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How could he say this? Trying to make sense of this tought B/U


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Posted

Scratch that. I just had a total break down at work :( So much for "today will be a good day"

Posted
Scratch that. I just had a total break down at work :( So much for "today will be a good day"

 

It's always tough in the morning for me and I had to call in "sick" for work at the beginning because I kept thinking about her and I ended up moping around all day. The trip will definitely help this weekend, I myself am from Toronto and went to NYC for a week after 14 days of NC and it did help alot. There are going to be times where you see things that make you think of them but over time feelings will fade. Stay strong !!! :)))

Posted
Scratch that. I just had a total break down at work :( So much for "today will be a good day"

 

 

So many Internet hugs from me to you.

 

I had a breakdown too. I realized I have dried flowers on my desk from a bouquet he gave me. Lost. My. Cool.

 

It's awful. Whenever I was sad (mad, happy, stressed, etc. etc.), HE was the person I would call to talk my feelings through. He was my sounding board, therapist, and support system. It's such a habit to call him when I need help and a sympathetic ear...which is obviously something of a conundrum in this case.

 

This is going to sound uber-nerdy, but what's helping me right now is reading academic texts and tech manuals. Seriously. There is absolutely nothing emotional in them, and a bit of logic is much needed when I feel like theres absolutely no rhyme or reason in the world. So find the most boring literature you can find and read a paragraph. It's kinda zen.

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Posted

Thanks NvrLetUDown. That's so tough, I feel glad that I've been able to get out of bed and do things ... but randomly breaking down has sucked. Being from Toronto, you are probably familiar with Killarney up North. That's where I'm going, and I'm looking forward to getting out of the city and into new surroundings. Thanks for your support

 

CBKBM, internet hugs right back at you!! I'm sorry you had a breakdown to, if it was anything like mine, it sucks :( I have dried flowers from him in my basement still. They are the one thing I have not removed yet, oddly enough. I'm not sure why, but for some reason they don't make me sad. They are from V-day so maybe it's just memories of good times.

 

But definitely tough not having someone to call anymore. I've relied heavily on friends, and I hope your friends have been there for you too! I'll have to think about that literature idea ha ha! I actually have books coming from the library, about how to handle and manage break ups and come out stronger. Basically self-help lol. Hopefully they will actually help. I'm also finding funny books to read, like Sh*t My Dad Says, Are You There God? It's Me Chelsea .. etc. To make me laugh, and remind me that I CAN still laugh!

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Posted

I know just how you feel, my ex left me in July saying he didn't love me any more. What's worse, this happened 8 days after our first anniversary, during which he told me he loved me with all his heart and would never leave me.

 

Today he deleted me from Facebook and it appears he no longer wants anything to do with me. It hasn't even been 2 months yet. So NC starts today for me. I have no idea how I'll get through this, I believed he was my soul mate, we made plans to get engaged, get a place together...

 

And yet I can't even avoid reminders, because his brother and my sister are in-laws, so I will always see his relatives at family gatherings. My sister is getting married in October and most of his family (and possibly him) are coming to the wedding. I'm dreading it. :(

 

Anyway, perhaps we can all help each other through these tough times. :)

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Posted
I know just how you feel, my ex left me in July saying he didn't love me any more. What's worse, this happened 8 days after our first anniversary, during which he told me he loved me with all his heart and would never leave me.

 

Today he deleted me from Facebook and it appears he no longer wants anything to do with me. It hasn't even been 2 months yet. So NC starts today for me. I have no idea how I'll get through this, I believed he was my soul mate, we made plans to get engaged, get a place together...

 

And yet I can't even avoid reminders, because his brother and my sister are in-laws, so I will always see his relatives at family gatherings. My sister is getting married in October and most of his family (and possibly him) are coming to the wedding. I'm dreading it. :(

 

Anyway, perhaps we can all help each other through these tough times. :)

 

Oh my goodness Wings of Love, that's awful :( It's a horrible and confusing feeling. How can they say one thing this day, and the complete opposite the next. It doesn't make sense.

 

It's tough being deleted off FB, I even get slightly offended when people I'm not even friends with delete me! To have an ex do this really sucks. But hopefully it can be a wake up for you, and it's one less thing that you have to look at! NC is really tough too :S

 

And that really really really sucks about the family connection, that you cannot get away from him :( I want to tell you, go find a sexy man to take as a date to the wedding and show your ex who needs him! ... but that's a lot easier said than done lol.

 

LS has been a lifesaver for me these past few days, and we are definitely here for you when you need support!!!!

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Posted

ALSO, to my break-up buddies on this thread! If you haven't already seen it, there's a thread somewhere not to far below this one ... It has a great link to a website. I just went through the whole thing ... check it out

 

Breakup Recovery Guide

 

I think it offers really great advice. And realistic too. It tackles what to do if you just can't not respond to texts, how to do NC if you are strong enough, etc.

 

I mention this, because my ex just texted me an hour ago. "Hey, How are you?" .... BREADCRUMBS.

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Posted

Thanks for the link Karpeezy!

 

I hate that other people are going through this, but it is really helpful to know I'm not solo voyager in uncharted territory. Seriously.

 

And small victory today! I surrounded myself with self-help books, drank some good coffee, and actually laughed. And today was the first time that instead of feeling an acute sadness, I felt sad *for* me. It's almost like an out of body experience; it's like I'm watching a movie of someone else, and feeling sad for them, but not as sad myself. Not sure if that makes sense. Maybe it's a symptom of shock? I'm sure I'll be sobbing later, but I'll take any removal of pain for now.

 

And wow, breadrcrumbs! Holding strong with the NC? No judgement here.

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Posted

 

I hate that other people are going through this, but it is really helpful to know I'm not solo voyager in uncharted territory. Seriously.

 

You are welcome! I thought it was a great site and might help some of us on here :)

 

Sometimes it feels like we really are "solo voyagers in uncharted territory" (love that) and this site has been great to be reminded that we are not alone!

 

Small victories add up into big victories! That is a great step, good for you!! :) I feel like these numb moments are part of the mourning process. I get them to, where I feel actually ok! And then I cry later lol. But it's nice to have that moment where it seems, hey! in time, things may actually be OK!

 

Aaaaand yep, I broke NC. I don't feel guilty about it (yet). I feel like I handled myself well, and before I responded I took time to really push into my head "this doesn't mean anything. he's going to ask about baseball. nothing more. he broke up with me. assume he is not coming back". Which I think made it easier?

I responded to the original question "I've been better" .. him "Are you coming to baseball tomorrow?" Me: "No, I'm not". Him: "OK, I understand." Me: Maybe next week, good luck. Him: "Hopefully next week. Thanks."

And that's that. First contact in 5 days. I feel numb right now too.

Posted
Oh my goodness Wings of Love, that's awful :( It's a horrible and confusing feeling. How can they say one thing this day, and the complete opposite the next. It doesn't make sense.

 

It's tough being deleted off FB, I even get slightly offended when people I'm not even friends with delete me! To have an ex do this really sucks. But hopefully it can be a wake up for you, and it's one less thing that you have to look at! NC is really tough too :S

 

And that really really really sucks about the family connection, that you cannot get away from him :( I want to tell you, go find a sexy man to take as a date to the wedding and show your ex who needs him! ... but that's a lot easier said than done lol.

 

LS has been a lifesaver for me these past few days, and we are definitely here for you when you need support!!!!

 

It is awful, but I woke up today thinking that it's his loss. If he can't see what he's throwing away, that's his problem! NC will be tough, but I've done it with an ex before and I'm still going strong more then 3 years later. Of course I don't feel anything for that ex now, but that means I'm strong enough to get over my recent ex too. :)

 

As for a date to the wedding, that's what I'm aiming for! Whether my ex is there or not, I'm going to enjoy myself. So I'm sorting out some ID (never had any before, even though I'm 23) and I'm putting myself out there so I have a chance to meet someone. I don't know if my ex will come back, though I'm sure he won't like me meeting new guys, but that's no longer important. I don't care what he thinks any more.

 

Thanks for the link! That should be an interesting read. :)

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