Groovy Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 Initially this guy liked me so much I felt smothered with him calling 3 times a day. I sort of gave him conflicting information in wanting his attention. Then I got upset when I didn't get it. Men don't get women can't be smothered in the beginning but eventually when they trust and know a person they want all that attention. I had told him I felt smothered. Furthermore on our 6th date he took off his pants and asked for a hand job! Then he didn't call the next day for a first, but I told him not to call me because I would be busy. I did this for 2 days in a row. And I was busy, but gave him the idea I wasn't interested perhaps. I listened to a voice message I left for him and realized I was being really angry with him, giving him conflicting info and he couldn't understand what was happening. My tone sounded demanding and harsh. I sensed he was on the fence about me and could kind of undertstand why. He told my friend I was weirding out on him. And I felt because he had taken his pants off around me on the 6th date, I wanted to know if we were exclusive. So I asked him. It was when things were weird between us. I think I was just feeling vunerable and needed to know. It's also why I was acting the way I did. He said that's not what he was looking for right now. And I got upset because for the past 2 weeks he had picked crustys out of my eyes on one occassion while I lay in his lap, called me 3 times a day and kept telling me how beautiful I was, calling me "his girl". I wasn't asking if he loved me, I was just asking if he wanted to focus on me because I thought he knew I was special enough to him. My friend who set us up has known him for 10 years and says he really wants a relationship and ultimately a kid and marraige. I forced myself to go out with him and my friends for a pool tournament for the 7th date even though I sensed a distance in us. We acted distant at first. But by the end of the night we were hugging and holding hands. I thought I'd say sorry and play it off and act like nothing happened. I still don't think he understands. I called him at work today and he doesn't know what his plans are this weekend. He has a 2nd job and is going on vacation in a few days. But I also wonder if he is deciding if I'm a nut case or not. I called him at work, because he has unset plans I made my own and he wanted to know if I am going out with a guy tonight. I said I am not, which is true. But I am not turning anyone down if they ask. I am not sure if I would tell him that part. I asked why he is asking and he said it was just a question and to stop being like that. I told him mine was just a question too. I'm not sure if he feels I am playing fair or manipulating him. I know I am just playing fair. I am dissapointed he says these things and doesn't feel the way I thought, though I asked him at a bad time. Know that you know what the situation is, my question is...... I am with O.K with kissing. I know I do not want to sleep with him or have oral sex after he told me he doesn't want to be exclusive. I'll get hurt. But he is a bag of hormones who is 6' 3" and dead gorgeous. I haven't had anything for a year and am 32. Despite him saying we are not exclusive he did tell me he is not fooling around with anyone and doesn't sleep around. Would I be judged if I let him touch me down there after all this? I can tell he is conservative and he said we aren't exclusive! I've really screwed a lot up and wanted to at least be proper in that regards without being uptight. Sometimes I think it's good to give a little away without everything. I'd enjoy it but not if it eliminates the last chance to go back to where we were.
moimeme Posted November 13, 2004 Posted November 13, 2004 This one's a dud. Do yourself a big favour and forget about him. You won't be happy if you stick with him, I'm pretty sure.
Author Groovy Posted November 13, 2004 Author Posted November 13, 2004 Yeah, I haven't picked the phone up when he called tonight to say he is thinking of me, because I am not sure about him. He's one of the best looking guys I've ever met, but I want something meaningful. I will admit he has been a good guy up until this week when his pants came off and I was left feeling confused by his motives. I can't blame myself entirely. He has treated me to several dinners, calls me, introduces me to his friends and co-workers, dotes over me in front of them while his friends rag on his sentiments and he doesn't seem to care. (He needs more mature friends). So I have some reason to think he is after more than just my body. He could go to a bar, women try to pick him up all the time. But I think he wants to screw one of the bodies like mine thats clean and has a big heart inside, without thinking of the big heart. I've chilled out and stopped thinking so much about it all. Realizing that I like him and he is not doing things 100% right. If he wants to date other people, cool with me. I will too and his pants should probably stay on! If I get an orgasm with him in his big arms it probably wouldn't be worth the trouble he will cause me.
BurningBright Posted November 13, 2004 Posted November 13, 2004 If any guy I was dating dropped his pants on a date and asked for a hand job... he would of got one... with a good grab, pull and TWIST! lol.. imagine if he were to meet your parents? Parents: "well hunny, how did you know he was the one?" Your response: "Oh when he dropped his pants on one of our dates"... (you look to the jerk..) "I lova you hunny" Get rid of this jerk!!! ~BurningBright
Author Groovy Posted November 13, 2004 Author Posted November 13, 2004 In all fairness to him he is a guy and he wants it like any guy. And sometimes they do stupid crap that's far from polite, even to women they like. I am not dumping him and I am not letting him do that again either. If that is all he wants he will end up dumping me and that will be certainly alright! But if he likes me he will be happy to watch TV and cuddle on the couch.
Merin Posted November 13, 2004 Posted November 13, 2004 What?! This guy dropped his pants and asked for a hand job on the 6th date? MG! I am happy to report that I've NEVER had a guy show such a lack of class and good taste as to drop his damn pants and ask me for a "favour" Good God! You know IMO it sounds to me that this guy while he may be interested in you.. he has also let you know he ISN'T interested in ONLY you. So if you're all good with that, then all you.. However, regardless if he's a guy and wants some.. how about showing a little self restraint, class, dignity, good taste, respect... and NOT letting the pants fall to the ankles when out on a date!? Sheesh! If this is the way he approaches all the women he has an *interest* in, i'm going to say he isn't getting laid very often.
Author Groovy Posted November 13, 2004 Author Posted November 13, 2004 We were at his house on his couch, not out in public! Hell no! And he will get laid, just not by me. He is 6' 3", all muscle like a body builder, great teeth and hair and is well off financially. Plus there's a lot of sluts in Florida. I guess I'm a lot more clear than I was 24 hours ago. But some of you do act like it's never happened. How old are you guys? I am 32 and it's happened to just about everyone I know at some point or another.
Merin Posted November 13, 2004 Posted November 13, 2004 Originally posted by Groovy We were at his house on his couch, not out in public! Hell no! And he will get laid, just not by me. He is 6' 3", all muscle like a body builder, great teeth and hair and is well off financially. Plus there's a lot of sluts in Florida. I guess I'm a lot more clear than I was 24 hours ago. But some of you do act like it's never happened. How old are you guys? I am 32 and it's happened to just about everyone I know at some point or another. I'm not acting like it's never happened to me.. it hasn't. I also think it's kind of crappy to say there are a lot of sluts in Florida.. what would that have to do with HIS behaviour? IMO it isn't about what someone else would be willing to do with him, it's about his poor judgement and lack of tact. Maybe he acts like such an idiot because there are people who think because he is good looking, with good teeth, and hair and he is financially well off that he now has the green light to behave in whatever manner he wants to, after all he's all that right?
Author Groovy Posted November 13, 2004 Author Posted November 13, 2004 I'm agreeing with what you said. My point is despite the money and looks it is NOT O.K. But some women who are superficial may feel they just want to jump in bed with that physical chemistry he creates. But to me I want more than that.
Charlane Posted December 5, 2004 Posted December 5, 2004 Me too Groovy. I slept with two guys on the first date (my two mistakes here). The first one was a gorgeous surgeon and the second one was an equally gorgeous college basketball coach. I know the sex was good because it was all night long. Neither one has called again. I needed to have the sex I must admit but I wanted a relationship. I did not say this to them before the date. I just thought that if they were dating me (or dating period) that they were looking for something solid too. I'm not doing that anymore ever. I never called either guy and would rather stab my eyes out with steak knives first. If they really wanted me, they would have made it known to me. I dated one beautiful guy for a whole month before them and it was getting great until he lost his job (private commercial jet company manager - airlines are going belly up) and he went back to Ohio. That slayed me because I was crazy about him and I felt it was mutual. This has been my luck. I dated him right after my dad died this last August. Don't compromise. Get to know the person first. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. If it doesn't, take it as a personal favor that you will not have to deal with some kind of garbage later on down the road. Get past it NOW.
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