Charlierose Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Hi, just wanted a bit of advice with a few issues I have been having with my boyfriend. We have been together for 5 years now since we were 16 and he has always had anger issues but they have got worse as he's got older and he finds it hard to deal with anything stressful. He has always been very loving and caring and when we used to have problems he used to do his best to try and sort things out and seemed very scared to loose me. We still have a very loving relationship and very rarely have arguements but sometimes they are inevitable when he is in a bad mood. We split up for a while and then he wanted to get back together, since then he has said that he has had so much stress in his life from work and family that he will not put up with anything in his life now that causes a bit of stress. I am now finding that on the odd occasions that we do argue, he says that he cannot deal with the stress and wants to end it there and then. I have told him that in an adult relationship the mature thing to do is work through your problems but he cannot understand this and just sees in as something that's causing him stress and overexagerates how bad it is, he also gets very very nasty. On the occasions when this has happened I have panicked and grovelled and apologised and agreed with everything he says and then he eventually says if we have another arguement or I cause him stress again then that's it. I can't understand this behaviour as I know he truly would finish with me so it's not to get me to do whatever he wants and also we have a very very close and affectionate relationship....
ForeverHopeful1 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Do a 180 on him. Don't play the BS game and call him on his crap! End it if he threatens this. It is unfair for you to walk on eggshells because he is incapable of coping with anything. That is not your problem. It is his though. 2
bubbaganoosh Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 My best friend was dating a woman and it went from dating to getting engaged. The very seldom argued but when they had a disagreement, she would remove the ring and hand it back to him and he would finally convince her to put it back on. This happened quite a few times. One night it happened again. She got pissed and handed him the ring back and this time he kept it. She went home and he never said a word. As time went on, maybe two months, she finally asked him for the ring back and he told her he lost it. He also told her that he wasn't worried because the ring was insured. The woman squirmed for another month and he finally gave it back with the warning that if she did it again, there would be no turning back because he wouldn't want anything to do with her. She cooled her jets after that. Maybe you should call his bluff and let him stew of a while. 2
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