OLD How do you feel about people using fake names?

[HappyLove]

Met a guy through OLD. It seems we have a lot in common. We exchanged a few emails and was looking forward to meeting up. When he called he mistakenly said his real name so I was taken aback. He ended every email with his fake name. So I said wait who's this? He says oh my name is really (let's just call him Bob), they say not to use your real name online. I could maybe understand if his name was something like Wyclef and for business reasons he wanted it private but his name is very common & simple. I also don't believe he planned to tell me, he thought he was calling someone else. Then the fact that he didn't disclose this in any email makes me wonder what else is he lying about if you lie about something as important as your name! So I have no interest now as I see it as a red flag. I rather end it now. So of course now that I'm not interested he texts me and leaves messages every few days...figures. Am I right or am I being too hard on this guy? What do you think about people using fake names when online dating?

[mammasita]

Red flag.

 

A first name is nothing to lie about. I can see with-holding a last name until knowing somebody a bit more - but a first name......red flag.

[MidwestUSA]

Agree. Name, age (what's the point of shaving off three years?), lie about any of it and I'll be wondering what else you're lying about. And my experinces have shown, in every case, I had reason to be concerned. (Yea, I used to give an occasional pass - no more). I be smarter now!

[RedRobin]

I don't tell strangers online my real last name.

 

Even on Meetups and Facebook, my last name isn't real. My family and friends are not only cool about it, they agree it is a good idea.

[MidwestUSA]

I don't tell strangers online my real last name.

 

Even on Meetups and Facebook, my last name isn't real. My family and friends are not only cool about it, they agree it is a good idea.

Definitely agree on the last vs first name issue. Since she mentioned 'Bob', I assumed she was referring to first name. I go by my first and middle names, therefore am Midwest Muh***in!

[FitChick]

I've had men with, for example, usernames like Frank123 turn out to be George but that didn't bother me. It wasn't the same as saying their real name was Frank and I found out later it was George.

[Star Gazer]

I had a guy start his emails by introducing himself as Greg and signing each email as Greg. I thought he looked familiar, and sure enough, we have several mutual friends who identified him to me as Bill. Neither are exactly unique names.

 

Greg is not his middle or last name, so it was plucked out of thin air.

 

When I asked him why he lied about his name, he said he was entitled to keep it private and said something like, "There are crazy b*tches out there."

 

I passed.

[todreaminblue]

I dunno, on the one hand using a fake name would be the first sign of someone married or in a relationship, on the other hand, lots of people are justifiably paranoid due to govt surveillance of cyberspace. In your shoes, I probably would have given him a chance to explain in person, show some ID, and then go from there. Since he is persisting despite your knowing his name now, it seems he is not likely married or would have moved on to someone else who didn't know his real name. Good luck.

 

not only govt surveillance....exes ....stalkers...if they have been abused and the perpetrator is out and free....people in their past they dont want to know they are online or come across them...you would be surprised how small the world is..even online...

 

in sayign that some people are just dicks with issues and want to hurt others so they dont use their real name.....deb

[henderson14]

Make sure he's not a registered sex offender.

[sillyanswer]

I had my very own secret agent name when I was about nine. I never found much use for it when communicating with adults, though.

[HappyLove]

Yes, I should be clear he lied about his first name. I don't expect anyone to give their last name until after getting to know and trust you better. But lying about a very simple and common first name while at the same time declaring you want someone who is honest...is bizarre!