JDPT Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I was dumped off a 4 year relationship roughly 3.5 months ago. There were plenty of signs during the last year of our relationship which I neglected to acknowledge and I believe it was for the best that my ex put us out of our misery. A few days after she dumped me I understood that it was a requirement for me to discard of everything and anything that would remind me of her. I luckily refuse to take part of any social media apparatus and as far as I was concerned she refrained from it as well, so it was one less thing to worry about. I deleted photos/videos from my phone and laptop. However, prior to doing all of this I decided to save all these photos and videos into a flash drive which currently hold at least 4K+ photos and videos. Additionally, I asked my mother to hang on to a few pictures of my ex and I and the very last birthday card she gave me last year. Not until recently have I been thinking why I'm hanging on to these. I thought the other day of tossing the flash drive in the trash but couldn't bring myself to do it as I thought possibly years and I mean many years down the road I can look at these pictures and chuckle at them with no pain attached to it. Any suggestions as to how to proceed with this? 1
Sparkle304 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Don't throw out the flashdrive. Like you, I've held on to reminders of past relationships (old bday cards, pictures, love notes). I've stashed them in a box at the back of my closet. I keep them as a reminder of the milestones in my life. They're not tokens of sadness, but rather signs of the great life I've had. I'm a true believer in "better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all". Ha! I even still feel that way while trying to re-assemble myself after my break up. 2
NoLeafClover Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I was dumped off a 4 year relationship roughly 3.5 months ago. There were plenty of signs during the last year of our relationship which I neglected to acknowledge and I believe it was for the best that my ex put us out of our misery. A few days after she dumped me I understood that it was a requirement for me to discard of everything and anything that would remind me of her. I luckily refuse to take part of any social media apparatus and as far as I was concerned she refrained from it as well, so it was one less thing to worry about. I deleted photos/videos from my phone and laptop. However, prior to doing all of this I decided to save all these photos and videos into a flash drive which currently hold at least 4K+ photos and videos. Additionally, I asked my mother to hang on to a few pictures of my ex and I and the very last birthday card she gave me last year. Not until recently have I been thinking why I'm hanging on to these. I thought the other day of tossing the flash drive in the trash but couldn't bring myself to do it as I thought possibly years and I mean many years down the road I can look at these pictures and chuckle at them with no pain attached to it. Any suggestions as to how to proceed with this? I too have pictures of my ex of 7 years (broke up about a month ago) everywhere on my PC and phone. I too had my mother hide all her bday cards and xmas cards she sent me. I have debating about throwing them soon as well but then I remembered about a very hard breakup I went through when I was in high-school. My ex in highschool wrote on the front page of my senior year book. She wrote on the whole cover about how much she loved me and all that jazz. I somehow ran into the senior year book a few weeks before my recent ex and I broke up and I remember reading through it and how I was laughing at some of the things my high-school ex gf wrote down. It funny how time changes and fixes things. I used to cry over my highschool ex (This is back in 04). Now I look at her memories as a happy ending for laughter and jokes. I also made the mistake of deleting pictures of the recent ex that I was with for 7 years - Deleted pictures of us when we first met due to an argument we had after dating for 2 months. I wished I had never deleted them then and also now...and to be honest I hate my ex very much because of how much pain I am going through so I do have every reason to throw/burn/delete memories but what is done is done and life goes on. I would suggest that you put everything again. It was actually a very good idea to transfer everything over to your FlashDrive. I confess I can't do it at this point as I would have to see every single picture I had with her and prob break down. I actually avoid using my PC as much as possible specifically so I don't run into any pictures of her. Keep your mind away from the pictures and those memories. Give it a bit more time until you realize that flash drive is nothing but a memory. I think the only time I will not feel bad about deleting and removing any of my ex's memories is when I find someone worth it and prob marry. ...that is just my opinion though
Author JDPT Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 I can certainly agree with holding off viewing these pictures until I feel that I'm ready. I recall months ago looking at those pictures and remembering in such vivid detail where I was and what I was doing and the things she said when she would send me any particular picture. I've also shed a few tears looking at those pictures but simultaneously acknowledging that there was not turning back from her decision. Truth is and I can say this with all honesty that I hope I never have to see her or know of her ever again, I just believe it's best this way for me. I can later reminisce looking at those pictures and understand that it was a phase in my life that I had to go through and endure the pain in order for me to be a better man.
todreaminblue Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 i can help with this.......my biggest regret in life.... is i destroy photos i have taken away memories i could have remembered but out of an obsessive compulsive behavior of mine........I destroy any photo which has me in it...if friends take photos of me....i delete them from their camera or phone if i can get hold of it.....its a big mistake to hand me a camera where a photo of me is on there when some one asks me can i see your baby photos....i have none...my mum keeps them and i am allowed to look at them with supervision......i exterminated my whole life taken in pictures.............down to one baby photo which makes me wince.....its actually in my head......i looked like such a serious baby sitting in a bouncer with a corgi my nanna owned as a guard beside me,me staring at the sky which isnt uncommon for me to do now...i ripped it up..... photos are irreplaceable.....and even though you cant look at them now, one day you will be able to look at them and have them to share with your family and friends.........my daughter asked if i could give a baby photo of me for a family history day, i had none to give.......give all memorabilia to your mum to hold on to until you are ready to accept them back........photos are irreplaceable snapshots in time...keep them.....one day you will want to remember..and reflect to see how far you have come....deb
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