Guys: when looking for a potential relationship, what attracts you to women??

[enchanted771]

I am asking this question, because my friend is trying to set me up with this guy. I guess he saw me, and was checking me out (from behind) I think i am a bit of a prude, but when someone notices your body first to me it says they are looking for one thing, but maybe not. I just have this bad thinking that all men are the same. I did talk to him before my friend tried to set me up with him. I just get nervous. So, I am getting mens opinions. I guess your not going to want to be in a relationship with someone you dont find physically attractive.

[Woop1337]

Well physical attractiveness is important in dating. Just as long you find the other person attractive, even if they barely passed it. Most men are the same, I myself is like that. But most men, do have the self control, to not fully be run by our emotions and lust. So yeah, give the guy a shot. Only if you have genuine interest in dating him as well.

 

But to answer your question. I find women, that are flexible to be awesome. What I mean by that is that, when something doesn't go their way, they won't lose their mind over it. And not afraid or apprehensive to try new things, whatever that is.

Edited August 27, 2013 by Woop1337

[enchanted771]

Thank you. I get i get nervous that all men are in it just for s*x. But I guess there has to be some physical attraction or else there is nothing. Yeah, Ill give him a shot just if he tries to take me to his apartment ill flip out lol.

 

I am attracted to him. He is attractive and has some good qualities about him but I will see how he acts. If he is creepy and not respectful towards me, I dont care how attractive he is its a deal breaker to me.

 

He seemed to be non creepy and well spoken, can hold a conversation, stable, etc but you know they can be on their best behavior so will have to see.

[Mws]

Honestly the most attractive thing to me when it comes to women is them just being themselves totally comfortable with who they are. That is so ****ing hot to me, beyond looks. Looks fade amazing personalities don't .

[fortyninethousand322]

What attracts me is if she looks cool or interesting. It's a hard quality to put your finger on.

[DannyMason]

I guess he saw me, and was checking me out (from behind) I think i am a bit of a prude, but when someone notices your body first to me it says they are looking for one thing, but maybe not.

 

How is he supposed to notice your personality before your body?

[Imported]

Physical attraction.

 

Trust-worthy.

 

Not a floozy. I'll expand on this. I don't really like girls that are constantly talking about sex when we are around other people. Yes, it's nice you like sucking dick and dick in general and you are so sexually adventurous, but just STFU. Really. Just shut it. Yes, I have been out with women that are like this. I don't find it sexy, I just think it is crude and low brow. And yep I am judging them and neatly putting them in a category which is far from relationship...ish. Slut in the bedroom, angel in public. That is desirable. But girls that like to parade it around, I treat one way.

 

 

Respect for boundaries.

 

But no, really...I have to trust you.

[Charlie Harper]

Smile, good teeth and eyes...

[ThomasD]

Just because a guy notices your body (smile, hair, legs, face, or any other aspect of your appearance), don't assume that's the only thing - or even the main thing - that attracts him to you. For that matter, he may not have been "checking you out" in the way you imagine. He could be observing your body language, and interactions with others, to get some insight into your personality. Even if your appearance is his primary motivation, consider that this may be your opportunity to convince him there is a LOT more to your person than just a pretty face.

 

Yes, "physical attractiveness" matters to some extent with just about every guy but it's a poorly defined category. For some guys, physical attractiveness is the first and primary factor; for many others, you're fine as long as you're not "grossly UN-attractive". And the physical features men find attractive vary just as widely - the girl who is "long, lean, and luscious" to one guy is a "skinny broad with no boobs" to another.

 

It's likely your potential date DOES see more than your body when he looks at you. Personally, I may find a woman physically attractive but wouldn't consider her as a dating prospect or relationship material unless I also found her intellectually attractive. OK, I admit I am VERY married and not looking to change that, so it's a moot question for me personally, but thinking back over some women I've been attracted to, their brains made up for A LOT of what was "missing" (by cultural standards) from their bodies. This guy may see your physical attractiveness as an added bonus to a girl he'd like to be better acquainted with.

 

Why are you afraid of physical attraction? It is, as you admit, part of the package that's a whole person. Based on your "best behavior" comment, you may agree with me that the whole "dating" concept is rather artificial. (Of course I was never successful at typical dating so perhaps I'm rationalizing my own failures.) My wife and I wrote to each other, sight unseen, for over three months before we actually met. We established an intellectual connection, and were very much "in like" with each other before we even saw each other in person. But I can assure you that physical attractiveness played a role as we fell "in love" and "in lust" with each other. We still managed to be wedding-night virgins when we married about a year after meeting, though it took some effort from both of us. In the 39 years since then we have enjoyed sex a lot - and enjoyed a lot of sex. Physical attraction hasn't dominated our relationship by any means, though it has been a significant factor. Don't think physical attraction is automatically a bad thing!

 

You really DO have control over the role of physical attraction, and how it's expressed, in your dating experiences. Regarding the situation you asked about, guys are culturally conditioned to to try for a hug and kiss on the first date, or anything that's close to a date. It's generally accepted, even expected, but not all guys will make that move! (The reasons are many, and you can find this topic discussed in other threads on this Forum.) But in the same way, girls are free to accept (or even encourage) the gesture . . . or politely and respectfully refuse . . . or modify it (such as taking a kiss on the cheek or forehead rather than the lips, hugging with your hands between your bodies, etc.) And at that point, the guy is obligated to accept whatever limitations, restrictions, or outright refusal the girl has placed on the physical expression.

 

Please don't write this guy off just because he seems to think you're physically attractive.

[MrCastle]

Physical attraction is 50% of it. So yeah, it plays a role. But it's not the be all, end all.

 

A good man is not gonna date you just for sex. Some guys do, but we're not all like that.

[enchanted771]

Physical attraction.

 

Trust-worthy.

 

Not a floozy. I'll expand on this. I don't really like girls that are constantly talking about sex when we are around other people. Yes, it's nice you like sucking dick and dick in general and you are so sexually adventurous, but just STFU. Really. Just shut it. Yes, I have been out with women that are like this. I don't find it sexy, I just think it is crude and low brow. And yep I am judging them and neatly putting them in a category which is far from relationship...ish. Slut in the bedroom, angel in public. That is desirable. But girls that like to parade it around, I treat one way.

 

 

Respect for boundaries.

 

But no, really...I have to trust you.

Oh hell no, that is just beyond nasty. That being said I know someone like that and whenever she starts going on that rampage I am just like your sick lol. I like sex as much as the next person, but to throw it out there for everyone to hear? no. Maybe a little flirty suggestion here and there but thats about as far as ill go.

[enchanted771]

Just because a guy notices your body (smile, hair, legs, face, or any other aspect of your appearance), don't assume that's the only thing - or even the main thing - that attracts him to you. For that matter, he may not have been "checking you out" in the way you imagine. He could be observing your body language, and interactions with others, to get some insight into your personality. Even if your appearance is his primary motivation, consider that this may be your opportunity to convince him there is a LOT more to your person than just a pretty face.

 

Yes, "physical attractiveness" matters to some extent with just about every guy but it's a poorly defined category. For some guys, physical attractiveness is the first and primary factor; for many others, you're fine as long as you're not "grossly UN-attractive". And the physical features men find attractive vary just as widely - the girl who is "long, lean, and luscious" to one guy is a "skinny broad with no boobs" to another.

 

It's likely your potential date DOES see more than your body when he looks at you. Personally, I may find a woman physically attractive but wouldn't consider her as a dating prospect or relationship material unless I also found her intellectually attractive. OK, I admit I am VERY married and not looking to change that, so it's a moot question for me personally, but thinking back over some women I've been attracted to, their brains made up for A LOT of what was "missing" (by cultural standards) from their bodies. This guy may see your physical attractiveness as an added bonus to a girl he'd like to be better acquainted with.

 

Why are you afraid of physical attraction? It is, as you admit, part of the package that's a whole person. Based on your "best behavior" comment, you may agree with me that the whole "dating" concept is rather artificial. (Of course I was never successful at typical dating so perhaps I'm rationalizing my own failures.) My wife and I wrote to each other, sight unseen, for over three months before we actually met. We established an intellectual connection, and were very much "in like" with each other before we even saw each other in person. But I can assure you that physical attractiveness played a role as we fell "in love" and "in lust" with each other. We still managed to be wedding-night virgins when we married about a year after meeting, though it took some effort from both of us. In the 39 years since then we have enjoyed sex a lot - and enjoyed a lot of sex. Physical attraction hasn't dominated our relationship by any means, though it has been a significant factor. Don't think physical attraction is automatically a bad thing!

 

You really DO have control over the role of physical attraction, and how it's expressed, in your dating experiences. Regarding the situation you asked about, guys are culturally conditioned to to try for a hug and kiss on the first date, or anything that's close to a date. It's generally accepted, even expected, but not all guys will make that move! (The reasons are many, and you can find this topic discussed in other threads on this Forum.) But in the same way, girls are free to accept (or even encourage) the gesture . . . or politely and respectfully refuse . . . or modify it (such as taking a kiss on the cheek or forehead rather than the lips, hugging with your hands between your bodies, etc.) And at that point, the guy is obligated to accept whatever limitations, restrictions, or outright refusal the girl has placed on the physical expression.

 

Please don't write this guy off just because he seems to think you're physically attractive.

I am not writing him off at all. Lets just say I know he was checking me out because my friend who is setting us up saw it. I did talk to him briefly before she set us up, and he was asking about me some so thats a good sign I think. He is the one who wanted her to set us up. I was a bit apprehensive at first but once I met him I actually liked him. Checking me out is one thing, just cant stand guys that are creepy and start with the sexual intuendos too soon. That turns me off.

[MrTurk]

Guys: when looking for a potential relationship, what attracts you to women??

 

Brains, brains, and more brains! Common sense is worth way more to me than all your degrees. I'm sure its more common place in metro areas to find women that are smart and intellectual....but in suburbia...many of the single women are idiots.

 

I like a woman that actually has an opinion, and knows WHY she has it, with the ability to defend it. A woman that doesnt avoid news and current events because she cant handle reality. A woman that communicates with me about our relationship instead of her friends or some cheezy internet forum.

[StanMusial]

Would your friend set you up with someone who was going to tap that then split? Seems shady.

 

Also, it takes more than a cute tush for me personally to even consider a serious relationship. Plenty of guys are the same way.

[crederer]

Just because he noticed you physically does not mean he's only looking for sex (which is kind of the impression you left me with based on your post).

 

Looks only get you the "interview" and then your personality gets you the "job". For me, any ways.

[Keenly]

I guess the number one thing that attracts me to a girl besides looks and attitude is just her ability to show interest.

 

 

She skips the games, the vague conversations attempting to lead me into asking her out. She just expresses her interest in me. That to me is a big turn on.

[enchanted771]

Would your friend set you up with someone who was going to tap that then split? Seems shady.

 

Also, it takes more than a cute tush for me personally to even consider a serious relationship. Plenty of guys are the same way.

No, I would think not, especially since he comes around my place of business every once in a while (long story). I guess I am not too good at the dating scene. It makes me nervous the whole thing and how your supposed to act after bla bla bla.

[enchanted771]

Just because he noticed you physically does not mean he's only looking for sex (which is kind of the impression you left me with based on your post).

 

Looks only get you the "interview" and then your personality gets you the "job". For me, any ways.

Good point. I know I have a good sense of humor so if he does too then we will be a good match well, hopefully. Just when we talked he was very well spoken and he had this kind of charisma about him that I liked. Hard to explain.

[Babolat]

I am asking this question, because my friend is trying to set me up with this guy. I guess he saw me, and was checking me out (from behind) I think i am a bit of a prude, but when someone notices your body first to me it says they are looking for one thing, but maybe not. I just have this bad thinking that all men are the same. I did talk to him before my friend tried to set me up with him. I just get nervous. So, I am getting mens opinions. I guess your not going to want to be in a relationship with someone you dont find physically attractive.

 

If I have never had a conversation with the woman, then yes, something about their look, the way they carried themselves, their walk, something, has attracted me.

[RedRobin]

OP, I personally prefer men who are unimpressed by looks.

 

The type who can maintain their composure and reason around the most physically beautiful woman in the room.

 

I know it when I see it. The ones who give me the up and down look aren't one of them. They have other ways of sizing me up that are more discreet.

 

They also aren't going to be twisting their necks or have their eyes go all aflutter when a beautiful woman walks by. Or tossing flowers (verbal, visual, or actual) towards every attractive woman that passes by either. They just aren't. That's just the kind of guy I find attractive though... others have their criteria.

 

So, not sure what to tell you. Physical attraction is a component for everyone in separating friend type 'love' and those we wish to pursue for an intimate relationship. It is the care one takes in sorting out the value of the outside vs the inside that I pay special attention to.

 

Good luck!

[emva07]

Physical attraction.

 

Trust-worthy.

 

Not a floozy. I'll expand on this. I don't really like girls that are constantly talking about sex when we are around other people. Yes, it's nice you like sucking dick and dick in general and you are so sexually adventurous, but just STFU. Really. Just shut it. Yes, I have been out with women that are like this. I don't find it sexy, I just think it is crude and low brow. And yep I am judging them and neatly putting them in a category which is far from relationship...ish. Slut in the bedroom, angel in public. That is desirable. But girls that like to parade it around, I treat one way.

 

 

Respect for boundaries.

 

But no, really...I have to trust you.

 

I have found that a lot of times girls like this are mostly all bark and no bite. They go around parading their sexual drive, sound like a good time. Then when they're with a guy for more than a few times, they turn boring and not as good as say, a girl who keeps to herself about it and blows a guys mind away.

 

I guess it's like the male equivalent of always talking about his package and then turns out to be small/lame in bed.

[waiting4u]

Brains, brains, and more brains! Common sense is worth way more to me than all your degrees. I'm sure its more common place in metro areas to find women that are smart and intellectual....but in suburbia...many of the single women are idiots.

 

I like a woman that actually has an opinion, and knows WHY she has it, with the ability to defend it. A woman that doesnt avoid news and current events because she cant handle reality. A woman that communicates with me about our relationship instead of her friends or some cheezy internet forum.

 

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