NYWoman Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 (edited) leavanda Try called it right. Your body is flooding your brain with "love chemicals". It is these chemicals, hormones, that are giving you the butterfly, the walking on clouds, falling in love feeling. They are meant to make us feel good, it is infatuation. When an affair is involved it is also called the "fog", as that aptly describes what the person is experiencing. As you put it all rational or logical thought is tossed out the window to be replaced by this happy feeling. Actually it is quite similar to a drug addition. Like a drug addict you keep craving the next fix or high, caring very little whether you are hurting your life or hurting the people in your life you love, such as your children or your friends. You are falling in love with a man you admit you don't admire, and have very little in common with. You don't share the same tastes, such as reading and theatre. In most cases, it is the things the couple have in common, that are the roots upon which love is planted that cause it to grow into a strong and loving relationship. You have none of that, just this happy butterfly feeling. Even you suspect he might be a player. Take it from one who has been down this path, and learned the hard way, this man is a player. He knows how and is an expert at manipulating women with the proper emotionally charged words, I.E. he know which words to use to get you emotionally involved, and then later to move the affair into a physical relationship. However he is missing some power and strength to full commit to you. Big Red Flag! To him you are only a booty call for his sexual satisfaction, a sexual conquest. I would bet that you are not his first victim. He has a girl friend, who he is sponging off of. He is not about to drop his well paid sugar momma for you. What does that tell you? You do know that his call, on the verge of collapse, crying that he cannot take care of you and your children was nothing more than an act. And speaking of your children. He is their worst enemy. He continues to pursue a married mother of two, screwing their mom and caring nothing about destroying their happy home. They are young and defenseless! If you really love the OM, give your husband a divorce and the children, as from what I read, he is the only one willing to step up and fight to protect them. Edited August 28, 2013 by NYWoman
NYWoman Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 (edited) Another thought Do you realize how lucky and blessed you are that your children are crazy about their daddy. This alone tells me that he takes an active part in their lives Tread cautiously here, as not all fathers do so. And that will make him even more of a better catch should you decide to divorce him. My kids father quite often was too busy doing his own thing to bother with the kids. Sitting on the couch, watching sports, instead of getting them out in the sunshine and teaching them how to play ball. He did teach them some, but most of the time when my son would ask his dad to play catch, he was to tired at the time and need to sit down and have a couple of beers. Weekends when I took the kids to the zoo or the museum, or on a hike, my second ex, was spending the afternoon at the golf course. Then once again he would be too tired to interact with the kids. And yes he did teach them a little about fishing and hunting, but he could not be bothered with them when he and his buddys took the weekend off fishing. Though I was glad when he left them behind during hunting season. My boy wanted to learn how to build models. Instead of helping him learn how to build them my lazy Ex said he will learn more by trial and error, and teaching himself. He tried and got very frustrated, kits are expensive, so we could not afford to immediately replace the ones he messed up. He eventually gave it up Small wonder why both of my kids got involved with drugs, etc. I was there, and I can see how with just a little effort from my Ex could have made all the difference in their worlds. Edited August 28, 2013 by NYWoman
jnel921 Posted August 28, 2013 Posted August 28, 2013 If you want butterflies focus on how to spark up the marriage again. Your OM has a woman. What does this tell you? He is using another woman's money and using you for sex. He doesn't want to play daddy to your kids. You told your H but still talking to the OM? Does your H know this? I am sure if he did he would leave. I would.
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