She broke up with me as a trick?

August 27, 2013

so i've been asking ppl what are are my ex's intentions with me. it seems that know one really knows, but her. with that in mind i've been reading our old text msgs since our relationship became rocky.

i knew i always tried to "fix" the relationship, and kept rushing. she told me that i need to work on myself before i attempt to fix it and stop rushing the process.

she said this "you'll know and i'll know you're ready for a relationship when you can see yourself not in one... and happy." told me to stop being dependant on her to be happy, that she feels smothered.

also said this "I need you to learn that if you love someone, you will let them find happiness. I do appreciate you, but you need to figure out what you deserve. Life is about taking risks, not being safe. Keeping me just because you think I'll be gone forever is not the right thing to do. What if breaking up is what I need to get better and for you to get better and if we're meant maybe we'll find our way back."

she was always telling me that "maybe i should break up with you to make you open your eyes.." and all that. after she did break up she told me this..."Maybe one day we will cross paths again.. Who knows.. I just want you to grow from this, heal with time, and trust faith that there's a path for you.."

it's hard to let go and move on with this on my mind. i know that she wants me to better myself, and thats what i'm going to do. its been 2 weeks of nc, i really miss her. she told me not to date anyone soon, and she will do the same. i had a talk with her sister, and she say's that my ex really likes me...which i couldn't believe.

this whole break up had me wondering if it was a trick to make things better with us. like a blessing in disguise. what do you think?

August 27, 2013

Not really. I think your ex wants to see what else is out there and if she doesn't like it, she hopes you have improved from whatever you were at the end of the relationship so she can have you as an option if need be. But if she truly valued your relationship, she would have never let you free in the first place.

August 27, 2013

I agree with simon, she seemed set on her decision of breaking up with you, even if her sister said she missed you, of course she does what ex doesn't miss their old partner after a break up, don't take that to heart, I got told that my ex missed me but it wasn't anything I thought it would be she just said it in the moment, it wasn't a "i miss you and want you back" your gf seems keen on moving on and becoming a better person, that is what you should be doing now. Move on and stop trying to complete these puzzles in your mind it won't help anything.

August 27, 2013

I agree with simon, she seemed set on her decision of breaking up with you, even if her sister said she missed you, of course she does what ex doesn't miss their old partner after a break up, don't take that to heart, I got told that my ex missed me but it wasn't anything I thought it would be she just said it in the moment, it wasn't a "i miss you and want you back" your gf seems keen on moving on and becoming a better person, that is what you should be doing now. Move on and stop trying to complete these puzzles in your mind it won't help anything.

i really can't move on. this girl made me feel like the most luckiest guy on earth. she made me feel special. you know the type, prom queen, most popular girl, great personality and looks. i mean, i'd be stupid to let her go this easy. i want to make it work.

August 27, 2013

i really can't move on. this girl made me feel like the most luckiest guy on earth. she made me feel special. you know the type, prom queen, most popular girl, great personality and looks. i mean, i'd be stupid to let her go this easy. i want to make it work.

I understand your pain, my ex girlfriend made me feel like the most lucky guy in the world also, but you can try and fight for her but what are you fighting for? she has said that she wants you to change because you smothered her, so instead of contemplating a way to get her back.. why not try to change for yourself? and maybe one day along the line she will realize that you have truly changed and became a new person. When someones mind is set on the break up they're not going to come running back into your arms man, she doesn't want that as much as you do. You just have to push forward and keep a small amount of hope that she will come back one day, just remember if you beg and plead it will push her further away.

August 27, 2013

i really can't move on. this girl made me feel like the most luckiest guy on earth. she made me feel special. you know the type, prom queen, most popular girl, great personality and looks. i mean, i'd be stupid to let her go this easy. i want to make it work.

You can move on. I'm 3 months out of a 3 year relationship that made me feel the exact same as you with a great young woman. I'm moving on. I just deleted her from Facebook, I've been on other dates, I've received job offers to move 300 miles away. It still hurts and I still miss her, but I'm moving on. You just have to want to move on.

I understand wanting to make it work. But (and I know this sounds backwards, but it's true), the only way you can make it work is by moving on.

Go no contact, work on yourself, make yourself happy. She will see you moving on, and she will realize that she has lost you and miss you. Once she feels that, she will either realize she needs you back in your life, or she will realize she doesn't want you in her life and move on herself.

Either way, you win. If she decides that she doesn't want you, well, that sucks, but do you really want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? No! Trust me! And I understand how hard that is to accept, but you will see it eventually.

My ex and I went on a break last year, and we did many of the same things you talk about. We worked on our issues, we worked on ourselves, but we never went NC, we saw each other all the time, we talked every day. We never got the chance to miss each other and realize if we did or didn't want to be with each other. It didn't work out and we broke up again 10 months later.

If we had gone NC during that break, would it have worked out? I don't know, but I do know that it would have given us a better chance to either strengthen our relationship, or move on from a broken relationship 10 months earlier than we did.

August 27, 2013

Maybe but I think this also means she's not sure of her feelings for you anymore

August 27, 2013

i really can't move on. this girl made me feel like the most luckiest guy on earth. she made me feel special. you know the type, prom queen, most popular girl, great personality and looks. i mean, i'd be stupid to let her go this easy. i want to make it work.

Well, if she doesn't want to make it work, it doesn't matter what you want. You don't seem to understand this. And I wouldn't take solace in her "missing you". My ex of over a year recently told me she missed me, but she doesn't want to get back with me and is still bitter about how our breakup went down. Being "missed" doesn't mean that they want you back.

August 27, 2013

"told me to stop being dependant on her to be happy, that she feels smothered."

This sounds like a crock of sh** unless you were literally hanging off her arm every minute you were with her?

Have heard several women use this excuse all the time, they are just tired and looking for excitement, AKA a new penis in their life.

You need to get drunk and find the sluttiest party girl there is. Practice safe sex, eat before drinking and drink plenty of water before bed. Then wake up a new man and find a new woman to be with who will not give you these crappy lines straight out of a Jerry Macguire movie.

August 27, 2013

You can move on. I'm 3 months out of a 3 year relationship that made me feel the exact same as you with a great young woman. I'm moving on. I just deleted her from Facebook, I've been on other dates, I've received job offers to move 300 miles away. It still hurts and I still miss her, but I'm moving on. You just have to want to move on.

I understand wanting to make it work. But (and I know this sounds backwards, but it's true), the only way you can make it work is by moving on.

Go no contact, work on yourself, make yourself happy. She will see you moving on, and she will realize that she has lost you and miss you. Once she feels that, she will either realize she needs you back in your life, or she will realize she doesn't want you in her life and move on herself.

Either way, you win. If she decides that she doesn't want you, well, that sucks, but do you really want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? No! Trust me! And I understand how hard that is to accept, but you will see it eventually.

My ex and I went on a break last year, and we did many of the same things you talk about. We worked on our issues, we worked on ourselves, but we never went NC, we saw each other all the time, we talked every day. We never got the chance to miss each other and realize if we did or didn't want to be with each other. It didn't work out and we broke up again 10 months later.

If we had gone NC during that break, would it have worked out? I don't know, but I do know that it would have given us a better chance to either strengthen our relationship, or move on from a broken relationship 10 months earlier than we did.

she told me that.."give me some time and space so i can miss you, so i can remember all the good you are and not resent you."

i had a big problem with not giving her space, and now i'm two week no contact. the longest we ever spent apart.

August 27, 2013

"told me to stop being dependant on her to be happy, that she feels smothered."

This sounds like a crock of sh** unless you were literally hanging off her arm every minute you were with her?

Have heard several women use this excuse all the time, they are just tired and looking for excitement, AKA a new penis in their life.

You need to get drunk and find the sluttiest party girl there is. Practice safe sex, eat before drinking and drink plenty of water before bed. Then wake up a new man and find a new woman to be with who will not give you these crappy lines straight out of a Jerry Macguire movie.

haha, i was a sex addict with her and was too affectionate, maybe thats why she felt smothered. i can't help it, if you saw her you would understand.

August 27, 2013

Yea I think she cares about you and prob sees you as someone with potential and a potential husband but a long the way there were problems and ****. Sorta sounds like my r/s.

August 27, 2013

she told me that.."give me some time and space so i can miss you, so i can remember all the good you are and not resent you."

i had a big problem with not giving her space, and now i'm two week no contact. the longest we ever spent apart.

So what's the issue then? She doesn't want to talk to you, so don't talk to her. She wants you to back off, so stay backed off. But instead of sitting there just waiting around, you have to be active in moving forward. You can't assume that she's going to come back because if she comes back, she'll be coming back to the exact same clingy person she broke up with if you just sit around waiting for her.

Go out and live life. Make new friends. Reconnect with old ones. Take up a hobby. Work out, Do anything but sit around pining for her. So if she does come back, she'll come back to Jiminy Cricket 2.0, not what she broke up with.

August 27, 2013

she told me that.."give me some time and space so i can miss you, so i can remember all the good you are and not resent you."

This confirms it. Get away from this woman as quickly as possible and never look back. This is one of the most ham lines I have ever come across and cannot believe a real person would ever say something like this. My BS alarm is going off so loud in my head I can't hear the TV anymore.

RUN

August 27, 2013

Hi Jiminiy, I'm sorry you're still hurting over this.

First of all, if someone broke up with me as a 'trick', I wouldn't be in a hurry to get back with them. They'd find themselves on a break permanently.

Secondly, I agree with the esteemed posters before me. She seems to have constructed an extraordinary house of excuses to house one truth - that she was done dating you and ready to move on. People like this are not worthy of your time and effort, and you should put the time an energy you're spending here into someone better than your ex.

Yeah, I'd be pissed as hell if someone broke up with me as a trick. That person would be out completely.

August 27, 2013

haha, i was a sex addict with her and was too affectionate, maybe thats why she felt smothered. i can't help it, if you saw her you would understand.

If a woman these days is mad because you want too much sex with her then this is a clear red flag. These days women are so afraid of porn and loose women that are stealing away their man's attention. A lot of women also complain about men's lack of sex drive these days and low testosterone males that don't want to have sex more than once per month or less.

August 27, 2013

There is no trick, bamboozle, etc etc etc

Fact is, she does not want to be in a relationship with you. All of the other BS she is spewing is to possibly keep you there if she falls flat on her face because no one wants to go this world alone. If THAT happens (which probably wont), then all you are is a pinch hitter until something better comes along and you will be back to square one and probably even below that.

You dont want to hear it because you want it SO bad to work, but the fact remains is she doesnt want to be with you. I know it sucks to hear, but you need to hear it. Nothing you say, do, or whatever, if she doesnt want to be with you, it wont work. She is "perfect." She isnt "the only". This isnt a movie where the good guy gets the girl and everyone lives happily ever after. This is real life, and things like this happen. You WILL get over it, you WILL move on, and you WILL find someone better that you will realize that this other girl is a waste.

August 27, 2013

Whoa whoa whoa. Yea he should move on but come on people. You are not in the r/s to know what is going on only he does. If she said for him to fix himself its because she does care about him. There must be some tension going on that she told you this. Like you people say, r/s come and go they come and go so everyone should stick with a person who is dependent?. She prob did it for his own good. Only she knows him and only he knows the r/s and what is going on. Maybe she has her own problems. If you guys really knew love you would understand. What you say is true about NC , that matters but she is not a bad person. You people also say relationships come and go and then you tell me go find yourself someone who really cares? Yea this is reality and the reality of it is you guys don't know the r/s (as I said) and all you are doing is contradicting yourself with what is love and what is not

August 27, 2013

Whoa whoa whoa. Yea he should move on but come on people. You are not in the r/s to know what is going on only he does. If she said for him to fix himself its because she does care about him. There must be some tension going on that she told you this. Like you people say, r/s come and go they come and go so everyone should stick with a person who is dependent?. She prob did it for his own good. Only she knows him and only he knows the r/s and what is going on. Maybe she has her own problems. If you guys really knew love you would understand. What you say is true about NC , that matters but she is not a bad person. You people also say relationships come and go and then you tell me go find yourself someone who really cares? Yea this is reality and the reality of it is you guys don't know the r/s (as I said) and all you are doing is contradicting yourself with what is love and what is not

I have no idea what you are trying to say here.

August 27, 2013

Whoa whoa whoa. Yea he should move on but come on people. You are not in the r/s to know what is going on only he does. If she said for him to fix himself its because she does care about him. There must be some tension going on that she told you this. Like you people say, r/s come and go they come and go so everyone should stick with a person who is dependent?. She prob did it for his own good. Only she knows him and only he knows the r/s and what is going on. Maybe she has her own problems. If you guys really knew love you would understand. What you say is true about NC , that matters but she is not a bad person. You people also say relationships come and go and then you tell me go find yourself someone who really cares? Yea this is reality and the reality of it is you guys don't know the r/s (as I said) and all you are doing is contradicting yourself with what is love and what is not

Um....what?

August 27, 2013

Yea I think she cares about you and prob sees you as someone with potential and a potential husband but a long the way there were problems and ****. Sorta sounds like my r/s.

exactly, she told me that i have so much potential, and i'm going to be the perfect husband to someone someday.

August 27, 2013

exactly, she told me that i have so much potential, and i'm going to be the perfect husband to someone someday.

Yeah, just not her. I've been told that line by an ex before too. I didn't get back with her.

August 27, 2013

exactly, she told me that i have so much potential, and i'm going to be the perfect husband to someone someday.

Ooooooo. Low blow

August 27, 2013

exactly, she told me that i have so much potential, and i'm going to be the perfect husband to someone someday.

Yeah...if you had SO much potential and ARE the perfect husband, why is she not there? If you were so perfect to her, then WHY would she leave?

When something is so special to someone, they would FIGHT to hold onto it. She wouldn't let you go in fear you would be gone. She is saying very nice things to you to try and let you down easy.

I think you're a good dude because you obviously care about her and you obviously have strong emotions which are amazing traits to have. I have no doubt what she says has truth to it because you probably will make a good husband someday, but its not with her. Everything she is coming up with (too much sex, you being overdependent, whatever whatever) is her trying to find faults to justify to herself why she left. In reality, there are reasons deep that you dont know and you might find out one day and I hope you will be over this to not care.

This is where you need to NOT contact her, move on, learn some lessons, and keep living life.

August 27, 2013

depends how old you are and how your career is shaping up, improve then check back in with her, it is not like you want to give up on her, so try, but she can't be that hard to replace, there's lots of smiley girls out there

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