for her...
Author 365daysgone Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 Alright boys. Scratch the above posts. Looks like I just got my answer via texts tonight.
Lansing Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 You are going to leave us hanging?? What did she say?
Lani Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 +1 If a girl flakes, 95% chance that she's with another guy. How do I know? I've been the other guy. I've also been friends with the flaking girls. I've also been the guy that was flaked on, only to go out and actually see the flaker with another guy. Sometimes I flake because I have my period. There's also the 'wanna see my family' flake, or I just want to stay home and eat pizza and icecream and flakes in my bed flake. Every now and then I flake cause I'm with another guy, but I wouldn't say that 95% of flakes are for this reason. Flakes flake, not necessarily to bang other dudes. Flakes gonna flake.
Recommended Posts