jamestuffnel Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 (edited) Hi. I met my ex last night after seven months apart and little contact. We went for a walk and then to an art gallery. I got to the tube station early. He got to the tube station kinda on time. Which suprised me as when we dated he was always early. We held hands. (I initiated) and my ex did not pull back. Obviously wanted to kiss each other but we didn't. He made innuendo about my height (I seemed taller does that mean your penis got bigger too?!). I was slightly worried about this comment as maybe he just wanted sex?! But he didn't initiate anything that would suggest he just wanted sex with a familiar partner as he didn't ask to come back home with me. Even when I suggested that he come back and see my new place (which I know I should not have asked). I also asked if he missed me. He said "sometimes". Probably should not have asked that either?! I asked why we didn't meet a few months ago when we agree too. He said "I don't know what happened then". I left it at that. We had not met in person for 6 months. It felt like we had just met the day before. I got a message when I got back home "It was great seeing you again. I felt like kissing you goodbye like old times". I had made a joke during our meet and he said in the message "the joke still make me laugh". How do I play it from here? Does this seem like a second chance or...? Edited August 27, 2013 by jamestuffnel
BC1980 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 It's seems ambiguous right now. Only time will tell, which is difficult to hear. I would not try to discuss the relationship status at this point. I would wait a few months and see how things look at that time. Try to let it evolve as naturally as possible, which I know is difficult because you have a history with him.
Author jamestuffnel Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 Yes it is hard to know what the meeting may or may not have meant to him. It is hard to know if or when I should suggest a second meeting or contact him.
BC1980 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Was he the dumper? If so, I would try to wait for him to contact you and initiate a meeting, at least a first. Give it a few days.
Author jamestuffnel Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 He was the dumper! And if he doesn't contact me? What do I do?
BC1980 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 Just wait and see if if contacts you, and cross the other bridge when you come to it. If it's been a week without contact, he probably isn't interested.
Author jamestuffnel Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 Hey. So my Ex agreed to meet me for a second time. It was a few hours before we were due to meet so I text him. He replied "got new job and have to work :(" So I asked to meet another time etc. The next day he says he does not think we should meet again. He said he would not have met if I start have feelings for him again? I don't understand how it went from the positivity of the first date to this? What happened? He got scared?
BC1980 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 He was testing the waters when he went out with you the first time. He mught havw had a lungering doubt and wanted to see what would happen. I'm really sorry. But you would never have known otherwise right? You took a chance. It's done for good now, so you can move on for good.
joe86 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Sounds like it. But like you said, the familiarity in that first meeting probably caused that closeness/intimacy. Maybe he doesn't actually want that with hindsight. From your first post things seemed good, I was feeling happy for you & hope I get the opportunity for a friendly meeting like that in future. Relationships are just a disappointment when people want different things Maybe he's had a lot on his mind at the moment, but eitherway, I'd say you're best just taking his lead on what happens next.
BC1980 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Even for the dumper, there is still attachment and that familiar connection. I'm sure he felt that when you met, but, for whatever reason, he decided he didn't want to be together after thinking about it. Again, I'm sorry you are hurting, but it's a chance we take sometimes.
Author jamestuffnel Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 He said nothing had changed with me so I was silly to think things would work second time around without change
Author jamestuffnel Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 He is not very clear about that.
BC1980 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Well, he didn't give you much to work with there. This doesn't sound promising though. If you were to change anything, it would have to be for yourself anyway. If you don't see anything wrong with yourself, then I would say forget this person.
Author jamestuffnel Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 Yes I think he was curious if I had changed. I think getting a cigarette out and smoking it was a bad thing to do in front of him.
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