LME Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 How do you get over the fear that history will repeat itself? or is that part of being vulnerable in a relationship? I went through my first breakup about 2.5 months ago, while i'm mostly moved on and over the initial all over the place breakup phases sometimes i think about how great it was when i first met my ex, that feeling of falling in love and how it changed so much over 10 months to the point where i was so annoyed by him and no longer felt that passion. I am not scared of falling in love again and my previous relationship/break up has taught me a lot about myself and how i can improve in future relationships but in the back of my mind i just think of how something so great ended and how that can happen again. i guess taht is dating/life though
reddragon588 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 How do you get over the fear that history will repeat itself? or is that part of being vulnerable in a relationship? I went through my first breakup about 2.5 months ago, while i'm mostly moved on and over the initial all over the place breakup phases sometimes i think about how great it was when i first met my ex, that feeling of falling in love and how it changed so much over 10 months to the point where i was so annoyed by him and no longer felt that passion. I am not scared of falling in love again and my previous relationship/break up has taught me a lot about myself and how i can improve in future relationships but in the back of my mind i just think of how something so great ended and how that can happen again. i guess taht is dating/life though I've been through two real breakups, and a couple other breakups with flings rather than relationships. It is definitely part of being vulnerable in a relationship. But you have to put yourself out there to meet the right person where breaking up will never cross your or their mind. 1
Author LME Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 That's a good point. And I never really thought of breaking up with my ex until the last few months and then he broke up with me. I knew it was going to end i guess it was just hard for me to admit it because let's face it who wants to admit their relationship is failing. i was holding on to the past and the what-ifs. Learned my lesson that when it feels over it probably is, or i should at least have a serious conversation about how im feeling rather than just bottling up all my emotions for months 1
Jenny1234 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 It's hard.... I've been through 3 real bad breakups and going through another now....I find myself very guarded when I start dating again...but when I actually have that good feeling and click with someone I let my walls down. It gets harder everytime...but you have to let yourself go through it all to hopefully find your true love. I hope all the pain I've gone through will pay off one day soon You need time and never ever give up hope...you deserve the best and never forget that...just keep living your life and push forward
Soat Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Sex and the city said it best: Carrie: And it just gets harder as we get older because we're not dating wildly inappropriate people anymore, you know. There's, there's no, uh, "Pshew, glad that's over!" Burger: Right, right. Carrie: And after every breakup I tell myself, I'm never doing this again. It's too hard. I mean, how many of these things can one person survive? -- Sex and The City 1
Author LME Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 thanks! don't worry i def have not given up hope, i know i'll find someone out there for me. it is just since that was my first real relationship and breakup how the second one will be different and idk its still a little weird to think about
todreaminblue Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 (edited) With anything i feel knowledge is key, knowing the person you intend on being with...but even then...you can know someone for years, think ok, i know this person, all is cool, and circumstances and the life that you have together can change them or they buckle at crucial turning points and forks you travel on.......they could develop habits or ways that become problems that you have to deal with.... what i feel you need to do to be able to get past your past.......is to accept it.......history doesnt have to repeat.....abused dont have to become abusers...people who have been cheated on dont have to be cheated on again by another or become the cheat themselves...its all choices we decide on what we want and who we want to be.....blaming others is crap........even though some of the aforementioned things are common things to happen, doesnt mean they will...i am living proof....proud to be too......that i fit in to one of the above actually two if i didnt believe in good people and have known awesome stunningly bright human beings, true good people...then i might really have a problem getting into and maintaining a relationship...but.......i do believe in good people have met enough to know they are all over the place doin' their thing....which isloving others and shining on.. to be in a relationship you have to beleive its going to work......i always beleive its goign to work ....until i cant believe that any more.....and my beliefs in the future .....and relationships for that matter...dont depend on things that have happened in my past that are bad........or relationships that have failed...but the fact I know how far and how capable i am .......i need help to keep a relationship alive...butu my cappbilities in this department.......pretty good......ok ...excellent...lol.....and ill wait for the right relationship.....because settling for lacklustre anything isnt my style....i am a little ocd in making shiny things........deb Edited August 27, 2013 by todreaminblue
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