Janesays Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 As someone who hates all exams done with stirrups, I can't even imagine why a man would want to be present, except at the end to discuss anything important about the baby's care. Because men are willfully ignorant and watch too much tv. They think those initial visits with the DR are 'simple discussions' a la the Cosby Show and all the examinations are just a woman laying with a belly exposed while someone runs a wand over it. (Those exist....but the woman has to be far enough along in her pregnancy for her belly to protrude significantly before they can even see anything that way!) SORRY GUYS! HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU! BUT THE FIRST VISIT IS A MAN WITH HIS FACE IN YOUR GIRL'S NAKED LADYBITS WITH A GIANT CUE-TIP TRYING TO SWAB 'FLUIDS' OUT!!!! I apologize, but there is nothing more irritating to me when people choose to be willfully ignorant. 2
Treasa Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Because men are willfully ignorant and watch too much tv. They think those initial visits with the DR are 'simple discussions' a la the Cosby Show and all the examinations are just a woman laying with a belly exposed while someone runs a wand over it. (Those exist....but the woman has to be far enough along in her pregnancy for her belly to protrude significantly before they can even see anything that way!) SORRY GUYS! HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU! BUT THE FIRST VISIT IS A MAN WITH HIS FACE IN YOUR GIRL'S BITS WITH A GIANT CUE TIP TRYING TO SWAP 'FLUIDS' OUT!!!! I apologize, but there is nothing more irritating to me when people choose to be willfully ignorant. Hey, I agree. I don't mind a guy being present when nutrition or something is being discussed, though, although God knows I'd never be stupid enough to tell a woman what to eat if she were pregnant... And those exams are even worse when your doctor surprises you by saying, "Oh, this medical team is visiting. Mind if they observe?" FFS, might as well just web-cam it..
serial muse Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 As someone who IS currently pregnant, I will say that my first appointment with the OBGYN was NOT 'fully clothed' or just a simple discussion. I was naked and spread eagle on a bed and receiving a very intimate examination otherwise known as a pap smear. My second visit is going to include something pregnant women affectionately call a 'dildo cam.' Because of this, I did NOT take my fiance to my first visit. He would have come, but I preferred to wait to bring him after the nake-y visits including stirrups are over. They aren't generally able to do those 'outside tummy' examinations until the woman is much further along in her pregnancy. Also, quoted for truth. Speaking as someone who is also currently pregnant, my H would not have wanted to be present for those "consultations". Fact. 2
Treasa Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Also, quoted for truth. Speaking as someone who is also currently pregnant, my H would not have wanted to be present for those "consultations". Fact. My boyfriend won't even look at REALLY COOL pictures of this humongous paratubal cyst I once had to have removed via surgery. And my doctor and I am SO proud of those damn pictures. I have a "beautiful" uterus, per my doctor... Wow, that's ****ed up. 1
CptSaveAho Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Who said I didn't want him? But I realize you can't comprehend complicated, delicate life situations such as adoption and unplanned pregnancy. You have the emotional capacity of a tadpole. Don't worry though, babe. I'm sure you won't have to face making such a heartbreaking, soul-changing decision for yourself such as that. Where is your son? You chose the carousel of men over being a responsible parent at 20. Got it! But somehow OP should be different and take a women who lies, avoids, deflects the truth like the women in this thread and pay for her crimes of having low self esteem? Yes because he will win in the end Lets not even talk about raising a kid from parents that have low self esteem. The kid really wins. People in this thread are super selfish and can't look at your own issues and accept them and want to bring another kid into this world is going to fix this. Its not 1
Janesays Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Hey, I agree. I don't mind a guy being present when nutrition or something is being discussed, though, although God knows I'd never be stupid enough to tell a woman what to eat if she were pregnant... Important information such as 'what to eat' and 'don't clean the litterbox' was vaguely murmured into my spread legs during my first visit. I told my fiance he's not coming until we have the ultrasound. That's more of the 'we're all going to sit around and talk about this wonderful experience and look! Do you hear that? It's the heart beat!' moments that you want to share. The rest of it is just regular ol' gross chick stuff. 2
AMusing Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Poor kid. She's 21, scared, insecure about her fertility, and suddenly the guy who's been telling her he'd be fine if she got pregnant... isn't fine with it and is accusing her of lying. She's been thinking she may never have kids, and now she's thinking she may have to abort. I hope she has family close to her. After she's gotten a chance to calm down, talk to her again about prenatal visits. You should be there for any discussions with her doc (and it sounds like she wants you there for those), but not necessarily for the actual examination. Also: I have nothing to hide gynecologically, but it never occurred to me to take my boyfriend to my annual appointment. That's just... weird. 9
Treasa Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Important information such as 'what to eat' and 'don't clean the litterbox' was vaguely murmured into my spread legs during my first visit. I told my fiance he's not coming until we have the ultrasound. That's more of the 'we're all going to sit around and talk about this wonderful experience and look! Do you hear that? It's the heart beat!' moments that you want to share. The rest of it is just regular ol' gross chick stuff. What if your mom or grandma wanted to come to one of those? How would you feel? At this point I'm just curious.
Janesays Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 What if your mom or grandma wanted to come to one of those? How would you feel? At this point I'm just curious. HORRORS!!!!!!!!!!!:sick::sick::sick:
AMusing Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Dude, I'm telling you right here and now that if some guy EVER said to me, "We don't need to use protection because I have some rare medical condition that makes my sperm radioactive and unable to impregnate you..." I'm sorry. This is a serious thread (and I've made serious posts a few times already), but I just can't get this out of my head: Spidersperm, Spidersperm, His infertility, you can't confirm. Spins a lie: radioactive castration! Trust his claims, face impregnation. Look out! Here comes the Spidersperm. 6
sweetjasmine Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 That being said, she revealed "some level" of her medical history and diagnosis to him. Why she draws a line, balks about scheduling a consultation, fully clothed meeting w the physician to explain her diagnosis, not sure. Because there is literally no reason for it. Should she request a consultation so the doctor can tell her BOYFRIEND about HER condition? That's a complete and utter waste of the doctor's time. I just find it odd that people expect to go to a boyfriend or girlfriend's medical appointments unless the patient themselves wants someone there for moral support. I've only ever joined a loved one at a doctor's appointment by their request. Seriously, I just find it bizarre. Most physicians would have the patient fully clothed, in their office, to discuss a significant finding. She needs to understand her rights and how to handle giving him information. Erm. I've never been to an OB/GYN and not disrobed. It's on him to trust second hand medical diagnosis from a young, inexperienced girl. Which is why it's on him to have chosen to rely on the "let's hope she never gets pregnant even though it's possible" method. He has no right to demand to be present during her regular doctor's visits, but he DOES have the full right to take care of himself and his own body and to make his own reproductive decisions. 1
Treasa Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 My son lives in Texas. I get every report card. I get a letter every mother's day from his mom and on his birthday. He's a straight-A kid. He wants to be a pilot, and he plays football. When he was a baby he loved Blues Clues. I get pictures a few times a year. This has been going on since day one. And he just turned 13. That is really awesome. It's so cool that his mom isn't threatened by your presence. I'm near tears again. 4
Bigcitydreamer Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Where is your son? You chose the carousel of men over being a responsible parent at 20. Got it! But somehow OP should be different and take a women who lies, avoids, deflects the truth like the women in this thread and pay for her crimes of having low self esteem? Yes because he will win in the end Lets not even talk about raising a kid from parents that have low self esteem. The kid really wins. People in this thread are super selfish and can't look at your own issues and accept them and want to bring another kid into this world is going to fix this. Its not This has got to be one of the rudest if not the rudest responses I've ever seen on loveshack. How incredibly disgusting and ignorant. I've seen many of your answers CptSaveaho and you clearly try and go for shock value to push people's buttons but this crosses the line. Is proving your point really worth talking to someone like that? Anyone who dare say something like that to a woman needs serious help. 5
Treasa Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 HORRORS!!!!!!!!!!!:sick::sick::sick: I can see either my mom or grandma offering, and me shouting, "NO!" before they even got the chance to finish. 1
Treasa Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 This has got to be one of the rudest if not the rudest responses I've ever seen on loveshack. How incredibly disgusting and ignorant. I've seen many of your answers CptSaveaho and you clearly try and go for shock value to push people's buttons but this crosses the line. Is proving your point really worth talking to someone like that? Anyone who dare say something like that to a woman needs serious help. I'm still waiting for his PM so he can tell me how he really feels about women like me. Trembling in my sandals, here, gotta tell you. I think you're completely right about the attempts at shock. 1
serial muse Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I'm sorry - you're losing me. You're implying that I got pregnant on purpose, but then giving him up wasn't the "responsible" thing to do (LOL @ carousel of men - I was a broke college kid with no car living 2,000 miles away from home), but then turn around and say that people who DO parent are super selfish and can't look at their own issues? Which is it? Can you fathom what it feels like being a scared young girl with no support system facing an unplanned pregnancy with no idea what to do? NM - don't answer that; of course you don't. My son lives in Texas. I get every report card. I get a letter every mother's day from his mom and on his birthday. He's a straight-A kid. He wants to be a pilot, and he plays football. When he was a baby he loved Blues Clues. I get pictures a few times a year. This has been going on since day one. And he just turned 13. Brava. **where's the clapping smiley?? here have a bunch of bunnies for a classy response to an insanely rude post** :bunny::bunny: 2
bentleychic Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 All I have to add to this is that I have several kids and my exH went to EVERY ob/gyn appointment for them except two (and missed the one where I had an ultrasound to find out that I'd had a miscarriage). I was glad for him to be there and glad for the support and he was grateful to be included. Different strokes...*shrug*
Maleficent Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I'm still waiting for his PM so he can tell me how he really feels about women like me. Trembling in my sandals, here, gotta tell you. I think you're completely right about the attempts at shock. If he's here for shock value we are basically giving him what he wants. Just put him on ignore. 1
CptSaveAho Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 After all it is your integrity that will be scrutinized and questioned, women get a free pass for being sensitive and helpless. God I love this quote.... he called it too The sad part that most people dont see is that all the women of this thread are joyful and delighted that the OP got screwed Women! 1
Keenly Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Where is your son? You chose the carousel of men over being a responsible parent at 20. Got it! But somehow OP should be different and take a women who lies, avoids, deflects the truth like the women in this thread and pay for her crimes of having low self esteem? Yes because he will win in the end Lets not even talk about raising a kid from parents that have low self esteem. The kid really wins. People in this thread are super selfish and can't look at your own issues and accept them and want to bring another kid into this world is going to fix this. Its not You are crossing a line. This is never a decision that's taken lightly, and sometimes , as was in my case, its the best decision for everyone involved. We get it, you hate women, but god damn dude, I can't even follow you halfway to the places you go to sometimes. Also, referring to the previous discussion, 240 $ is about right if his income is 1400 a month, it so it goes in the state of California. I read up a lot on this, as it would have been what I would have payed at the time . 3
Janesays Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 All I have to add to this is that I have several kids and my exH went to EVERY ob/gyn appointment for them except two (and missed the one where I had an ultrasound to find out that I'd had a miscarriage). I was glad for him to be there and glad for the support and he was grateful to be included. Different strokes...*shrug* Eh. Good for you. I personally tend to be a little on the shy side when in uncompromising positions, but, as you have pointed out, some women have no qualms about it. Everyone IS different, true enough.
Treasa Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 If he's here for shock value we are basically giving him what he wants. Just put him on ignore. If he actually starts to bother me, I will.
Treasa Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 You are crossing a line. This is never a decision that's taken lightly, and sometimes , as was in my case, its the best decision for everyone involved. We get it, you hate women, but god damn dude, I can't even follow you halfway to the places you go to sometimes. Also, referring to the previous discussion, 240 $ is about right if his income is 1400 a month, it so it goes in the state of California. I read up a lot on this, as it would have been what I would have payed at the time . Yes, that's the base cost, but children don't usually follow the plan the state sets up, you know? It's almost like they're little people. Hell, pets don't even cost what they "should."
FitChick Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 My son lives in Texas. I get every report card. I get a letter every mother's day from his mom and on his birthday. I get pictures a few times a year. This has been going on since day one. Excellent post -- a 'mother' is someone who actually raises the child, not someone who donates sperm, egg or uterus. Too many people don't know the difference. I commend all women who unselfishly give up babies and children so everyone involved can have better lives. Society would be a better place if more people did this.
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