rmarkham Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 So here's my complete store (I know it's a long one). Max, my now ex, met about a year and a half ago, April 2012. Max had just moved here from a small town and I was the first person he met. We immediately hit it off but he did not want a relationship, which kind of hurt me, but still, I went after him, for a few months. When it came time to go to Calgary for my practicum, he really missed me. I was gone for a month and it just about killed him. While I was away he told me that he wanted a relationship and that he wanted me to move in. We waited until September 2012 (and after many arguments), I moved in with him. Things seemed really good for a while. Even though we clashed on just about everything. Max is very picky and must have things looking a certain way. I'm very relaxed so those things didn't really matter to me. However, the fights escalated and we just started doing really mean things to eachother. I would pick on him about his smoking and drinking, which really started to bother me. We had a really good Christmas together, even though Max never put any thoughts into his gift. I was pretty disappointed but I never said anything. Then , this is where it started to get bad. We went with some friends to a hotel Christmas party and I got drunk and let Max know about the way I thought about him. The smoking, drinking, the lack of romance and trying. He got mad and left. And that's where it started to turn worse. His birthday came on February 16 and I got so drunk that of course we fought about petty things. While he was hanging out with his friends, I slipped out and went to visit a friend. He was very upset that I left (I would be too), I don't know why I did such a thing to him. The next day we broke up... It was mutual, or so I thought. I could see how really hurt he was. He was having a really hard time dealing. A month and some later, I started to miss him (considering we were still living together). It got to the point where I flat out asked him if he wanted to get back together. We were still sleeping together (bad I know). He was very hesitant, and probably still very hurt. But after a few days, he said yes and we shared a nice kiss. But then again, things went back to the way they were before. No sex drive, chats with other men, arguments. A month or 2 later I broke up with him, again. Still living together, things weren't awkward, yet. And yes, still sleeping together. Then, yet again, I started to miss him. Was it the fact that we were living together or that I hated to see him over me? Because he definitely was. I told him how I felt and he brushed me off. He started to get very cold and mean, and I couldn't take it. That's not the Max I know. The Max I know is very warm and loving most days. But then he completely disconnected and stopped touching me, talking to me about things, or sleeping in the same bed. I definitely lost him. He told me he wanted his independence back and for me to move out. That hurt so bad. I also watched him flirt with other people. And he told me flat out, that I'm not the person he wants to be with. So 2 days ago, while he was at work, I moved out. I took all the important stuff and moved in with a friend for the time being. He was pretty hurt that I ignored him all day and just left. I'm planning on a big move at the end of the September, but for now I feel so lost. I miss him so much, our friendship, and yes, I miss being sexually involved with him. I deleted his # from my phone so I won't text or call him. But I still have him on FB and I've been so tempted to say something to him. But I don't know what to say or keep it cool. I know it's a good day to stay away from eachother for a while until we figure our problems out. But I do have faith, that we will become better people and eventually make eachother happy...
Philosoraptor Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Well it's obvious here that there was more hope than actual substance. Both of you went into moving together (and the relationship) with non-realistic views as there was much fighting even before you moved in. Stayed together through a lot of issues as well. Doesn't seem like either of you were truly emotionally ready to take this next step and it all crumbled down around you once you did. A lot of spiteful games were being played and alcohol surely didn't play a very helpful role in any of this. I'd wash your hands clean of this, heal up, and move on to someone you are more compatible with.
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