ltjg45 Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 I been meaning to ask this question for a while but I also tend to forget when it is time to make the thread. Now that I remembered, I might as well ask and see what happens. People here would say that I'm a little insecure, shy, and not very outgoing in the reasons why I have no dating success and no sex experience at my age of 26, which I'm turning 27 in exactly 3 weeks from now. Understandable. It's not something I'm proud of, by any means, but I didn't let it destroy me on the inside out. However, there is an obstacle that I feel is a major problem if I were to try and start dating: the complete lack of commonly-seen material items that is typically used when dating someone. What do I mean? Cars, cell phones, your own place to live, some form of money, etc etc. To put it bluntly, I never had my own cell phone. I did get one of those cheap Tracphone ones (or however you call it) but I never used it and gave it away to my brother. Right now, outside of my mother, I'm the only male within my immediate family who doesn't have a cell phone. Both of my younger brothers that can think for themselves have one. With that said, I have basically no experience with texting or even having any form of reliance on using it. So it does sound a hell of a lot harder to date when I don't have the one item people tend to use when they pick up numbers. With the insanely high number of people with cell phones (heck, one Wal-Mart employee is homeless and she has an active cell phone), I'm at a major disadvantage. Secondly, I don't have a car. I used to have a Driver's License back when I was 17 but I never used it after getting said license and I left it go when I couldn't afford to renew it. Ever since, I never made it a priority to get it back because I didn't see me getting a car given the financial situation I was in at the time, which is utterly terrible. Of course, to make it even worse, I still live with my mother, which is another dating obstacle right there but I do have plans to get out of here one day because, frankly, I want nothing more to do with her anymore but that's another topic for another day. With all of that said, should I even bother dating without a cell phone, a car, or my own place? Considering basically every person at the Wal-Mart I work at all have cell phones and I seen women younger than me with cars, it seems pointless to even try. I don't even want to think if they got their own places as well.
clia Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Is there some reason why you can't get a phone or get your driver's license now? You have a job now, right? I'm not going to lie -- the lack of a phone, transportation, money, and living with your mom at age 27 are not particularly great. But, you are trying to get out of that situation, so there's that. Your situation can only get better from here. I don't think you should give up on dating at all, but I think you will have a much harder time than a guy who actually has a means of communicating with the person they want to date, means of transportation, and has $20 to take them out for a meal occasionally. 1
pteromom Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 The car may be the biggest obstacle, depending on public transportation options where you live. If you live somewhere with a subway, light rail, etc. it isn't as big of a deal. You can text without a cell phone. Google Voice or other free/inexpensive apps. So you can get around that. Having your own place isn't a necessity in order to date. So I would say that these things may make it more of a challenge, but aren't a reason not to date. But I'd make improving your own situation a higher priority than dating.
Author ltjg45 Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 Is there some reason why you can't get a phone or get your driver's license now? You have a job now, right? As in now? Not really as far as a cell phone is concerned. A friend of mine has given me her old iPhone 3 but she needs to unlock it so once I get that back, I could have a working cell phone as soon as the next few days. As for a car, I'm sure it is much more difficult. First, I have to get my driver's license back and since I hasn't got behind a wheel in almost a decade, I basically forgot all I learned back in high school so I'm sure I will need to take Driver Education classes again. Not to mention there is little point to do that when I can't see me getting a car and my credit is still quite bad, which is another obstacle. I'm not going to lie -- the lack of a phone, transportation, money, and living with your mom at age 27 are not particularly great. But, you are trying to get out of that situation, so there's that. Your situation can only get better from here. I don't think you should give up on dating at all, but I think you will have a much harder time than a guy who actually has a means of communicating with the person they want to date, means of transportation, and has $20 to take them out for a meal occasionally. That's basically what I'm thinking. I have seen a few women at my work place that I'm attracted to and, when they told me they have a boyfriend, I guess it was better it was done that way than for them to find out that I don't even own a cell phone.
todreaminblue Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 you know you might nto have experience, i have a theroy that people who have multiple dates and insanely high numbers...have issues.......and actually arent dating right...but thats my opinion........i feel they cant settle ...so lack of experience doesnt have to be a bad thing....... as far as not having a cell phone......or a car....or your own place....or spare cash...it makes you feel bad....if you feel bad going into a date you are going to feel bad dating....is that logic?....crap im logical today.......yuk...lol...... so my suggestion is to go into a date without that worry....work on what makes you feel insecure, there is no (I have to date now memo) for you...there is no (i am bad at dating because i have no experience plastered all over the newspaper with your name on it)........you need to feel confident enough in yourself to date.....with me....i date from the friendzone....yes...i am actually normally friends with people i date...i do this ...because then they know me accept em and love me anyway in spite of my numerous and glaringly obvious flaws.......join soem groups get out fo the house, when you can buy yoruself a cheap phone if it makes you feel better....and you are saving the atmosphere by being car handicapped....i dont drive.....guys dont seem to mind who i have dated...in fact they dont want me too especially the ones who have tried to teach me...........because i suck at it.....if you join green peace.....i am sure a beautiful woman who i into saving the natural world around us......would love your lack of exhaust capability...its all perspective related..you are less gassy so therefore beautiful...smilin atcha...always have hope.....someone is out there who would get you...best wishes...huge hugs...deb
FitChick Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Forget about dating and concentrate on getting a better job. You need a license since it is a common form of ID these days.
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