GF got pregnant on purpose, I think

[Keenly]

This is exactly why men needto completely ignore anything out of a woman's mouth when it comes to pregnancy, birth control, conception, ovulation. Etc. And take full control into their ken hands and never give it up. .

 

Too many times I've seen this happen and its all because of the blind trust that men will have when they are in love.

 

Remember guys, who cares what she says, women are fickle and change their mind constantly. They will not hesitate to trick you to get what they think they need right now. She's in for a reality check if she thinks having a baby at 21 is actually doable.

 

 

A lot of women also get pregnant intentionally because they just watched a friend or family member have a baby and they get juveniley jealous at the amount of attention they receive from strangers, friends, and family, so they think " hey I want the attention too" with zero regard for the actual parent part.

 

 

Basically you have two choices. Stay with her and be a parent, or let her have full custody and abide by your States legal and financial obligations. That's pretty much all you got.

[Keenly]

Eventually OP , you have to stop worrying about how it happened and just accept it. You need to decide how you are going to move forward from here. Never let anyone pressure you into something you don't feel you are ready for, but at the same time, you have to pay for this mistake , at least financially.

[Maleficent]

This is exactly why men needto completely ignore anything out of a woman's mouth when it comes to pregnancy, birth control, conception, ovulation. Etc. And take full control into their ken hands and never give it up. .

 

Too many times I've seen this happen and its all because of the blind trust that men will have when they are in love.

 

Remember guys, who cares what she says, women are fickle and change their mind constantly. They will not hesitate to trick you to get what they think they need right now. She's in for a reality check if she thinks having a baby at 21 is actually doable.

 

 

A lot of women also get pregnant intentionally because they just watched a friend or family member have a baby and they get juveniley jealous at the amount of attention they receive from strangers, friends, and family, so they think " hey I want the attention too" with zero regard for the actual parent part.

 

 

Basically you have two choices. Stay with her and be a parent, or let her have full custody and abide by your States legal and financial obligations. That's pretty much all you got.

 

I like you. You remind me of my ex and why I dumped his ass.

[Balzac]

He unwittingly pays a penalty if, as he suspects, she deluded him by optimizing random statistical factors to conceive. That's a loss of trust and perhaps the loss of the relationship. What remains for him is co-parenting or perhaps a marriage where trust is at issue. All penalties he did not choose.

[man_in_the_box]

A lot of women also get pregnant intentionally because they just watched a friend or family member have a baby and they get juveniley jealous at the amount of attention they receive from strangers, friends, and family, so they think " hey I want the attention too" with zero regard for the actual parent part.

 

Same could be said for.men who just stick their junk in first and then think about pregnancy. Isn't it great how nature is always two steps ahead by using our basic primal emotions?

[Keenly]

I like you. You remind me of my ex and why I dumped his ass.

 

Cool and completely unnecessary story bro. Men need to look out for themselves to avoid a woman making a life decision for them . Sorry that you don't like it, but in my world, my woman has absolutely no say in when she gets pregnant, I do.

[Maleficent]

Cool and completely unnecessary story bro. Men need to look out for themselves to avoid a woman making a life decision for them . Sorry that you don't like it, but in my world, my woman has absolutely no say in when she gets pregnant, I do.

 

True, but if you didn't have such a misogynist speech, perhaps you would attract women who, you know, isn't a lying selfish whore.

 

But I agree. OP gave up the birth control idea way too easily.

[Treasa]

He unwittingly pays a penalty if, as he suspects, she deluded him by optimizing random statistical factors to conceive. That's a loss of trust and perhaps the loss of the relationship. What remains for him is co-parenting or perhaps a marriage where trust is at issue. All penalties he did not choose.

 

Unless he completely lacks knowledge about how babies are made, he wasn't unwitting or deluded, except by his own mind. He made the choices. He didn't have to have sex with her. He didn't have to have unprotected sex with her.

 

I've never been accidentally knocked up (or purposely knocked up). Want to guess why? Multiple choice time here:

 

1. I got really lucky.

2. The stars and moon weren't aligned properly for it to happen.

3. I used proper protection or didn't have sex unless I was prepared to accept the consequences.

[Keenly]

True, but if you didn't have such a misogynist speech, perhaps you would attract women who, you know, isn't a lying selfish whore.

 

But I agree. OP gave up the birth control idea way too easily.

 

You clearly know nothing about me , who I am, how I act, or what my value system is. You couldn't be further from accurate. Anyone who knows me would laugh out loud when you said the word " mysoginist " . You know what they say about assumptions.

[Maleficent]

You clearly know nothing about me , who I am, how I act, or what my value system is. You couldn't be further from accurate. Anyone who knows me would laugh out loud when you said the word " mysoginist " . You know what they say about assumptions.

 

Well, you assumed I was gender biased so.

[Keenly]

Well, you assumed I was gender biased so.

 

A) way to deflect by bringing up a thread from a week ago. A thread that has nothing to do with this thread. You had two opposite opinions on the same subject, so using deductive reasoning, I came to a conclusion.

 

 

 

I think its funny how when a guy doesn't take birth control into his own hands, he is stupid and its his own fault, but when a guy like me says a man should take 100% control of makingg sure his sperm never hits that egg, he is suddenly a mysoginist. Its truly laughable.

[Maleficent]

A) way to deflect by bringing up a thread from a week ago. A thread that has nothing to do with this thread. You had two opposite opinions on the same subject, so using deductive reasoning, I came to a conclusion.

 

 

 

I think its funny how when a guy doesn't take birth control into his own hands, he is stupid and its his own fault, but when a guy like me says a man should take 100% control of makingg sure his sperm never hits that egg, he is suddenly a mysoginist. Its truly laughable.

 

I agreed with you on the BC part.

 

However saying all women are liars and shouldn't be trusted, THAT is misogynist.

[Miss_raptor]

/sigh.

 

OP, maybe she got pregnant "on purpose" by tracking her ovulation. Maybe she was curious about her cycle, since, you know, she's had a disease and some of her organs removed.

 

If she did it on purpose, that's not okay. At the same time, unprotected sex with someone who is really unlikely to get pregnant can still lead to pregnancy.

 

My mom had an immense amount of scarring from a disease and was told she would never get pregnant. Then she went through radiation and treatment for brain cancer. She got pregnant with (and carried to term) a healthy girl.

 

Women's bodies are mysterious. If you don't fully understand them, next time wrap it up.

[Treasa]

 

I think its funny how when a guy doesn't take birth control into his own hands, he is stupid and its his own fault, but when a guy like me says a man should take 100% control of makingg sure his sperm never hits that egg, he is suddenly a mysoginist. Its truly laughable.

 

I agree with you completely. I mean, about both a man and a woman taking responsibility for their own reproductive systems.

[Ninjainpajamas]

This is a really good thread for you guys out there reading this by chance who are young and single and dating.

 

 

Look at the arguments being made by most women and even the guys who are jumping on board for some easy kudos/brownie points (because we know if it was their @ss's they would be singing a whole different tune) it's a very black and white argument...very simple case of what happened here.

 

What the woman did or said or did not do did not implicate the woman in question in any wrong doing, although her actions and decisions weightedly made this situation possible in the first place he always goes down w the ship she never inherits any total responsibility even for having a strong influence....this woman could be extremely manipulative, however that is overshadowed by a favorable female outlook to obscure the woman's actions for the sake of exacerbating the man's faults to traditional stereotypical judgments and assessments instead of recognizing his emotions and whether he was treated in fairness instead questioning his own character and integrity...the man's credibility is on the line just like any domestic violence case where a cop rolls up, without any witnesses you can bet his @ss is going to jail.

 

When you make a choice as a man always consider your own well being because there are some very psychotic women out there who look completely different on the outside than what they are on the inside but that's never discussed unless blatant...many women view their own words and actions inconsequential to their responsibility as they reserve the right to change the rules and perspectives of a situation not to objectively and rationally divulge the truth but to place the responsibility on YOU as the man because you are not allowed to scape-goat to your "responsibilities" which are predetermined by the woman not expressed or communicated but presumed to be acknowledged and fulfilled regardless of your understanding or perspective. After all it is your integrity that will be scrutinized and questioned, women get a free pass for being sensitive and helpless.

 

This also means that when you commit an act or participate in something with that woman...whether you were solely responsible, lied to or manipulated..learning the terms after the fact, you still assume sole responsibility and duty for those consequences. What was done and said to get you there isn't what was important in their eyes and it will be completely useless and bear no weight in any justification...it's already too late, it's already in the past and done you've already assumed liability.

 

So I hope you guys are real careful in your choices...especially w the women you date, she could be your best friend or your worst enemy but you'll be the the finger is pointed at if anything goes wrong that women feel you are responsible...whether it's fair or makes any sense at all or you were very hurt or felt betrayed in the process...there isn't a lot of slack for men, so make sure your choices are worth the risk and whatever she tells you in the moment isn't going to mean anything when sheet hits the fan...the situation is already changed and different in that moment and she'll only remember the things she wanted.

 

Sorry to hijack the thread here but this is something young guys need to know...not for the superior bring a on LS of course but everyone else and "all women" to be all PC.

[Keenly]

I agreed with you on the BC part.

 

However saying all women are liars and shouldn't be trusted, THAT is misogynist.

I never said ALL women are liars and cant be trusted. What I AM saying, if you would stop taking what I say and running to the extreme with it, is that there ARE those women out there. We both know it. Lets call it 5%. That means in the US alone, there are around 10 million women walking around out there who have the capability to intentionally trick a man into marriage.

 

All I'm advocating is to not let that 5% win. Its literally the exact same thing as "Not all mechanics will rip you off, but some will if they think you are naive enough, so pick your mechanic carefully and make sure you trust them "

 

 

If you take 100% control of birth control there is no way you can be tricked / trapped.

Once again, not all women are untrustworthy by nature. But women do change their minds, and have very strong urges to be maternal.

 

If you combine a girl who has extremely impulsive behavior with a girl who has strong maternal instincts, its a recipe for a trap. Men need to be more aware, and have more control over a pregnancy happening. Its up to us to stop it from happening to us.

[Keenly]

No what's misogynistic about your posts is that you paint women out to be untrustworthy sperm-sucking wombs who want to take you for everything you're worth, and men are just the poor victims who lost control of their sperm in a battle of wills when penis met vagina.

 

Your exact words were: "This is exactly why men need to completely ignore anything out of a woman's mouth when it comes to pregnancy, birth control, conception, ovulation. Etc. And take full control into their ken hands and never give it up. .

 

Too many times I've seen this happen and its all because of the blind trust that men will have when they are in love.

 

Remember guys, who cares what she says, women are fickle and change their mind constantly. They will not hesitate to trick you to get what they think they need right now."

 

Maybe SOME women. Frankly I think you date the bottom of the barrel to be coming away with an attitude like that.

 

Like I said in the previous post. Around 5 %. You don't avoid taking precautions because "its only 5%."

 

Your "bottom of the barrel" personal attacks don't really strengthen your argument very much, because we have all seen this story play out before. It happens. You can't even argue that it doesn't happen. I find it ludicrous that because you are a woman, you get offended at the notion that a man should protect himself from you.

 

If you would never trap a man, that's fantastic and good on you, but to get angry / offended when a man actually DOES want to protect himself, his wallet, 18 years of his life.... Now that's truly ridiculous.

[emva07]

Um....you heard what was convenient to you. She said she had a low change....that it was almost impossible. She didnt' say "they removed my uterus, I'm good" ....and even then, you weren't there to see her get it extracted and could be a lie. Now that she's pregnant it's her fault?

 

I don't know why you assumed that meant you didn't have to use BC.

 

Yes she is guilty of using you to get pregnant, but you are guilty of not looking out for yourself.

 

My bf used to tell me he was a pro at pulling out, that he had been doing it for over 10 years, and of course after that comment it's up to me what i want to do with that information....I went to get BC.

 

When having sex, pregnancy is ALWAYS a possibility. Doctoris have even told women they will NEVER be able to have a kid and they have a miracle baby.

[AMusing]

Eventually OP , you have to stop worrying about how it happened and just accept it. You need to decide how you are going to move forward from here. Never let anyone pressure you into something you don't feel you are ready for, but at the same time, you have to pay for this mistake , at least financially.

 

Wow, Keenly, for the first time--I think on any thread on LS-- I agree with you on this. Well said. (I also agree with your pro-BC stance, and advocating that every man take BC very seriously instead of relying on his partner to take charge of it, but not for your reasons.)

 

Sorry that you don't like it, but in my world, my woman has absolutely no say in when she gets pregnant, I do.

 

Fixed it so you sound like a mature, responsible man instead of an ass:

 

...in my world, I will do everything in my power to make sure that I don't get a woman pregnant, until we are both ready to conceive. However, if an accident happens, I won't immediately assume she's a lying bitch, because I am aware that no BC method is 100% and pregnancy is a risk every time I choose to have sex with a woman.

[Keenly]

Reading comprehension buddy. I never said a man shouldn't protect himself.

 

Of course he should. So should she. But he is just as much at "fault" here.

 

I'd even argue, that at finding out I was pregnant at 20 and choosing adoption, I have more experience with this whole thing than you do.

 

 

Couple things. One, if you could point out where I said it wasn't his fault, I'd love to see that. You are trying to argue with me on something I never said. I was responding to a personal attack made to me, by some one who wanted to bring up a thread from a week ago.

 

Secondly, since you really wanted to go there. My ex stopped taking birth control for two weeks without telling me and she intentionally got pregnant, and then demanded I get a second job so she could stay at home and sit on the couch. She got addicted to opiates, and gave a still birth.

 

Still think you have more experience than I do? Next time, you might want to think before you go acting like a condescending ... woman.

[SugarLips72]

Pregnancy is always possible if she has at least 1 ovary and 1 tube. You do not know if she was being honest about her issues. She is pregnant and not much you can do now.

 

I know of NO women that use ovulation kits for any reason other than getting pregnant. This sounds suspicious to me and if she took the OPK and knew she was ovulating and had sex, yes it sounds like she tried to get pregnant. OPK's are not really used to avoid pregnancy, women can simply chart their cycles for that. Most women ovulate around the same time every month and long as their cycle length is the same. You then pretty much avoid sex a few days before and a day or 2 after ovulation.

 

A positive ovulation predictor means her body will likely ovulate within 24-48 hours. She had to have known she was fertile and pregnancy a possibility.

[Maleficent]

Keenly and Drseussgrrl, how are your opinions any better because you have had 'experience'.

 

Don't make me pull out the 'my daddy is stronger than your daddy' **** how.

 

[Maleficent]

Pregnancy is always possible if she has at least 1 ovary and 1 tube. You do not know if she was being honest about her issues. She is pregnant and not much you can do now.

 

I know of NO women that use ovulation kits for any reason other than getting pregnant. This sounds suspicious to me and if she took the OPK and knew she was ovulating and had sex, yes it sounds like she tried to get pregnant. OPK's are not really used to avoid pregnancy, women can simply chart their cycles for that. Most women ovulate around the same time every month and long as their cycle length is the same. You then pretty much avoid sex a few days before and a day or 2 after ovulation.

 

A positive ovulation predictor means her body will likely ovulate within 24-48 hours. She had to have known she was fertile and pregnancy a possibility.

 

 

Well, I'm on the pill, so I am not using the ovulation kit, obviously.

 

But I would imagine I would use one to know when I ovulate just so I can more or less know when I'll start my period so I don't ruin my panties.

 

Also, sperm doesn't all come out of the uterus after the intercourse. Some can stay up there and alive for a few days (more than a day or two). Also, the ovum is fertile for a while after ovulation.

 

The magic thoughts method is not an effective contraception method.

[CptSaveAho]

I'd even argue, that at finding out I was pregnant at 20 and choosing adoption, I have more experience with this whole thing than you do.

 

Whatever, you did this **** on purpose at 20, you were dumb and naive like the rest of us.. At least own it

 

Like Ninja said:

After all it is your integrity that will be scrutinized and questioned, women get a free pass for being sensitive and helpless.

 

Its easier for you to rationalize and lie about it now (to make you look sweet and innocent like ninja pointed out in his thread)...

[serial muse]

Let's ignore the fact she insisted she could not get pregnant and reassured him that she could not through doctors advice...

 

No, you are actually twisting the OP's words

 

GF said her doctor said pregnancy was unlikely but not impossible if the egg and sperm met up at exactly the right time/place.

 

He unwittingly pays a penalty if, as he suspects, she deluded him by optimizing random statistical factors to conceive. That's a loss of trust and perhaps the loss of the relationship.

 

But I think, by the same token, that the ASSUMPTION that she did this on purpose would be a loss of trust for the woman. I could certainly see a scenario in which I'd buy an ovulation kit to AVOID getting pregnant. Why isn't that even a consideration in anyone's math here? Honestly, you people are always ready to assume the worst, and fan the flames of paranoia.

 

Maybe it was an accident. She probably thought herself that getting pregnant was unlikely.

 

Why is this always so contentious??? So much hate.