365daysgone Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 So as someone who has never kissed a girl before...and yes I am 24...sad, I know. It makes me wonder...if you're on a date and there is a clear indication the girl wants you to kiss her, how do you know if its gonna be a small kiss or a make-up type of kiss? How do you know when to pull away? How do you know when the kiss is over? And most importantly, how do you tell the girl "I suck at this, so don't expect much from this upcoming kiss"?
Skyraider829 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 So as someone who has never kissed a girl before...and yes I am 24...sad, I know. It makes me wonder...if you're on a date and there is a clear indication the girl wants you to kiss her, how do you know if its gonna be a small kiss or a make-up type of kiss? How do you know when to pull away? How do you know when the kiss is over? And most importantly, how do you tell the girl "I suck at this, so don't expect much from this upcoming kiss"? I'm in the same boat, but what I will say is don't think of it being a big kiss or a smaller kiss, who cares? Its a kiss, let it be what it'll be. If you tell the girl "I suck at this" do you really think she's going to lean in for a peck anyway? That would come across a major turn-off. You would probably douse your chances right there, or if you did kiss her, she probably wouldn't think too positively of it since you see yourself as some lame-ass kisser.
SugarLips72 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 (edited) Start with a small kiss at first. Don't think about it too much. If it is apparent this girl likes you, I would probably give her a small kiss on the second date. I can tell you from experience the biggest turn off is a bunch of tongue right off the bat and women do not like sloppy kisses. Don't tell her you have never been kissed. That is likely to weird her out. She does not have to know that. Just wait until the mood is right. Maybe give he a kiss before a goodbye hug. Edited August 27, 2013 by SugarLips72 1
Author 365daysgone Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 Well as I read these responces, I can already feel myself getting nervous and can see the road that I am going down. So I will not think about it anymore. ITS NOT A BIG DEAL!!!
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Practice on a cheeseburger....the lips are the buns and the meat is the tongue. Seriously don't worry about it, just do what feels natural and go with the flow. 1
ThomasD Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Full disclosure statement: My kids are older than you. Superannuation alone may automatically render my comments meaningless. My first girlfriend was a 6-month love affair (yes, I DID love her) starting the last few weeks of High School. Four dateless years later, at 22, I met the girl who became my wife (for 39 years so far). That probably ranks me as much less than "successful" by contemporary dating standards. However . . . So as someone who has never kissed a girl before...and yes I am 24...sad, I know . . . . I don't think that's at all sad! You're coming to the game a little later than some others, but you can learn from their experiences rather than going through everything on your own. (OK, yeah, we all know it's good to learn from others' mistakes, rather than make all the errors ourselves . . . but I admit it IS nice to have a few successes in the background we could claim for our self. We'll help you get there.) Far from sad, I actually think it's at least a little bit attractive and charming. It takes courage and integrity for a man to say "I need help", and "Will you teach me?". If this girl is truly worth investing your time and attention into, she will value those character qualities more than she will mark you down for poorly developed make-out skills. A couple weeks into our relationship, I actually DID ask my first G/F to show me how to kiss. (And dance, and play Rummy, and a few other things.) Rather wisely, she waited until I was ready - REALLY ready - and really wanted it - and her body language all but screamed "KISS ME!". For the next six months or so she actually taught me how to make love with a woman, even though I never even fondled her, or saw her naked, and certainly didn't have sex with her. Yeah, she was THAT good at kissing! It makes me wonder...if you're on a date and there is a clear indication the girl wants you to kiss her, how do you know if its gonna be a small kiss or a make-up type of kiss? How do you know when to pull away? How do you know when the kiss is over? This all comes under the heading of "making love with a partner". Notice the word "WITH" (not "TO")? It's something you do together. You learn to "read" each other. Especially if you have given her insight into who you are and what you are experiencing (i.e., first experience with a girl you care at least a little bit for) she will help you see and understand the key "phrases" in the "language". Again, if she's worth it (and perhaps even if she's not) she will respectfully and courteously let you know if it's too much, or too little. Is this a "first date"? Depending on definitions, I've had only two, or perhaps no more than half a dozen, "first dates" in my life. Only ONE of them involved a kiss - I made the initial, clumsy, chaste move but it was VERY apparent to me that she wanted to kiss me, more than I wanted to kiss her. A year and two weeks later we were married . . . And most importantly, how do you tell the girl "I suck at this, so don't expect much from this upcoming kiss"? See above. Skillfully let her know that she has a significant role in making the kiss good. When you see her, DO NOT even associate the words "kiss" and "suck"! Sucking kisses are more likely to be effective on breasts and nipples, perhaps her neck, and maybe belly or thighs. You are NOT at that stage yet!
white Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Practice on a cheeseburger....the lips are the buns and the meat is the tongue. ****. I see some guy doing that at McDonalds and I'm uploading it to youtube before bleaching my eyes
Author 365daysgone Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 Full disclosure statement: My kids are older than you. Superannuation alone may automatically render my comments meaningless. My first girlfriend was a 6-month love affair (yes, I DID love her) starting the last few weeks of High School. Four dateless years later, at 22, I met the girl who became my wife (for 39 years so far). That probably ranks me as much less than "successful" by contemporary dating standards. However . . . I don't think that's at all sad! You're coming to the game a little later than some others, but you can learn from their experiences rather than going through everything on your own. (OK, yeah, we all know it's good to learn from others' mistakes, rather than make all the errors ourselves . . . but I admit it IS nice to have a few successes in the background we could claim for our self. We'll help you get there.) Far from sad, I actually think it's at least a little bit attractive and charming. It takes courage and integrity for a man to say "I need help", and "Will you teach me?". If this girl is truly worth investing your time and attention into, she will value those character qualities more than she will mark you down for poorly developed make-out skills. A couple weeks into our relationship, I actually DID ask my first G/F to show me how to kiss. (And dance, and play Rummy, and a few other things.) Rather wisely, she waited until I was ready - REALLY ready - and really wanted it - and her body language all but screamed "KISS ME!". For the next six months or so she actually taught me how to make love with a woman, even though I never even fondled her, or saw her naked, and certainly didn't have sex with her. Yeah, she was THAT good at kissing! This all comes under the heading of "making love with a partner". Notice the word "WITH" (not "TO")? It's something you do together. You learn to "read" each other. Especially if you have given her insight into who you are and what you are experiencing (i.e., first experience with a girl you care at least a little bit for) she will help you see and understand the key "phrases" in the "language". Again, if she's worth it (and perhaps even if she's not) she will respectfully and courteously let you know if it's too much, or too little. Is this a "first date"? Depending on definitions, I've had only two, or perhaps no more than half a dozen, "first dates" in my life. Only ONE of them involved a kiss - I made the initial, clumsy, chaste move but it was VERY apparent to me that she wanted to kiss me, more than I wanted to kiss her. A year and two weeks later we were married . . . See above. Skillfully let her know that she has a significant role in making the kiss good. When you see her, DO NOT even associate the words "kiss" and "suck"! Sucking kisses are more likely to be effective on breasts and nipples, perhaps her neck, and maybe belly or thighs. You are NOT at that stage yet! interesting advice. It seems to be quite the opposite of what others have said though. They say don't tell he anything about my experience. Maybe if there is just an absolutely clear indication of her wanting to kiss, just laugh and say "do you want me to kiss you?" Honestly this girl seems fun and such. I don't think that would turn out badly. Question though: generally on what date, do people kiss?
NateC Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 interesting advice. It seems to be quite the opposite of what others have said though. They say don't tell he anything about my experience. Maybe if there is just an absolutely clear indication of her wanting to kiss, just laugh and say "do you want me to kiss you?" Honestly this girl seems fun and such. I don't think that would turn out badly. Question though: generally on what date, do people kiss? There is no real general time. I've seen people say the 2nd date, others the 4th. Yet others say by the 4th sex is likely. Everyone's different. Even if you've never kissed before (I haven't either at 23), you'll know when it's the right time to lean in and go for it. Good luck!
todreaminblue Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 my advice is if you havent kissed someone before to just touch your lips to theirs,gentle with a little pressure, so the friend thing is not just a peck, get used to leaning in to someone you care about...its a vulnerable place to be when you care for them you dont have to say you have never kissed anyone before. lets them know you are unsure....... just touch their lips with yours as you would kiss someone on the cheek....same with the lips.......you dont stick your tongue out when you kiss someones cheek so dont do it when you kiss their lips, save it for the bedroom ......ok .............now after you have touched your lips to hers....your first kiss is done...smile........its over.........if she is receptive....and you will know by the look on her face...lean in again...little more pressure....longer ......and pull back......second kiss done over with adn you sruvived the kissing two step gauntlet....... you feel great now not so nervous, she is smiling..yoru heart is hammering nto from fear...but another reason....happiness.......lol.....but you are ace and on your way..so happy kissing ....good luck....deb 1
Skyraider829 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Well as I read these responces, I can already feel myself getting nervous and can see the road that I am going down. So I will not think about it anymore. ITS NOT A BIG DEAL!!! Don't let bodily sensations stir you up. Anyways, I heard somewhere (or did I read it?) that its not a bad idea to practice kissing your own hand. I suppose that could be a tad helpful. Humor is something to get down pat before going on a date, as that helps off-load a lot of aniticipatory tension.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Welcome to the club. I'm 25 and never kissed. The membership cards for the club are on back order...
Author 365daysgone Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 Welcome to the club. I'm 25 and never kissed. The membership cards for the club are on back order... I'm just curious...have you had a girlffriend or been on a date before?
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I'm just curious...have you had a girlffriend or been on a date before? I have been on some dates. The last one being May of this year. I "dated" a girl in college. It was a complicated situation, not sure if she was my girlfriend or anything. But we never kissed or anything.
running4timing99 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 be honest. telling her its your first kiss is romantic. makes her feel special knowing shes a first. dont be shy about it, it's important. Besides, there will always be more room for practice. 1
ThomasD Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 interesting advice. It seems to be quite the opposite of what others have said though. They say don't tell he anything about my experience . . . . I expected as much - and that's why I started with an emphasis on how my opinions had been shaped. If you think about it . . . there are many threads on this Forum that follow themes like "She isn't the person I thought she was", or "I discovered this about him after it was too late.", or "How did I miss the insincerity", etc. Then you find threads like yours, where the consensus is "Don't, under any circumstances, let her know your true situation.". Is this a valid example of "You reap what you sow.", or not? Maybe if there is just an absolutely clear indication of her wanting to kiss, just laugh and say "do you want me to kiss you?" Honestly this girl seems fun and such. I don't think that would turn out badly. I guess you can never tell when it comes to women, but I honestly can't imagine a decent, respectful girl who would hold that against you. In the two cases I can personally attest to, there was no doubt that the girl would not only accept a kiss, she WANTED it! (With my first G/F it was almost amusing, in a romantic and touching way, how she "told" me (without words) what I should be doing if I wasn't such a nervous coward.) As already stated, I'm in favor of disclosure. Several posts in this thread actually give some good advice about the mechanical details of a first kiss. Perhaps it's a romantic fantasy I have, but I imagine a girl who is at all interested in you would be charmed and flattered if you went for one of those perfunctory, chaste, (and probably nervously fumbling) kisses - then explained, "I've never done anything like that before. I hope I learn to be much better, soon.". Question though: generally on what date, do people kiss? Ummm, when they mutually feel that a rather personal, even intimate, expression of their affections is in order? Well, there's kissing ( ), and then there's KISSING ( )! I could give another long answer that runs contrary to the consensus. Some on here say the relationship isn't going anywhere if you aren't sleeping together within a couple weeks. The cultural "rule" that I picked up about half a century ago is that it's acceptable (but not required) for the guy to try for a hug and kiss at the end of the first date. The girl was free to accept the gesture (with anything from passivity to eagerness), politely and respectfully decline it, or deflect it (kiss on the cheek or forehead rather than lips, etc). My first G/F and I had been dating for a couple of weeks - probably at least a dozen times together, though not all were official "dates" - before I got brave enough to kiss her. And she was ready much sooner than that, and took pleasure in the opportunity to teach me. My (now) wife and I kissed - and she REALLY kissed - at the end of our first date, which was also the day we first laid eyes on each other. But we had been writing to each other, increasingly serious letters, for over 3 months before we met so our first kiss was between people who were already very much "in like" with each other.
ThomasD Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 be honest. telling her its your first kiss is romantic. makes her feel special knowing shes a first. dont be shy about it, it's important. Besides, there will always be more room for practice. :love: :bunny:
turt Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 If she likes you it doesn't matter! I was 24 too... 1
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