Author solostand Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 No, IMO...Hes not killing his wife...Hes just saying that.... If he's as wealthy as you say he is, hes only spending lunch money on you...Its not a matter of him not mustering the courage or that he doesnt have the balls.Thats wherre most people are missing the point..He doesnt want to leave, and blow his life up..Its a calculated plan...The only millionaires I know of that are dumb are lottery winners. Hes neither stupid, nor spineless...This is his way of orchestrating his life..You are just the bit player. Its you that doesnt have the courage...Im sorry to say that, but its true. You have become dependent on him now..Like some of the others say, cut off the sex and see what happens. He may still help you, but he will probably be less accessible, as he will most undoubtedly move on to someone else. I agree with some of the others..I dont think you really love this man..He is your security blanket and you cant give that up.. So, either swallow your pride,and accept the conditions and play along(you wont be the first or last), or restore your self worth and autonomy and move along.. Its just that simple.. TFY He wouldn't care if I cut off the sex. At this point it's no longer about sex. We have it maybe once in every five times. He is very proud of this. He sees it as a way to show that I am more to him than a piece of tail. So yes, if I cut off sex everything would remain the same. He has even told me so. Its more of an EA than anything at this point, with sex thrown in for fun.
thefooloftheyear Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 You are second, always have been, always will be unless you make yourself first by either getting away from him or making a deadline-hes got it made-success in life, a loving wife, kids that think he is wonderful and someone that will stroke his ego then sit quietly and wait while he enjoys his other life-why buy the whole he does not want to hurt his wife, he does not care enough to be truthful to her, why would he care if he hurts her-same goes for you, he cares about you but not enough to give you what you want-you would not put up with this from a single guy, so why put up with it from a married one-my guess is you are smarter and better than that- Its just a guess, but Id be willing to bet she'd rather have a half a loaf of bread and get some green in her purse than the whole loaf from another guy that wont help her with her bills.. TFY
thefooloftheyear Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 He wouldn't care if I cut off the sex. At this point it's no longer about sex. We have it maybe once in every five times. He is very proud of this. He sees it as a way to show that I am more to him than a piece of tail. So yes, if I cut off sex everything would remain the same. He has even told me so. Its more of an EA than anything at this point, with sex thrown in for fun. So then what are you complaining about? Sounds like you are content with this arrangement..You are "griping" because perhaps it helps you to relieve your guilt? Either you want to do it or you dont...Ask yourself this...Lets say he decided to cut off from giving you any money. Would you still be his" EA with some sex thrown in for the fun of it"? Ill bet you wouldnt. TFY
Author solostand Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 Its just a guess, but Id be willing to bet she'd rather have a half a loaf of bread and get some green in her purse than the whole loaf from another guy that wont help her with her bills.. TFY That guess is incorrect. The money seems to upset you. I take it because he has it to give - he wants to give it - and it makes him feel good to give As I've said before, he helps strangers and random people. I know it is not coming from the business, but from his salary from the business as well as his own personal pension. His wife has her own pension from a different career.
thefooloftheyear Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 (edited) That guess is incorrect. The money seems to upset you. I take it because he has it to give - he wants to give it - and it makes him feel good to give As I've said before, he helps strangers and random people. I know it is not coming from the business, but from his salary from the business as well as his own personal pension. His wife has her own pension from a different career. It doesnt bother me, I couldn't care less if he bought you a Ferrari or a Chalet on the Riviera... Look, Im not here to beat you down, but you sound like a typical Pollyanna. If it works for you, fine. Hes giving you the money from under the couch cushions.. But dont make some half assed attempt to "feel bad about it", because quite frankly you are discrediting the other OW that did walk away from this type of scenario. And it was likely harder for them, because some of them had deep emotional bonds to their MM and didnt get any financial compensation for their time. I dont think you care so deeply for this old guy, because you never say you do, but you talk about the money all the time. TFY Edited August 28, 2013 by thefooloftheyear
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