Mrlonelyone Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 (edited) Yesterday I started study for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy at a new school an hours drive from where I was before. Almost every woman I see here looks prettier than my EX. I even walked up to a tall, busty, leggy, young, blue eyed blonde <25 year old woman in the produce section of the Wal-Mart and said,"You may think this is strange to say but you are really beautiful and should not look so sad." She smiled big and made eye contact like she was interested at that point. I just turned and walked away. She does make me physically aroused even thinking of her. Yet I don't regret not having done more to get a phone #. I probably could have sweet talked her into more, maybe even a hook up (This one looked insecure like she really needed to have some attention, vulnerable.) The problem is within me, I am still so stuck on what I had with another person that I can't emotionally buy into being with someone new at all. To be totally honest this was a person I knew for a year in passing, and for another 8 months of hanging out and getting to know each other very well yes even physically. On some level it still feels hard to believe it's really permanently over. The last time I saw her face to face down the hall she turned and flashed me a big broad smile. Though we weren't talking her body language said it all GFTOW? How have others faced this situation? I see people mention the GFTOW method that just sounds like an invitation to herpes... has anyone done GFTOW (GFTOM if one prefers that) and did it really get you over an ex or did it just make you feel like a tool? Edited August 27, 2013 by Mrlonelyone
ruby77 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Not sure if its the same thing but I am struggling to be with someone else. I am 5 and a half months post break up, doing ok most of the time but there's a new guy who likes me and I like him. I have slept with him a couple of times but afterwards I really freak out. Get really bad anxiety after but I'm not sure why, scared of a new relationship? Scared it won't work out? Scared of getting hurt again? Scared its just a rebound and I'm just filling a good rather that actual liking him?? My head is a mess right now.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 Not sure if its the same thing but I am struggling to be with someone else. I am 5 and a half months post break up, doing ok most of the time but there's a new guy who likes me and I like him. I have slept with him a couple of times but afterwards I really freak out. Get really bad anxiety after but I'm not sure why, scared of a new relationship? Scared it won't work out? Scared of getting hurt again? Scared its just a rebound and I'm just filling a good rather that actual liking him?? My head is a mess right now. I know what you mean. Sex without the depth of emotional content just isn't the same. It feels good physically for a moment but there's not the afterglow that comes when you really really feel like this could be something real.
ruby77 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Maybe. I've put it down to just not being ready even though I thought I was. Sucks because I want to be ready and want to get on with my life! I guess I'll give it even more time then haha.... 1
Author Mrlonelyone Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 I guess that's all I can do too. Wait and see if I will meet and like someone the way I liked the last one anytime soon. I am not optimistic. Liking her was like being hit my a bolt from the blue. Horny happens every day, that, thunderstruck feeling is far more rare. 2
ruby77 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I'm sure you will be able to find that again when you are ready. Has anyone else had this? How long does it take until you are ready for another 'relationship' and how do you know if you are doing it for the right reasons or if it is just a rebound thing?
seekingpeaceinlove Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 I hear ya, op. I'd love more than anything to be able to meet someone and hook up in order to expedite this healing process but its going to take me a while before I get there. Right now, as odd as it sounds, I actually feel guilty just considering the idea. Ridiculous.
TrblinMN Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Exactly what I am going through as well. Dating is hard to do after a breakup but sleeping with someone new causes me a lot of anxiety and it shouldn't! Augh, in time I guess. At least I am not the only one thinking this way.
ruby77 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Scared to be alone, scared to be with someone else...wheres the fairness in that??
Author Mrlonelyone Posted August 29, 2013 Author Posted August 29, 2013 Scared to be alone, scared to be with someone else...wheres the fairness in that?? I'm not scared to be alone. I just know how much richer it feels not to be.
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