Author clairedunham Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 We have all done the unimaginable for our exes and if I start disclosing what I subscribed myself to just for her people would think that I've lost my mind and for a long while I did lose my mind and identity for her. We can all think of the "beautiful" moments we shared with our exes but reality is that it's all in the past where it belongs and should remain for good. I was dumped roughly 3.5 months ago out of a 5 year relationship. The first month I felt paralyzed but little by little I started moving a toe then a finger then my body and started to see that I was little by little recuperating from this devastating blow and pain my ex brough upon me. It will take time, I can attest that I'm nowhere near healed but its only up to us whether we want to fully heal or not. Find that inner strength to propel yourself day in and day out. Embrace the emotional roller coaster as crazy as it may sound and know that you just need to hang on as thight as you can and eventually the ride will come to an end and you will get off it to become a new and improved you. Yet I still feel he is going to come back
JDPT Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Don't worry about what he may or may not do, this is about you and no one else. 1
Author clairedunham Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 Just confirming, 90 days is not a magical point where you contact an ex (made that mistake before). It's just a case of being in a better place to honestly assess your feelings. And because you do appear to be angry and a bit emotional, now is definitely not the time to talk to your ex. I definitely agree with this but it sucks he lives like 2 min away from me in a car
Author clairedunham Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 I think a lot of people on here, when they make the decision to go NC, think that it's something you do once. It isn't. NC is a decision you recommit to every day. Every morning when you get up, you go another day not contacting them. And then the next day, you make the decision again. And you keep making it until it's just a part of your life. Like an exercise program, like a marriage, it's something you recommit to over and over. have you ever got back together with an ex?
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 have you ever got back together with an ex? You have got to get it out of your head that he is coming back at some point. ALL that is doing is giving you an incredibly amount of false hope that will hinder you recovering at any point. The fact is you guys are not together and a VERY strong chance that you wont at any point at any time. Yeah, that sucks to hear obviously, but that is the truth. No matter what he is doing, that shouldnt be your concern. Your ONLY concern should be to not contact him, heal, and move on. That is what you can do. That is all you can do. Stay NC and keep working on you. I can tell you that is what he is doing
Author clairedunham Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 Sure. Had a 3 year sh*tfight with one where we broke up and got back together, broke up and got back together, broke up and got back together.... You could set your watch by it. He's be an ar$e, and break up with me, or I with him, I'd got NC (I didn't know NC was a 'thing', I'd just ignore him because I was so upset and didn't want to talk to him), and then 3 months later, like clockwork, he'd come sniffing around me again, armed with apologies and grand declerations of love, and I'd be back in. Sure enough, it'd all implode, and the cycle began again... I'm email friends with one ex (no desire to go back there, we just have a lot of common interests that frequently overlap, and it was easier to be friendly than ignore him altogether), otherwise the rest have been consigned to the past... I dont speak to any ex. Really not interested I mean I'm nice with them if I see them and talk to them and cool but no friendly ways. My current ex is friends with her high school sweetheart he dumped because he didnt love her and it burns through me. He actually cheated on her and went steady with another girl and then broke with that girl and ask her to get back together. She said no. They are still friends and if it weren't for me they'd still talk. God knows they are talking right now. They get along well. He always told me to reassure me that he didn't like her like that AT ALL. This was one of our many problems. My paranoia . I always see them together and I don't like her. I think she still has feelings for him. I remember like when we started going out the sister of his ex used to still beef him for breaking her sisters heart and she talked **** to my ex about me because I went out with one of his friends (who is also their high school friend) for 2 weeks but it didn't work out. Like one month later I got with my ex.
Author clairedunham Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 She tells him this after 5 years of break up
Author clairedunham Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 Yeah, you really need to stay NC. Look, I would be the first person to advise to not be friends with an ex. In fact I do advise to not be friends with an ex. This is just a natural thing that evolved, and I let it happen rather than fight it. If he disappears one day, I won't fight that either. It's just a thing that happened, and I went with the flow. I ain't interested in anything else from him, the occasional email trail is fine. You need to work on your paranoia, and until you can get that under control with some help, you're in no position to date. I was in no position to date anybody at the time I started dating my current ex but I did. I remember telling myself and my best friend "Im not gonna date in yeeeaaaarrssss (I meant a lot of years like 8 or something) and Im gonna focus on myself" after I stopped going out with that guy for 2 weeks and I meant it. My ex pursued me and I told him I wasnt happy. He told me to relax bla bla. I got along so well with him. It just happened
Author clairedunham Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 My advice to you is to maintain NC. For the foreseeable future. What forseeable future?
Author clairedunham Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 There is no time limit. From this point in time, for now, you must maintain strict NC. I need you to slap me. I need you to discipline me
Author clairedunham Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 I haven't been asked to do that in a while... How come you have no threads started?
Author clairedunham Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 Cause I dont know your story
Author clairedunham Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 No I didnt say that. So I guess you're not here because of an ex?
Author clairedunham Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 Nope. Just hanging out. Cool :):)
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