Jenny1234 Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Long story short...breakup almost 4 months ago...he basically had a meltdown and walked away which I never fully agreed with but I said I can't fight you on this...just leave and never ever come back here ... I'm moving on starting now and I will never see you again. We were together 2.5 years. Both in early 30s. The last thing he said to me that horrible night was "I love you" and just walked away into the dark of night. Fast forward a few months... We have gone on spans of no contact...we randomly text...at the beginning it was more me but he would always keep the convo going but I could always feel him being hesitant....he left hours between texts.....now suddenly he's playing words with friends again...And when we text it's a rapid fire convo.... All these convos are light.... Never ever have we discussed the relationship In my heart I have always wanted him back....I have had ups and downs over the last few months...I've dated a few people....I think I'm starting to confuse myself now.....maybe he really just want to be pals with me ..maybe when he ended it it was totally final in his head....maybe he's confused....like why do you want to continue to text me and never see me...maybe he is warming back up to me ...maybe he's crazy....maybe in crazy lol I've done most of the heavy lifting and not sure what to do next...I'm getting tired of lifting!
Knoxpwns Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 (edited) Long story short...breakup almost 4 months ago... <snip> IN YOUR LIFE vs. NOT IN YOUR LIFE. Only give him one. Obvious answer is NC. I'm sorry but I will boldly claim that people, especially guys, know what they want. If he wanted to be with you, he would. if I really loved someone, and they loved me back, nothing would stop me from trying to give them the world. TL;DR, he's full of ****. Stop talking to him, NC, work on you. Edited August 26, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Soat Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Yeah it's time to stop deluding yourself that you're moving on as youve allowed the relationship to continue into effectively a new form. Any contact means at some level you're hoping to get back together. Do you really want to be with someone whom after 2.5 years just walks up and says "hey we are done"? If he did it once he will do it again. Also, you can never ever be friends with an ex. It never works in both short and definitely in the long run. Think about this very carefully.
Author Jenny1234 Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 Yeah it's time to stop deluding yourself that you're moving on as youve allowed the relationship to continue into effectively a new form. Any contact means at some level you're hoping to get back together. Do you really want to be with someone whom after 2.5 years just walks up and says "hey we are done"? If he did it once he will do it again. Also, you can never ever be friends with an ex. It never works in both short and definitely in the long run. Think about this very carefully. That's the embarrassing part...I do hope to get back together but Im certainly not admitting that to anyone else by my loveshack people. I feel like I'm playing chess..everything has to be thought out and calculated..annoying
Soat Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 That's the embarrassing part...I do hope to get back together but Im certainly not admitting that to anyone else by my loveshack people. I feel like I'm playing chess..everything has to be thought out and calculated..annoying Just focus on the logic side. The emotional side will lead you to making mistakes you likely will regret in years to come. Read the thread here from Ronald where he basically made big mistake of getting back with an ex cause he wasnt strong enough. 15 years later he realized it was a wrong and he wishes he did what he knew had to be done
Author Jenny1234 Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 That's a good tip....my brain knows this is all a bad idea but my heart is leading me in all crazy directions. I'm glad in the 100s of texts since the BU I have never said anything about missing him...just all random crap...poker face
NXS Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 What do you mean by a 'meltdown'? Does he have psychiatric problems?
Author Jenny1234 Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 What do you mean by a 'meltdown'? Does he have psychiatric problems? He was depressed I think and it all came to a head....he wasn't happy with his job, apartment, family moved away and I was always trying to help him but suddenly he clumped me in that mess and decided I was part of his problems too.
NXS Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 He was depressed I think and it all came to a head....he wasn't happy with his job, apartment, family moved away and I was always trying to help him but suddenly he clumped me in that mess and decided I was part of his problems too. Oh right, it sounds like that's how he deals with problems, just walks away.
Author Jenny1234 Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 Yep...he has coping issues. And that's the opposite of me...I like to talk about things and work on them. I just don't turn my back on people and walk away and don't give up in things so easily. That's why I was so hurt...I was willing to work in things after 2.5 years of a overall good relationship and he just wasn't. Now I don't understand why he wants to be texting buddies with someone he will never see...makes no rational sense...like what's you're deal!
NXS Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Yep...he has coping issues. And that's the opposite of me...I like to talk about things and work on them. I just don't turn my back on people and walk away and don't give up in things so easily. That's why I was so hurt...I was willing to work in things after 2.5 years of a overall good relationship and he just wasn't. Now I don't understand why he wants to be texting buddies with someone he will never see...makes no rational sense...like what's you're deal! Well you replying to them doesn't make rational sense either, this is going nowhere and you know it, he doesn't know how to deal with problems and you're never going to know, if you get back together, if he'll have another meltdown and repeat the same thing again. It's time to move on and you already know this but are still grasping at straws or looking for closure or something.
Author Jenny1234 Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 Well you replying to them doesn't make rational sense either, this is going nowhere and you know it, he doesn't know how to deal with problems and you're never going to know, if you get back together, if he'll have another meltdown and repeat the same thing again. It's time to move on and you already know this but are still grasping at straws or looking for closure or something. Very true...I'm just as crazy right now for giving into the contact and keeping it going when my head clearly knows better! My friends keep telling me I'm lucky it ended...that I dodged a bullet and I'm better off alone. Thanks for you support and advice
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