marina123 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Ok, I really need to get this off my chest because I have been thinking about it the whole day! BF and I broke it off 2 weeks ago after 8 months together, 5 of which were LDR. It was a very amicable break-up due to unfortunate circumstances. I basically need to work on myself (past pain that resurfaced, self-image and spirituality issues). I was being consumed by my own stuff and found myself unable to work on the relationship. My boyfriend tried to help me and support me, but he grew frustrated. Eventually he said that being in a relationship is the worst place to do soul-searching because of the added pressure. So we ended it We exchanged a few emails after, checking on each other. He says he thinks about me and wishes me well. He thanked me for all I have done for him. He says he is there for me. That we are still friends. That he doesn't think of anything that happened between us as bad. We want to be friends but agreed that we each need some time and space to ourselves. I've been on NC for 3 days, but I am so worried! Won't keeping the NC damage our chances of being friends?? I really want to keep him in my life. He is a great person! And what if there is a chance of reconciliation but keeping NC might ruin it??? I just wonder if he misses me or is happy I am out of his life. I wonder what he does. If he has as hard of a time as me. I am afraid that he is over me, that he has moved on. I am so afraid he will find somebody else I am driving myself insane with all these questions!!! UGhh
joe86 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I'm just starting NC with my ex after posting here, I want to fix things, and don't want her to find someone else, but if they want things to work out surely they wouldn't do that? I think being afraid of what you can't control needs to be avoided. Worry about it sure, but don't be afraid of it!
Sparkle304 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 So you stated that both of you agreed that "we each need some time and space to ourselves". Follow this through! You CANNOT be friends right now. Why? Because you don't want a friendship, you want a boyfriend. It will only hurt you more to maintain contact. One of the key aspects of getting through a BU is being truthful with yourself. I'm sure he does miss you, but that is not a reason to get back together. So many people return to relationships because it's easy and it's comfortable, but 6 months, one year, two years down the road they're back to the same spot they are now.... No contact!
barky2 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 If you put in the hard work and dedication to nc....you will be greatly rewarded. Its not easy. But you will be so proud of yourself and so empowered you stuck to it. That's my promise. Barky
JDPT Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Keep in mind that the fundamental objective of NC is for you to move forward with your life. There is no room for friendships or reconciliations with NC. We all will like to think that our exes are "wonderful" people, however, there are certain times in life when you need to do what's best for you and you only. As stated there are a number of things that you will like to improve in yourself and it's often best to take this soul searching journey alone as it will not be fair to drag someone along through it specially if you love this person. Take this energy and focus on yourself, you will get through it and come out of this a new and improved you. 2
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