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Which one of us is being unreasonable?

Andrea_Jade

By Andrea_Jade
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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Betterthanthis13 Established Member

Betterthanthis13

Posted
Posted
Well we have reached agreement on this. I've agreed to do it twice and I will show him what I find attractive in a woman (that pretty easy really, just get me Angelina Jolie). He is going to find the woman and it will happen one night as a surprise so I can't get all nervous and back out. That is of course after we no doubt talk a fair bit over the phone first.

 

To be honest, and quite to my surprise, now that I've made this decision I actually have a tingle thinking about the where, when and how. I hope this works out well, especially for him, he really has his heart set on this and he has been so wonderful with what he has allowed me to do over the years that in the end I really couldn't say no.

 

I'm really happy for you! Let us know how it goes. :)

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Bryanp Established Member

Bryanp

Posted
Posted

Why did you not let your husband touch you for years?

BetheButterfly Established Member

BetheButterfly

Posted
Posted (edited)

I know how I feel about this but I do see his points (I just don’t agree with them).

 

Am I being unreasonable? And if I am surely you can’t suggest that I should try including another woman against my wishes just to satisfy him?

 

I am not looking for a debate on the pros and cons of alternative lifestyles, I know it has its detractors. This is about fairness and not forcing someone into doing something they don’t want to satisfy others.

 

 

While I do not agree with your lifestyle because I think it's harmful and is not the ideal, I do not consider your 17 year old alternative lifestyle to have been fair to him. Fairness would be to allow him to have other girlfriends, since you have had other boyfriends.

 

In my relationship, we are both fair because neither one of us wants to have other sexual relationships; I do not have other boyfriends and he does not have other girlfriends. He is my boyfriend (husband) and I am his girlfriend (wife); that's it. That is fair.

 

However, you having boyfriends and him not having girlfriends is most definitely not fair. It would be fair if you have other boyfriends and he has other girlfriends. Fairness is not a hard concept to understand.

 

I don't think it matters if you are bisexual or not. Fairness would be to allow him to have other girlfriends.

Edited by BetheButterfly
BetheButterfly Established Member

BetheButterfly

Posted
Posted
Well we have reached agreement on this. I've agreed to do it twice and I will show him what I find attractive in a woman (that pretty easy really, just get me Angelina Jolie). He is going to find the woman and it will happen one night as a surprise so I can't get all nervous and back out. That is of course after we no doubt talk a fair bit over the phone first.

 

To be honest, and quite to my surprise, now that I've made this decision I actually have a tingle thinking about the where, when and how. I hope this works out well, especially for him, he really has his heart set on this and he has been so wonderful with what he has allowed me to do over the years that in the end I really couldn't say no.

 

Well, that is fair. Yes you could and can say no, but the rules of fairness do dictate you saying yes.

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