Els Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Sperm doesn't always abide to the Mayan ovulation calender exactly either. That's not a smart way to prevent pregnancy, more so to increase the chances of. It's certainly still smarter than zero contraception. 2
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 "She went out of her way to get an ovulation thingy" is still being used as proof that gf is absolutely purposefully trying to get herself pregnant out of deceit and the OP is just the naive innocent bystander? Seriously, some people should just be locked in chastity belts until they learn biology. Real biology, not the 'biology means men want to spread their seed RAWRR' BS. Ha I knew that would be pointed out...I'm typing on my tablet. I wouldn't say it's absolute proof, I think the whole story of how this just suddenly became a "surprise" lacks credibility.
Shepp Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 he's panicking because he's not ok with a pregnancy, but that is in contradiction with his OP sounds reasonable! This is what happens when you talk the talk but don't want to walk the walk! Call me a cynic but for this all to be his gfs plan or decite would be a mighty fine get out of jail card, no? This is your baby lad - your someone's dad, time to man up! 3
Els Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I think the whole story of how this just suddenly became a "surprise" lacks credibility. I absolutely agree with this part. It would take an idiot (or a troll) to be surprised by a pregnancy after 8 months of unprotected sex. 3
Mint Sauce Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I wonder what her ovulation thingy was saying while she was pregnant with morning sickness, but not willing to take a pregnancy test... If my gf was using an ovulation kit, for whatever reason, I'd know, unless she's deliberately hiding it from me. But I withdraw from the thread. PS: sweetkiwi, I think your need to dust off your biology books: in case of an irregular cycle, in particular with one ovary missing, it's probably impossible to know time of ovulation without advanced tools. The only constant is time between ovulation and periods, but that's useless for BC. 2
ja123 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 OP, you're both young. I think your "freak-out" reaction is pretty normal because you're looking at the reality of years of responsibility. Could it be possible that you're projecting those fears on your GF in the form of blame? Whatever the case, do not lose sight of the good feelings you had with her before this. Do not lose sight of the feeling that if she did get pregnant that you'd be fine. You, together, most certainly can be fine. Sign-up for some relationship counselling, if need be, to help you deal with all of these mixed emotions, and to develop a solid plan for the future going forward. You can be a successful husband and dad. Best wishes! 3
man_in_the_box Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 That's why you should stick it in the other hole. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I absolutely agree with this part. It would take an idiot (or a troll) to be surprised by a pregnancy after 8 months of unprotected sex. Right because every 26year old guy is a med student who understands his GFs medical condition in detail w one ovary missing and her tubes somehow damaged and the doctor saying says it's very unlikely to get pregnant but not impossible which might sound like a pretty damn rare occurrence...yet no let's just chalk this into the statistical row as every two ovary having undamaged tube bearing woman who has unprotected sex and gets pregnant as a result. It's likely he felt some security in knowing that and felt that lowered the possibility of pregnancy overall...I can see a lot of guys buying into that. He doesn't seem ready for this and it's possible she could have been trying to get pregnant considering the pace of this relationship or I think she would have involved him sooner in in the pregnancy...not like hey guess what I'm 8 or 9 weeks pregnant...I've been throwing up but I just thought it was that cheeseburger the whole time.
Els Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Right because every 26year old guy is a med student who understands his GFs medical condition in detail w one ovary missing and her tubes somehow damaged and the doctor saying says it's very unlikely to get pregnant but not impossible which might sound like a pretty damn rare occurrence...yet no let's just chalk this into the statistical row as every two ovary having undamaged tube bearing woman who has unprotected sex and gets pregnant as a result. It's likely he felt some security in knowing that and felt that lowered the possibility of pregnancy overall...I can see a lot of guys buying into that. He doesn't seem ready for this and it's possible she could have been trying to get pregnant considering the pace of this relationship or I think she would have involved him sooner in in the pregnancy...not like hey guess what I'm 8 or 9 weeks pregnant...I've been throwing up but I just thought it was that cheeseburger the whole time. Your bias is showing, dude. Better cover it up. You're extrapolating everything into the girl knowing exactly what was going to happen, what she wanted, and how to trick her bf into it, while the guy did absolutely no wrong by choosing not to research his gf's condition and choosing not to play it safe. Two people made this pregnancy happen and he was one of them. Not knowing until 8 weeks pregnant would be quite possible for a woman who probably has her period once every two months or less. It's also possible that she WAS deceitful, but still doesn't change the fact that it's stupid and irresponsible to have unprotected sex and then cling on to shreds of 'evidence' to try and blameshift when a pregnancy actually happens. 2
CptSaveAho Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 (edited) LOL @ every woman in this thread As ninja stated in the his post, you were owned... she was full of ****. If you even have the slightest inclination that it happened on purpose, IT DID.... contrary to the bull**** the women in this thread state. I hear women say this same story all the time too. I could never get pregnant blah blah blah even after the fact. I've even had a girl try pulling this same stunt on me except i sensed it and kicked her ass to the curb Not only this happened to you but later on after the kid is born shes going to resent you and make your life more miserable. Shes going to blame you for it just like the women of this thread are doing now. Watch it happen I would push for a planned parent hood option or invest in a clothes hanger or a tall flight of stairs and get yourself out of this situation. Something like "I love you but Im not ready to have children, lets do it later on after I get settled in my career " blah blah blah then dump her after its done Edited August 27, 2013 by CptSaveAho
xxoo Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I hear women say this same story all the time too. I could never get pregnant blah blah blah even after the fact. You know why that is? Because so many women have had their doctor tell them that they may have trouble getting pregnant because of XY and Z. I had doctors tell me that as a young woman, too, and it didn't turn out to be true. Harp, what actions can you point to of your own that said, "we are waiting to try to conceive"? Because the reality it, ejaculating inside your partner knowing there is no birth control in place says, "we are trying to conceive".
CptSaveAho Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 RIGHT!!!! shes full of crap and he believed her.... her action of buying ovulation kits trumps her doctor BS Lies that shes spewing
xxoo Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 RIGHT!!!! shes full of crap and he believed her.... her action of buying ovulation kits trumps her doctor BS Lies that shes spewing Was he full of crap when he said he was alright with conceiving? His actions said, "We're seeing if we can conceive." 1
CptSaveAho Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Was he full of crap when he said he was alright with conceiving? His actions said, "We're seeing if we can conceive." see OP this is whats going to happen to you................ Shes going to twist it and blame you Look at another girl that it happened to... projecting the blame on to you Fix it or face this for the rest of your life
Bigcitydreamer Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I do admit it *sounds* suspicious but it may not be the case. I say this because my best friend was also told that she would not naturally be able to conceive. They said there was a rare chance but highly unlikely. She then years later met a guy at school. She was dirt poor at the time attending college full time to be an environmental technologist. She ended up getting pregnant by him a few months into their relationship. They didn't use birth control thinking chances were slim. She considered her ovulation schedule also. Is this a smart way to go about things? No obviously not but people really can be naive about crap. Now sure she could have put a show on for me but I sincerely believe that she did not plan it. She was devastated during her pregnancy. I've never seen such a change in personality in someone for the worse. She was a wreck and it terrified. She and her bf had no money. He was also a full time student. Most women do not want to get pregnant before marriage because even if they want a baby, if the man leaves, life will be hard for them. Marriage is more of a guarantee. But she had the baby and now is back to normal. She's happy again and sees that her life isn't destroyed by a mistake. So this could be the case with your gf. I'd suggest asking her why she got the ovulation kit because that will give you the best answer your probably going to get.
Treasa Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 OP, let's say she DID try to get pregnant on purpose. She couldn't have done it without your consent. You put your wee willy winkie in her for eight months knowing it was *possible* for her to get pregnant. This is on you. Time to pay the piper. Also, I hope you have a decent job if she decides to keep the baby. Child support isn't cheap, assuming you leave her, which I have a feeling you're going to do, despite your claims of loving her and being ok with her getting pregnant. 3
Lansing Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Not sure why YOU wouldn't use protection.. geez, don't blame her.. I am a guy and I wouldn't do something as stupid as this. 1
clia Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 We decided not to use any form of BC because she would have a hard time getting pregnant and IF it did happen I wasn't worried about it because I knew we'd be fine (she's the only girl I've ever felt that way with). I'm sorry -- what's the problem again? You weren't using any birth control, but somehow it's all her fault she got pregnant? 7
Janesays Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 The second you BOTH decided together that you were not going to use birth control was the same second you BOTH decided together that you were going to 'try to conceive.' 2
Maleficent Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I just love how men want to blame the woman in the instance of an unplanned pregnancy when he had no problem busting a nut with no glove for months leading up to the "big deception." And I just love how they all assume she was planning this behind his back. 6
AMusing Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 OP, it does sound very suspicious that she bought an ovulation kit. But she said she was just curious if she were ovulating at all, correct? For a woman who has had such extensive illness/surgery on her reproductive organs, that's not a completely unreasonable thing to wonder about. Could she have been hoping to get pregnant? Sure. And if she were trying to get pregnant without your knowledge, that is a wildly awful thing to do. But dude... you've told this girl that you want to marry her, you've been ejaculating inside her with no protection for months, and told her that if she gets pregnant you're cool with it. This isn't exactly equivalent to the infamous blow job and a turkey-baster story. The best thing for you to decide is: A) Do you trust her enough to believe her? and B) If she did try to get pregnant "behind your back," can you forgive her for it (if she admits the truth or not)? Those are personal choices, not ones we can answer for you. I would push for a planned parent hood option or invest in a clothes hanger or a tall flight of stairs and get yourself out of this situation. Something like "I love you but Im not ready to have children, lets do it later on after I get settled in my career " blah blah blah then dump her after its done Holy **** dude. I'm as pro-choice as they come, but wtf? 4
Maleficent Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Right because every 26year old guy is a med student who understands his GFs medical condition in detail w one ovary missing and her tubes somehow damaged and the doctor saying says it's very unlikely to get pregnant but not impossible which might sound like a pretty damn rare occurrence...yet no let's just chalk this into the statistical row as every two ovary having undamaged tube bearing woman who has unprotected sex and gets pregnant as a result. It's likely he felt some security in knowing that and felt that lowered the possibility of pregnancy overall...I can see a lot of guys buying into that. He doesn't seem ready for this and it's possible she could have been trying to get pregnant considering the pace of this relationship or I think she would have involved him sooner in in the pregnancy...not like hey guess what I'm 8 or 9 weeks pregnant...I've been throwing up but I just thought it was that cheeseburger the whole time. A 26 year old should know that, unless a girl is medically declared infertile (which she wasn't), ejaculating inside her with no protection could eventually lead to pregnancy. I mean really...unlikely but not impossible = it's possible. 3
xxoo Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 The second you BOTH decided together that you were not going to use birth control was the same second you BOTH decided together that you were going to 'try to conceive.' This is something people need to understand. Having sex with no birth control is trying to conceive. Even if you aren't hoping to conceive, you are trying to conceive. You are following the exact steps necessary to conceive a baby. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Let's ignore the fact she insisted she could not get pregnant and reassured him that she could not through doctors advice...giving that tiny tiny possibility which is more of a technicality than a warning....because its not impossible necessarily....i mean if you're struck by lightning good God man don't be surprised..its not impossible after all...especially months later after reassuring you the odds are quite low...even denying the signs of vommiting and refusing to take a pregnancy test...it's all your fault young man trusting that she knew her own medical situation better than you. But that's all inconsequential to some as judgment...as you have failed as a man not taking your responsibility in spite of all that...you selfish philanderer you! Leading him to believe this was near impossible but then again if she didn't do that maybe they wouldn't be having unprotected sex in the first place! If she was just the average girl w not vagina medical history *grasp* that could have changed the outcome today, isn't that something! A revelation perhaps...likely not to some I'm sure.
MidwestUSA Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I am going to take a guess that your girlfriend suffered from PID, an STD that essentially "glues up" your female parts internally. With one ovary and just one part of the remaining tube (and scar tissue present from the surgery to unglue things) I do hope her doctor has, or is planning to, make sure this isn't an intraabdominal or a tubal pregnancy, either of which could be life threatening. This is quite possibly a high risk pregnancy, which should be monitored closely. Now, back to assessing blame. 2
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