dwsgirl Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 I've been with my bf for about six months now and he is really sweet and treats me well. We share alot of laughs and always have a good time when we're together. In the beginning of the relationship things were a bit rocky. He had just ended a casual relationship with someone because he wanted to be with me. I was flattered of course but asked him if he was absolutely sure that was what he wanted. He re-assured me that he didn't have any feelings left for this other girl and wanted to be with me. A few weeks passed and this girl was still keeping in touch with him in hopes of reconciling. I was always there for him when he needed to talk so when I asked him again if he was sure he didn't need some time to figure out what he wanted. He said he wanted me but at the same time he's telling me this, he was telling this other girl that he didn't know how he felt about her. She wanted to get back together with him but he kept beating around the bush and telling her he didn't know what he wanted. I decided I didn't want to be the "pushy" one in the whole situation so I told myself just to let things play out for a bit. Then a few weeks later I found out that he was going on a camping trip with his ex-girlfriend and another couple that had been planned before he and I started dating. When I asked him why he was still going he said " because I told them I would go a couple months ago and I don't want to back out" Though I was a bit miffed I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to rock the boat and tell him I didn't think it was appropriate he was going with his ex. He was gone for 4 days and all I did was think about him and her together sleeping in the same tent....which incidently they did share a tent. I found that out when he got back. When he got back from his trip things were a bit strained and he seemed uncomfortable when we were out for dinner. I wanted to ask so many questions but was afraid he would clam up so again....I didn't ask. Its been over 3 months since this camping trip but its always been an issue for me. It's always a nagging thought in the back of my head. He tells me he loves me all the time and I believe him. But I can't seem to let this go. Am I too late to ask him what happened that weekend? Have I missed the window of opportunity? It's probably my own fault for not speaking up and asking questions then instead of letting it nag at me for months. I would appreciate any thoughts or suggestions anyone may have. Thanks!
ixlives Posted November 13, 2004 Posted November 13, 2004 ASK!!!! You have every right to. He was wrong on going, it was just a camping trip.
bluechocolate Posted November 13, 2004 Posted November 13, 2004 What has he been like these past 3 months? Is the ex-girlfriend still in his life? He shouldn't have gone on that camping trip - or he should have taken you along. If you can't let it go you have the right to ask.
ziggue Posted November 13, 2004 Posted November 13, 2004 Man. I don't know how you let him go. If my boyfriend left me to go on a Camping Trip with his Ex. I would be out the door. Easier said then done but. I know. Still I agree with everyone. He shouldn't have gone on that trip. They shared a tent and your Boyfriend's Ex still wants him back. I bet your Boyfriend's Ex took advantage of that in every way that she could. Now your boyfriend clams up when you ask him about the trip? Actions speak louder then words. You can even sense something is wrong. Maybe you are afraid to hear the truth from him. Maybe that's why you keep your mouth shut about the trip. As the other posts say you have a right to ask.
Author dwsgirl Posted November 15, 2004 Author Posted November 15, 2004 Thanks for the responses.......I'm gonna ask him tonight when I see him. To answer your question Bluechocolate, he has been very sweet and attentive the past few months. We spend quite a bit of time together and always have alot of laughs. I don't doubt at all that he loves me. As far as the ex goes...he still chats briefly with her on MSN but does not see her or talk to her on the phone. Perhaps I was afraid of the truth and should have asked the day he got back from that trip.....but I'm not feeling so afraid anymore. If I ask and he says nothing happened and my gut tells me he's being truthful, then I can let it rest. If not, then that's just a whole new issue right there..lol. Thanks again. I will let you know how things go.
Author dwsgirl Posted November 16, 2004 Author Posted November 16, 2004 I feel relieved today...I can put that issue to rest. We had a good talk last night and when I asked him about the camping trip there was no hesitation. He flat out told me that they did share a tent but he slept as far off to the side as possible and avoided her attempt to talk about their recent breakup and her hopes of reconciliation. He told me he thought of me and how much he missed me before he went to sleep every night. I felt he was telling me the truth and I feel much better now that I can drop the whole issue. Thanks for your replies. I guess deep down I knew what I had to do but needed a little push. Take care all!
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