mutant Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 For whatever reason, the ex has sent me a text wanting to know how I have been doing? It's been nine months since she pulled the plug and I have ignored three of her previous attempts to contact me in the spirit of NC. I have gradually gotten better both emotionally and financially since our split and my life has been simply amazing. I haven't been dating anyone but I have friendzoned a few girls who have shown interest in me over the last few months . I have also managed to forgive the ex for all she put me through but haven't contacted her and wasn't going to do so until now, and there lies the problem. When I received the text I was happy at first, then angry, and finally went calm about it I have always been thinking about the ex ever since the BU but never considered contacting her. She has now contacted me and I am considering texting back just to tell her I have been fine etc and without giving much details about my life. I feel this will not have much effect on me and I will probably be back to normal in a few days. I don't know if this is the right thing to do or there is another angle in this that I cant see. Feel free to chime in with your $ 0.02
malin819 Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 I would not respond till she makes her intentions clear. You could just respond...Thanks doing fine!
Philosoraptor Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 The thing is if hearing anything affects you at all, you'd be best to not respond. You never know what her next response will be. Could be simple conversation, could be a "rub in your face" type of message about how she's so in love or just had the best sex ever. I'd tell anyone until you can handle the extremes completely unfazed, you'd be best to maintain NC until that point.
Author mutant Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 I would not respond till she makes her intentions clear. You could just respond...Thanks doing fine! Yes, that's pretty much why I didn't respond immediately to her text. For all I know she has been dating someone else based on what she told me back in December last year right before we parted ways. I don't want to converse with her so might send a similar text to what you proposed. The thing is if hearing anything affects you at all, you'd be best to not respond. You never know what her next response will be. Could be simple conversation, could be a "rub in your face" type of message about how she's so in love or just had the best sex ever. I'd tell anyone until you can handle the extremes completely unfazed, you'd be best to maintain NC until that point. She's quite civil and wouldn't send provocative texts. My guess is that she wants just to say hi or her relationship with the other guy is going tits up and she needs some sort of a fall back guy. I think I am looking for an ego boost that's why i want to text her back.
Chi townD Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 When I received the text I was happy at first, then angry, and finally went calm about it Seems like a lot of emotion in that sentence and not a lot of indifference.
Author mutant Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 Seems like a lot of emotion in that sentence and not a lot of indifference. yes it was more like, happy to know she still thinks about me, then angry because she thinks I need to hear from her despite what she put me through. Then calmed down later within a span of about five minutes. I am not indifferent yet and probably wont be in the near future but I feel I am not far away. I am thinking of replying the text after 24 hrs which will allow me to consider if it is necessary or not.
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Why? No good can come of it. If you are looking for an ego boost, forget it. You won't get what you want. And, it may end up much worse for you than you anticipate. Ask yourself, what do you want from this? What good can come from it. Nada. That's what!! NC and move on. Do you really want to undo yourself? All the hard work you've put in? I say, forget it!!
Author mutant Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 Why? No good can come of it. If you are looking for an ego boost, forget it. You won't get what you want. And, it may end up much worse for you than you anticipate. Ask yourself, what do you want from this? What good can come from it. Nada. That's what!! NC and move on. Do you really want to undo yourself? All the hard work you've put in? I say, forget it!! This is the sort of advice I have offered to several struggling posters here on LS, it's time to take my own advice. 2
Chi townD Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Dude, you have to look at it as she's pulling on the leash to see if the dog is still there. To see if she still has some power; still has some kind of a hold on you.
Nicoleiia Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Dude, you have to look at it as she's pulling on the leash to see if the dog is still there. To see if she still has some power; still has some kind of a hold on you. Yes, let sleeping dogs lie and remain NC. She's fishing. Don't fall for it. Just ignore her.
Author mutant Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 Dude, you have to look at it as she's pulling on the leash to see if the dog is still there. To see if she still has some power; still has some kind of a hold on you. I totally agree with this. One of her reasons for contacting me is to see whether she still has some power over me. Yes, let sleeping dogs lie and remain NC. She's fishing. Don't fall for it. Just ignore her. She better does her fishing elsewhere, not falling for it
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